Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In 7/29/09 & CHUCK!!

Scale said 150.6 lbs this morning, down 1.8 poundages from last week. I'm storming the 140 gates!

And, for all those who follow his sordid adventures, a report on Chuck's stay with me has just been posted on his blog. Enjoy.

Now, I'm going to finish this dish of gelato and walk the dog!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Awesome 80's Workout!

I've been obsessed with creating new music playlists for my workouts. I can't listen to the same playlist for more than a few workouts before I quickly tire of it. And I was running out of ideas for some motivational tunage...until last night. While watching Meatballs with Bobzilla, I got to feeling nostalgic.

Remember all of those 80's action movies? The acting was pretty atrocious, to be sure. And the story & dialogue ridiculous, even laughable (every other line in Top Gun is dry-heave worthy). But the best part of those movies are the cheesy soundtracks. The Jan Hammer-esque drum machines, keyboards and male falsetto vocals seemed to appropriately undermine the testosterone-laden energy the songs tried so desperately to convey. Yet, common among all of the songs was the theme of staying strong in the face of adversity, of fighting through to the end. How perfect for a workout!

Here is my ultimate Cheesey 80's Soundtrack Workout playlist:

1. To warm up, let's start off with something a little less threatening for our stretches. Like, say, "You Got the Touch" from the animated Transformers movie. (Yes, that song was later covered in the movie Boogie Nights)

2. To start the heart pumping, "Never Say Die," by King Kobra from the awesome Iron Eagles is a great transition song.

3. Now, to reach maximum heart rate, nothing does the trick more effectively than "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins, from Top Gun, which would be perfectly paired with the elliptical:

4. Getting tired from riding that bike? Here's some inspiration from Frank Stallone, who reminds you that you may be down, but you are "Far From Over," from the underrated Staying Alive:

5. Pat Benatar's "Invincible" from the movie The Legend of Billy Jean will help you finish that last set of tricep curls:

6. Channel Stallone in Over the Top as you work those pull-ups, courtesy of Sammy Hagar's "Winner Takes it All"

7. Would Rocky stop running simply because he was winded or had excruciating cramps? Would he stop going into the ring simply because it might kill him? Hell, no. Grit your teeth, suck it up and keep going. As Robert Tepper wisely observes, there's "No Easy Way Out."* And there's no shortcut home:

8. As we cool down and stretch, envision yourself as Ahnold's character Kaminski in Raw Deal after you just handed the asses of Patrovita and his henchmen back to them. Yeah, that's some hard work. Now breathe deeply and bring your hips back to your neutral spine....

*"Eye of the Tiger" is for pansies. Save it for pilates.


I'll be circulating some ideas for the Winter 2010 Flog 'O Rama shortly. So much fun!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 7/22/09 & Shtuff

It seems that these weekly weigh-ins have started to expand beyond simple scale readings and more like reports of everything I've been doing lately crammed into one weekly post. This has been one hella busy summer, and I underestimated my available free time. Every week I think things have wound down, but I ignore the calendar Bobzilla has hanging on the office wall behind me. That calendar is scrawled with notes, appointments and events for every weekend since May.

For instance, there's a party this Friday, the Yorktown Lanes Hot Rod Rock 'n Bowl this Saturday, bridal shower Sunday afternoon and Horror of '59's final show opening for Daikaiju at the Beachland Sunday night. Then there are weddings, concerts, travelling and more weddings coming up through September. Whoa.

So, I have no idea how often I'm going to be updating this blog beyond the weekly weigh-ins. I like being able to hop on the computer Tuesday or Friday night to just update random stuff or post new recipes, but I don't know if that's being realistic. I guess I'll follow Josh Homme's advice and just go with the flow.

The Health Front

I upped the weights for my tricep strength training to 15 pounds. Yeah, not exactly badass. But I can't handle anything heavier at the moment without breaking form. And my arms are sore. Guess that's a good sign.

Current workout playlist (mixed tempo songs to fit with interval training sandwiched by warm-up and cool-down tunes):

"This Tornado Loves You" Neko Case
"Flaming Telepaths" Blue Oyster Cult
"Barracuda" Heart
"Never Let Me Down Again" Depeche Mode
"Be Aggressive" Faith No More
"Consoler of the Lonely" The Raconteurs
"What Love Is" Rocket From the Tombs
"Spellbound" Siouxsie & the Banshees
"Die, Die My Darling" The Misfits
"Dead Moon Night" Dead Moon
"Burning Beard" Clutch
"What Love Is" Rocket From the Tombs
"Panic Switch" Silver Sun Pickups (the only good song they have. This band needs to get rid of that mouth breather of a lead singer)
"To Parter" Butthole Surfers
"Sensual World" Kate Bush (this would make a great yoga song...if I did yoga)

The Dog Front

Our first week with Goji turned out fairly well. She was a bit nervous and maladjusted the first few days--growling at the in-laws and neighbors, barking at other dogs and men in general, chasing the kittehs, etc. However, she's settled in nicely now and has gone on play dates with other dogs and behaves on her walks. Bobzilla takes her to a park almost everyday,and gets in his exercise on the fitness trail with her. His legs are throbbing from the runs. I usually walk her about a mile (before and after work) everyday, as well, which helps get my heartrate up before the workouts. Who knew Goji would be such a great fitness tool!

The Chuck Front

I got custody of Chuck the rubber cock this weekend and showed him all the redneck delights that Dragway 42's Rock 'n Race had to offer. It was magical.

On the Scale Front

152.4 this morning. A miniscule loss, more like a maintain. That's cool, though. I've been faithful with the workouts and eating per usual, so the pendulum will eventually swing my way once again.

For Dina & Trish & other Floggers

Welcome to Cleveland!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 7/15/09 & A New Family Member!

Meet Goji, our new goggie!

We adopted this sweet 4 year-old pug/shepherd mix (i.e. mutt) from an outfit that rescued her from the county pound. They gassed her 4 puppies and she was next.

We are so lucky to have her. She's obedient, extremely affectionate, laid back and sickingly cute. Her dog farts practically smell like fresh-baked cookies, although I'm sure that will change once our honeymoon period is over. I can't wait to introduce her to a certain rubber chicken that should be arriving in the mail any second. *ahem*

Apparently, taking her on walks has boosted the weight loss. Scale said 152.6 this morning, down 1.8 pounds from last week. Cool.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

I Would Starve in the Wild

K, so I purchased a bottle of rabbit repellent and zealously sprayed the hell out of what remains of my "garden" while calling the rabbit every Jewish, Italian, Irish and East Cleveland name in the book. The spray smells like fermented taint, so it's gotta work.

Anyway, as I turn around to walk away, my foot almost slams down on this:

(shamelessly swiped from Danzig, if only for the sheer irony of someone named Danzig taking cute baby bunny pictures)


The bunny never ran away and instead cowered below me, looking up with those unnerving big baby bunny eyes. Dammit!

In the span of 90 seconds, I went from a raging Most Wanted on PETA's shitlist to a jelly-spined, baby-talking sucker who fed it the last of my organic baby carrots. This, knowing full well that I'm only inviting the entire bunny clan to make a bu-fay of my garden. And I wasn't the only one sickened by the lepus fever. Bobzilla was soon on the ground cooing and making kissy faces.

Darwin would be ashamed.

In other Ohio animal vs. garden news, an area 75-year old woman found a fawn ravaging her garden and beat it to death with a shovel. Flower bed = 1; Baby deer = 0

I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned from this.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-in: 7/8/2009 & Needing a Vacation from the Vacation

Well, Heavy Rebel was quite the experience. Four days of drunken debauchery with friends and strangers alike, set to some great music, was well worth the 1.4 pound gain on the scale this morning. Yup, I'm back up to 154.4, the same weight I've been since I started vacation season.

Oh sure, I ate my normal healthy way, and worked out at both hotel gyms. But, c'mon. Ain't no way a couple hours of exercise and healthy eating is going to negate the grapefruit juice & tequila. Or the Strongbow. Or wine. Or whiskey. Or many, many PBRs. Nope.

There's no way I can discuss everything that went on. Some PG-13 pics are uploaded here, for the curious:

Heavy Rebel Pictures

Before I lose my nerve, here's me in that bathing suit, in a most unflattering pose. Just keepin' it realz:

The water was ice cold. After this pic was taken, I squealed like a little girl and ran back to my hotel room for more libations and warm clothing.

And that's that. Things are now back to normal and I'm glad. These road trips and partying were reaching alarming levels.

After work, I gardened for 2 hours pulling weeds and hunting the bunny that destroyed almost all of my tomato plants and ate all of my thai basil. There will be blood. Blood meal, anyway, to repel the furry fiend.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Happy, Shiny Wednesday Weigh-In: 7/1/2009 and LENTIL SALAD!

Office fire drills gave me a mild case of the bitchies today, almost dampening my Heavy Rebel vibe. But after I got home and set to packing, cooking vaycay meals and doing final hotel bookings (Priceline massages my gambling pleasure spot), the blood pressure went down again.

Hobbes and Sebastian are a bit nervous, though. They know that when Mommy and Daddy fuss around the house and bring out the suitcases, that means that they are going on an extended visit to the grandparents. Again. *growl*

Tonight, I made a batch of gluten-free, vegan, organic lentil salad (mujadara). And, I'm not going to lie. It's all kinds of awesome. And cheap.

Here's the recipe, but I don't have time to calculate the actual nutritional value, so you're on your own:

1 cup dried lentils
2 large onions or 3 medium onions
1/2 tsp. Garam Masala
1/4 tsp. Cumin
1 1/2 cups of cooked brown rice (substitute canola oil for the butter to make it vegan)

Sort and rinse the lentils well. Put in medium saucepan and add enough water to cover the lentils by about 2 inches. Turn heat on high and boil for about 15 minutes.

While lentils are boiling, halve the onions and cut into medium thin slices. Sautee in a hot fry pan with about a tablespoon of canola oil (don't use olive oil since you're cooking at a high temperature). Basically, fry those onions until they are really dark brown, almost black. This is going to take you at least 15-20 minutes. The idea is to cook the onions until they are a dark carmelized paste.

Drain the lentils, add about another cup or so of fresh water and boil again until the lentils are tender. Add the onions, salt and pepper to taste (it's up to you how salty you want this...I didn't use exact measurements), garam masala and cumin. Cook for about another 5 minutes. Add in the rice and cook for another 5 minutes. The end result is this:

Yeah, it looks like mealy dog poo. But it tastes fantastic. It's got great contrasting textures and an umami taste--savory, sweet and a hint of smokiness and that something-something from the aromatic spices in the garam masala and cumin.

Serve the lentil salad warm or at room temperature over a bed of chopped romaine lettuce, cucumbers, red onions, sliced red bell pepper and tomatoes that have been tossed in a light lemon & olive oil dressing.

The dressing was pretty simple:

4 lemons, juiced (red wine vinegar works well as a replacement if the lemons are not your thing)
3/4 cup olive oil
2 cloves crushed garlic
2 teaspoons dried oregano
some chopped fresh mint if you have it, about 1/2 tablespoon or more
some salt
couple pinches of sugar to cut the acidity
ground black pepper

Wisk together to emolsify and voila:

This is so much better than fried starch and mechanically reclaimed chicken that's likely to be sold at the shindig.

Oh, and before I forget and post this tomorrow, giving anyone the impression that I might be scale dodging, I weighed in this morning at an even 153.00 pounds*. That's a 1.4 pound loss from last week. Put another way, that's 3 weeks' worth of Jack S**t's Half Pound Challenges. Call it paying it forward to compensate for the damage I'll be doing this weekend!

I've been working out strictly to music this week and will probably continue to do so in the near future. Video games and watching constant streams of Michael Jackson on all the morning shows couldn't raise my heart rate above 145, even during the peaks of my interval training.

*Sans waxing. No time to groom. Thank goodness that the bottom half of my swimsuit has a skirt edge!