21 Days Later....

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T10:56:00.000-04:00

On this most sacred of holidays (and Pickle's 9 month birthday), wishing ya'll a Happy Halloween.

I got no swag to offer as part of a give-away contest except for leftover Trick or Treat "fun-size" calorie bombs, but mad geek props go out to anyone who can guess the our costumes:

Gotta run. Pickle's first Trick or Treat outing is in 6 hours!

I'm Not Fat Yet.

2011-08-10T14:42:00.005-04:00

I didn't get fat again, despite popular assumptions about prolonged absences of bloggers in this particular community. *lolz* Current stats are on the sidebar (155.6 lbs).

My blog was looking pretty wrecked and it took me a while to figure out how to fix it so that the sidebar appeared where it should and whatnot. But I'z smart and I eventually figured it out. Go me.

Pickle turned SIX MONTHS old recently. Holy shit. Half a year. Seems like a lifetime, but what an amazing half year it has been. I can devote a whole blog to poop and boobs alone. Which I may do. But not now.

One thing about raising an infant is that time is limited and precious. "Thank you, Captain Obvious," right? It's not that I have no time, but I do have to spend it wisely. I have 90 minutes or so in the morning to get my daily shit together before I go into full on Working Mama Mode. That means I have two options:

1. Blog about how I don't have time to work out; or
2. Work out.

I chose Option 2. And the Work Out option works out. Even when Pickle gets up early in the morning, I have found ways to incorporate Mommyhood into my fitness regimen:

See? He works out (tummy time, rolling, playing) while I work out.

He is also useful as an extra set of weights.

I have so much more to blog about, but I don't have time. And these veggies and hummus sitting on my desk aren't going to eat themselves. I will still be popping in from time to time (who knows, maybe even more frequently than once every 4-5 months), but for now, ciao!

P.S. --I also had to change my side-bar "about me" to reflect the fact that I am no longer "30-something." Hello middle age, nice to meet ya!

P.S.S. (or is it P.P.S.?)--Hang in there, Lacey. He's in good hands and you'll be with him soon.

So, About My Resistance Bands....

2011-03-13T17:30:00.002-04:00

It turns out that the near-fatal encounter with my resistance bands wasn't so unusual or a result of user error.

The brand of resistance bands that I used, Fitness Gear purchased from Dick's Sporting Goods, has been recalled due to reports of the bands breaking and causing lacerations, amongst other things.

Figures.

Back in the Saddle

2011-03-11T09:20:00.006-05:00

This week, I returned to work from maternity leave. It was TUFF.

First of all, the Saturday before coming back, we found out that Pickle has a pretty severe milk protein allergy. I had reintroduced dairy into my diet, thinking that the Zantac was taking care of his reflux. That was a dumb mistake on my part. Now, for the next two weeks, he has to be on soy formula until the dairy clears my system and I can breastfeed him again. Soy formula is evil. It is mostly "corn syrup solids" and oil.

In the meantime, baby boy suffered from bad tummy distress. His normal newborn acne turned into angry red patches on his cheeks and neck. His poops...ick. Up through the night before returning for work, he was miserable. And so was I. I had a bad meltdown, worse than the normal hormonal baby blues, punishing myself for returning to work too early.

But we survived. I was a sad mess on Monday, calling home to Bobzilla every hour or so. He handled his new role as Stay at Home Dad ("SAHD") like a champ. The baby didn't break. And life went on.

There is one thing that hasn't been difficult: Working out.

Amazingly, Pickle has what closely resembles a feeding and sleeping schedule. He gets my ass out of bed by 5:00 or 6:00 a.m. He feeds and goes back down to sleep for another two hours. During the second morning snooze, I've been able to get my usual 60 minutes on the bike, walk the dog, feed the cats, take a shower, do my hair and makeup and pack things up for work. By the time he stirs from his sleep, I'm able and ready to focus on him until I leave and pass him off to Daddy. Hopefully, this will continue. I haven't been able to do my pre-pregnancy workout schedule of 90 minutes by including strength training. Still haven't touched the weights. Next week, I will try to fit the strength training in during the late afternoon/evening. I'm not going to kill myself, though. At least I'm getting some cardio in.

Since I've "sorta" returned to normal, I'll be posting and tracking my progress again.

My current weight is 157.4 pounds. I was 142 pounds pre-pregnancy, amounting to an approximate weight gain of 15 lbs.

I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to deal with my diet, if I make any changes at all. Breastfeeding has caused my appetite to go through the roof. I am ALWAYS hungry (and thirsty), and I eat obscene amounts of foods. About 80% of the food is healthy, thanks mostly to Bobzilla's homecooking. But I ain't gonna lie...I can tear a whole bag of tortilla chips up. And there were some milkshake and cheese binges that most likely triggered Pickle's bad dairy reaction last weekend. Since I need to be REALLY careful about making sure I'm eating enough to sustain breastfeeding, I'm not going to be too concerned about it for now and will just wing it until the scale sets off alarm bells.

There is no doubt that eating healthy pre- and post-pregnancy, and staying physically fit, has helped us create and grow a healthy, thriving spawn. Pickle started smiling and cooing at 4 weeks, which is considered an advanced development.

Pickle is also holding up his head for long periods at a stretch, and is growing like a mo fo. He is alert and intensely observant during the day hours. This week, he's learned to play face games by copying faces we make at him.

He still hates baths, though. It's like a horror show when his toes even graze the bath water.

Still cannot believe we grew this thing:

Post-Partum Goings On

2011-02-18T12:46:00.005-05:00

Cannot believe it's been two and a half weeks since the baby bomb. It has been a blur of sleepless nights, crying (mom and baby), breastfeeding woes, doctor's appointments, nursing moms meetings, snuggles, baby kisses, book readings, tummy time, projectile pooping and golden showers.

Breastfeeding did NOT get off to a good start. During Vincent's first week home, my milk did not come in. Within 2 days, baby was down more than 10% of his body weight and dehydrated. A lactation specialist hooked us up with a feeding tube that, while well-intended, undermined the breastfeeding process and caused Vincent bad reactions to formula (first milk, then soy) and then gas from binge-feeding off the tube. It was hell for him, especially.

Thankfully, things turned around beginning mid-last week. My milk came in, thanks to daily oatmeal and copious amounts of fenugreek pills that I take, which makes me smell like maple syrup all the time and gives me a constant dull headache. He hasn't had formula supplements since Sunday. *whew*

He's been colicky, but we noticed that he's crying less and settling down more now that he's off the formula and strictly on breastmilk. I don't think this is a coincidence, given Bobzilla's family history of soy, corn and wheat allergies.

Now, his weight is back up. He's gained over a pound and grew over an inch during the last two weeks. And he is doing better every day. Filling out and chunking up. Looking more adorable. He's vocalizing more and can almost lift his head more consistently.

We haven't had visitors yet because of the instability. The lack of social contact is giving me a complex. I actually got excited to go with Bob to get the car's oil changed. Even wore earrings.

Yesterday, we took Vincent out for a run on the jogging stroller, along with the dog. It was beautiful out (read: gray, windy and 60 degrees) and I was chomping at the bit to get my running shoes and MOVE. Well as soon as we started running on the jogging trail, my rushed return to physical fitness was poorly thought out. My uterus felt like it was going to drop out and I peed myself. Ok then. I guess there's some truth to the whole 6 week post-partum recovery period.

Weight wise, I just weighed myself for the first time the other day and saw that I'm 13 pounds heavier than I was pre-pregnancy. I cannot fit in my size 6 jeans, but am comfortably hanging in my size 10 Levis and yoga pants. I ain't complaining. As it is, I think I'm losing weight from the breastfeeding alone. Plus, I think half of that gain is boob weight. I am practically Tura Satana proportions at the moment (RIP, Tura). I am ravenous and thirsty constantly. But, man, do I miss my workouts. Six weeks cannot get here soon enough.

Still, in spite of all of this, I would not change a thing. Not. A. Single. Thing.

Our little parasite is worth it all. Every day I look forward to new experiences with him, to giving him kisses, washing his face, changing his clothes, singing to him, wearing him in the Moby around the house, and watching him at his 6:oo a.m. feeding (it's the funniest thing ever....he throws both of his hands back like claws, bugs out his eyes, opens his mouth wide and then dives face-first into the boob).

He's my everything.

Introducing.....

2011-02-03T09:52:00.006-05:00

Vincent William Christopher.

He was born on January 31st, 2011 at 12:39 p.m. after over 20 hours of a long, difficult labor and 10 minutes of a kickass, sweet delivery. He came out fast and hard into his Daddy's arms, just 20 minutes before a C-section deadline.

He weighs 7 lbs, 6 oz. and is 21 inches long. He is a tall drink 'o baby!

He is lovely and amazing. No?

Home Stretch: Bring on the Chocolate and Bacon

2010-12-27T19:58:00.006-05:00

I have the best excuse in the world for not blogging for 8 weeks. Really, this pregnancy card gives me a free pass to do (or not do) anything, short of a 2nd degree felony. So why not play it, right?

This baby is going to make his entrance in less than a month. Less than a month. Am I ready? Probably not, but Bobzilla and I have sure worked hard to get ready. Multiple childbirth and childcare classes. Furniture set up. Clothes and bedding washed. Baby gear acquired and in place.

It helps that we have been the recipients of such overwhelming generosity by family, friends, clients, associates, even strangers. Otherwise, we'd be less than broke.

The baby shower was...wow:

This remains a very healthy pregnancy. Perfect blood pressure and weigh gain. Baby Vincent is strong, healthy and active. He's developing at the rate he should be. I'm kind of annoyed that my "advanced maternal age" is the reason I have to be strapped to a monitor for an hour every week, but Vincent's strong and healthy heartbeat is the sweetest "fuck you" that this old lady can give to those over-zealous geezer haters at the midwifery department.

I'm eating healthy, well, ok, probably 70% of the time. But give me a friggin' break. I have to eat more carbs and, well, when baby wants chocolate and cheese, he gets chocolate and cheese.

Still staying active. Here's what an 8+ month pregnant woman of "advance maternal age" looks like doing cardio:

...OK, you know how I was talking about how generous everyone's been? Just now, a friend showed up at our front door bearing bags of baby clothes. Sweet! I swear, when you become a first time parent, it's like you're automatically initiated into this elite club that you never knew existed before spawning. I likey.

I'm now at 36 weeks, about 9 months knocked up.

Final countdown!

Current craving: Spicy hot cocoa. Thankfully, the generosity of a friend has come through once more.

Happy New Year!

28 Weeks Later

2010-11-02T18:59:00.014-04:00

It's been, what, 6 weeks since my last blog post? Despite my plan to slow down in October, things have been everything but slow and casual.

Here's the breakdown:

I lost my mom. It's ok, tho. We knew it was coming. She was elderly, suffered from dementia and had been sick for a while. I said goodbye to her two years ago.
I lost a good friend suddenly. That was not so easy to take.
Stupid gestational diabetes screening threatened to derail my natural childbirth plans. I blew a 180 on the first sugar test. 180!! So I had to carb load for 3 days, (150 grams a day!), fast for 12 hours and do the 3 hour blood sugar test. And, go figure, I passed the 3 hour test. I no has diabeetus! But that time period in between the first and second blood test put me in an emotional tizzy, as I was worried that I was diabetic and would be put on the C-section train.

While I'm relieved things turned out ok, what a flawed testing system! It demonstrates how eating healthy will actually result in a false high blood sugar reading, causing unnecessary follow up work, unrealistic dietary changes and anxiety. After all, how else is the body supposed to react when it's forced to ingest 50 grams of glucose in one shot, when it is not used to even half of that amount of carbs/sugar in any 12 hour period? And how ironic that one way to pass the sugar test is to ingest an assload of carbs/sugar. Kind of calls into question the whole "low carb" way of eating.
Bobzilla started his own film blog. This means that we've been going to movie screenings about twice a week, usually at 7:30 at night on a school night.
Marathon shopping for maternity & baby room stuff. It took a week of driving all over Cleveland just to find the right dresser. We could probably stand to be less picky.
Speaking of the baby room, we spent 3-4 days moving around furniture, baby proofing, packing and hauling stuff in the attic to make room for baby.
Sis had her baby!

Xavier arrived after only, like, 5 minutes of push time. I hope I have a super vag like her come delivery time.
Bob and I went on our last "babymoon," staying an extended weekend with my BFF in the Pen Mar blue ridge mountains. Le sigh. We all entered the annual Pumpkin Cooking Contest, using recipes we were perfecting since late summer.

Bob's pumpkin pizza took third place!

My pumpkin & cream cheese baklava took second place!

Bridgie's pumpkin & mango curry was delicious, but did not place. She got skunked.
Two Halloween weddings in one day. Whew! One of them was a costume reception. Here we are, as Rosemary (and her baby) and the Devil (proud papa):
Reconnecting with lots of good friends. Ben. Alan and Margie and their uber babies. Christie and Tony. And LOTS of visits with Vincent's grandparents, who are probably more excited than we are. However, Bob suspects they are just using us to have some one-on-one time with Goji, who is really their favorite grandchild.
Zombie walk. Again.

And it doesn't look like things are going to let up this month, either. Just this week alone, we are busy every day. We start our first weekly childbirth class tomorrow night. They're 3-hour sessions after work. Ugh. More movie screenings. Funeral on Friday, followed by a memorial on Saturday. I also have to find time to cook some GF desserts for the baby shower/Hell-has-frozen-over party, which--holy shit--is this coming Sunday!

Sure glad we did absentee voting this election.

And after that? Bi-weekly prenatal appointments, more baby classes (CPR, breastfeeding, daddy bootcamp, etc.), the holidays and BAM! Baby.

BABY UPDATE:

I am now in my third trimester, at 28 weeks. I can't believe we're almost 7 months along now! So far, this has been a healthy pregnancy. Vincent's growth is right on target, and his heart rate is going strong. Blood pressure is excellent, as are the bodily fluid tests and misc. prenatal checkups. No edema/swelling or bloat. I've now gained around 18 pounds and am steadily gaining a pound a week.

I still maintain 90 minutes of fitness every morning, one hour of cardio + 30 minutes of strength/core exercises. In fact, I think the regular exercising has really helped during this pregnancy. While I definitely poop out at times, my energy level has been pretty good. The special prenatal core exercises I follow on Babyfit will, hopefully, prime this body for some effective and efficient baby popping in a couple months.

My mood is strong, and I actually *like* carrying this parasite around. The belly and its jerky, jumpy, squirmy contents are an endless source of fascination for me.

Downsides? My hair is growing wacky and fast. I've given up on regular haircuts and have accepted bad hairdays as the norm. I pee a LOT. Especially at night, so straight 7-8 hour sleep is a distant memory. Heartburn is practically constant, with the baby pushing up against my stomach. Gum and Tums help some. I just can't eat a full meal except on a few occasions. Instead, I nosh here and there constantly.

I'd like to say I will get on top of all my blog following, but I just don't know if that's being realistic. While I still read many fitness and health blogs (waves at Shelley, Cammy, Trish, TJ, Patrick, Ariel, Fat Daddy, Bobbie) I am spending most of what little free time is left hanging out at Babyfit and reading baby books (4 of them are currently stacked on the toilet tank).

Current food craving(s): Peanut butter with anything.

Oh yeah, about that ultrasound from 3 weeks ago...

2010-09-18T09:07:00.004-04:00

We're having a boy.

His name is Vincent Christopher. Just don't call him "Vinnie." That's too Jersey Shore for my tastes. *shudders*

All genetic screening tests came back about as good as they could get, with like a 1 in a gazillion probability that he has an abnormality. His heart is strong, over 145 bpm. He is extremely active--I started feeling him kick and squirm from the outside of my tummy at 19 weeks. Bobzilla felt him move last night. *gushes*

He has both brain hemispheres, all organs and is growing ahead of his gestational age. So despite my initial concerns about not gaining enough weight, he's getting what he needs and is thriving.

Speaking of weight...I am now 10 pounds heavier! About friggin' time. Had a growth spurt over the last 10 days or so. In just the last 3 weeks, I gained over 5 pounds!

And the belly keeps expanding. I now use it as a laptop rest. The laptop sometimes jiggles from the baby kicks. *lolz*

My sister, who is due in THREE DAYS, tells me that her boy is so fidgety and powerful that he can steer the car. Yikes!

Physically, I feel better than I have since early May. I am less tired overall and am more mentally focused.

On the other hand, my stamina for physical activity has gone down. I still work the bike an hour every morning, but not at the same speed or intensity because I overheat quicker. Bobzilla and I go to at least one show a week, and standing for more than 30 minutes or so is now a real drain. We often leave early, or I pace the club looking for a place to sit and sip my club soda and lime. We went to see an old band of his last Thursday, where I sat on the barstool all night and kept watching the clock wanting to go home. I like seeing our friends, but I feel less sociable because of this. Don't think I can keep doing that sort of thing and may be staying home a lot more beginning October. Which is fine. It'll give me time to engage in wacky nesting behavior that all the mommy friends tell us will hit this trimester. And catch up on Breaking Bad--I really want to watch that show!

I can't wait for my nephew Xavier to make his introduction early next week! My sis has an induction scheduled for the 21st. Wow. An appointment to have a baby. Craziness.

This week's food craving: Watermelon. Still.

Baking This Baby Takes FOREVER!

2010-08-26T11:24:00.003-04:00

See this?

That's my second breakfast* I eat every morning. It's mixed fruit (cantaloupe, strawberry and red grapes), low fat yogurt and *gulp* wheat bran and wheat germ. Yeah, looks yummy, don't it? This concoction, while certainly not visually appealing, is pure baby fuel. And the added hippie dippy grains have saved my ass. Literally. These pregnancy hormones + the iron in the prenatal vitamins will plug me up for days if I don't increase my daily fiber at least triple fold.

Now that I'm 4 & 1/2 months preggers, I'm happy to report I have GAINED some poundage. I'm now 3-4 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. Weee! And who'da thought I'd be happy about gaining weight? Being pregnant is perverse.

There was some minor baby drama when I got a call from my doctor's office Tuesday, telling me that they took the wrong blood test last week and needed another blood draw stat! Little background: Because of my "advanced maternal age," I'm doing the whole genetic sequential screening, which requires two rounds of blood tests. The blood must be drawn during certain stages of the pregnancy. In this case, the test that they should have done was supposed to occur before the end of my 17th week for optimal accuracy. We were now past that. FUCK! The call came while I was at a client's house. Great timing. I had to rush from the meeting to get to the hospital lab before it closed so that they could get the blood draw in time to ship off, testing done and results back in advance of the next ultrasound. Do I have to tell you that I was a raging, hormonal, blubbering, mess by the time they jabbed me with the needle? Somebody will pay for this emotional fire drill. Oh yes.

So, about that next ultrasound....it's scheduled for next Tuesday, at which time we will find out whether the parasite is going to be a boy or girl. The Chinese gender test I took indicated it's a girl. We'll see.

Exercise is still the same. Well, except for the fact that another resistance band snapped on me, this time almost taking out the TV. I get it now. I don't need to be told a third time. I'm back to the free weights.

I have this insatiable craving for hummus, hot sauce and grass. Mixed together.

*First breakfast is a power smoothie comprised of carrot juice, orange juice, more low fat yogurt, low fat milk, and pineapple. Followed by a handful of almonds. Zing!

Gratuitous Belly Pics: Fifteen Weeks

2010-08-05T20:30:00.007-04:00

Isn't it funny how I would die from embarrassment to show my belly just a few months ago, but now I'm sticking it out like a diamond engagement ring?

Anyway, here I am at fifteen weeks:

Of course, Goji got in on the action. Total camera whore.

I swear, this belly popped out overnight Sunday. Last week, I was wearing size 6. Now, my old size 10 dress slacks are snuggish. This parasite is undoing almost a year's worth of Jillian Shred and ab work in a matter of days.

Kinda cool, tho.

Babyfying This Body

2010-07-27T17:27:00.002-04:00

This pregnancy is causing me to relearn eating and fitness habits, and I ain't liking it!

The workout changes aren't so bad. Dr. Giddy (a definite misnomer) told me to nix all the ab/core workouts and weight lifting anything over 10 lbs. Ok. Fine. That buys me about 15 minutes each day. I can deal.

But the eating. Shit. That has been the major ass pain. Granted, when a pregnant woman is eating for two, she should not literally "eat for two." Rather, she should be ingesting an extra 300-500 calories a day. That's not a lot, really. But for me, I'm just having a hella time with regular food intake. Including the extra calories seems a task requiring herculean efforts (and a strong stomach).

There have been no puke parties, but I'm definitely doing this strange love/hate tango with food. I'll want to eat, then after a few bites I get the sudden urge to leave the table and lie down from the perceived lead ball I just put in my belly. I'll raid Bobzilla's ice cream, but then put the pint back in the freezer before my tongue turns cold.

Consequently, I've gained zero weight. In fact, I lost about 5 pounds the first trimester. The baby bump is getting bigger and the milk jugs are swelling. This baby is being FED. Unfortunately, I'm kinda wasting away here. Now, there have been some days where I could actually eat like a food pervert. For instance, Bobzilla and I did our annual trip to Geneva-On-The-Lake. I ate greasy carnival fries, a cheeseburger, a DOUGHNUT, and some tacos. Yet, I lost almost a pound the following day. So friggin' surreal.

My doc said this is normal and not to worry and that I'll start putting on weight now that I'm in the second trimester. Really, I should be lucky, since friends have had hellish morning sickness that makes my experience pale by comparison. But do they have freaky dreams about giving birth to cats and breastfeeding them? Maybe I should just switch my prenatal vitamins.

My Biggest Fear Came True Again!

2010-07-24T11:31:00.006-04:00

Well, it finally happened. My resistance band snapped while I was doing strength training. This pretty much sucks, because I've gotten used to the convenience and freedom of the bands.

It also sucks cuz it hurt! The band whipped across my arm while I was doing military presses:

This is the second time I had a resistance band mishap, the first time being slapped in the face when it came undone from my feet. While I'm lucky I didn't lose an eye, I'm not sure there should be a third accident, so I may have to retire the bands.

Fitness can be a dangerous activity. Stay safe out there, kids!

Update...Yowza.

2010-07-20T22:23:00.001-04:00

Wednesday Weigh In 6/...oh, wait. Nevermind.

2010-06-23T20:06:00.006-04:00

Not having to report weekly weigh-in results has un-tethered me to this blog. I haven't posted in, what, 3 weeks?

I've been leading a pretty intense jury trial which finally concluded today with the verdict, which took the jurors 2 days to deliberate. The result? A King Solomon where both sides got something. Now, I have about 3 weeks worth of backed-up work piled on my desk that I had to put aside while doing the trial gig. No big thang.

Staying fit and eating right during these hectic last few weeks was a bit of a challenge, but doable. Had to cut back my workouts to an hour each morning (hello, five a.m.!) and stuck with less-than-perfect cafeteria fare offered at the courthouse for lunch. All in all, I did pretty well. I'm actually below 138 pounds, which was a bit of a shocker to me.

Getting new suits in appropriate sizes was the bigger challenge. I hate spending money on clothes. Hate it. Most suits retailed at about $150 on clearance and I just couldn't cave. The single size 10 jacket I have hanging on my office coat rack wasn't going to get me through each day and it was looking pretty sad on me. I did have to buy a new jacket for $70 on clearance, and it brought tears to my eyes. Thankfully, Bobzilla took me to some consignment shops later and I scored a never-worn Ann Taylor suit, dress blouse and 2 jackets for about what I paid for that damn $70 dollar coat. Oh, and they're all size 6's. Yay me.

In between all the trial work, Bob and I snuck away for a 3-day retreat at my BFF's fabulous estate in the Maryland Blue Ridge Mountains. We tried Ethiopian cuisine for the first time. Loved it. As leftovers the next morning? Not so much. Miz BFF and I share a passion for vintage clothes and we spent Saturday night modeling some crazy 60's and 70's fashion, acting the fools.

Bobzilla got me this outrageous dress as a (23rd!) anniversary present earlier this month. The hippie chick in the bodice? She's showing nip. Both of 'em. No lie. I swear, this pattern must've also been used as wallpaper:

I need the perfect shoes to go with this dress. Preferably some shiny white babies with a chunky heel. Or maybe white boots.

My garden is growing out of control. Sadly, due to the unseasonably warm weather, the broccoli bolted before it even grew full size. On the upside, the tomatillos, lettuce and the prized jolokia pepper plant are thriving. There's gonna be some good eatin' in the house pretty soon.

My other BFF just ran her first 4k last weekend and I'm proud as a mama. It was freakin' hot that day, but she still pulled it off in 45 minutes. A-may-zing!

And Bob? Holy shit, he's been hitting the bike and weights practically every morning, on top of his runs with the dog after he takes me to work. What's significant about this is that he just does it without making a big announcement about it, like it's a noteworthy event. He's treating it like an everyday routine now. Kick. Ass.

In totally unrelated fit 'n healthy news, we've been watching the TV series The IT Crowd on Netlix Instant View. It may just be better than The Office. Perhaps it's because we relate much more intimately to the show given our own geek backgrounds.

Best Friggin' Contest. Ever.

2010-06-03T20:14:00.003-04:00

Wanna suck Altoids through crazy straws? If so, click here.

Wednesday Weigh-In 6/2/2010: The Final Edition

2010-06-02T21:41:00.002-04:00

I never set an official "goal" for myself when I first set my mind to lose weight 3 or so years ago. I liked the idea of 140 pounds, but never put a target on that number. At around 250 pounds, I was happy at the idea of just going down to a size 16, ideally a size 14. 140 pounds has been a magical number for me. There's no logical reason for it. I just remember weighing 14o in jr. high/early high school and that I kept getting heavier ever since. And 140 seems reasonable. It's not, like, an anorexic size for someone of my 5'7" body. It's a solid, healthy zone. Yeah, 140 was pretty much the golden grail for me.

So, I finally made it to 140.0 on the beloved Tanita scale. Finally.

Now what?

Well, not much will be changing. I'm still going to work out 6 days a week, the usual program of 1 hour cardio/30 minutes strength training (different muscles on alternating days). As I head into my 40th year, this amount of exercise is about right for maintenance.

I don't think my eating is going to change. For so long now, I've been eating what I want in reasonable portions. And what I want happens to be lots of home-cooked meals made from whole foods, lean meats, veggies, nuts, cheese and fruits. I also have a serving of gelato every night. Of course, I still eat out and don't really fuss too much about what's on the menu because I only eat half of what I order anyway. I don't count calories anymore. I got this. It's ingrained.

I'm not worried about losing weight anymore, and I doubt I'm going to lose any more pounds, although I promised myself I would cut back a little on the workouts if I still lost weight. That's not likely to happen though. Getting to 140 has been a slow and easy landing. This is a comfortable place for my body to settle down.

Just to make sure that all departments in my brain are on the same page in terms of maintenance, I'm going to stop posting my weekly weigh-ins. I do still weigh myself every day, but the concept of "reporting" a weight every week places undue emphasis on weight-loss, which is not the mode I'm in anymore. If, in the future, I start noticing gains or losses of 5 pounds or more, then I'll record it and adjust the food and fitness accordingly.

And so, that's that.

I've been a bad blogger lately in that I'm rarely posting comments on anyone else's blog and just being an overall lazy bitch. I could blame work and hectic real life, but really, I do that enough already. So, I'll just acknowledge my lameness and leave it at that.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/26/2010 & Crazy Train

2010-05-26T20:59:00.005-04:00

140.6.

I'm hanging on to this blog by my fingernails while the weight of real life is strapped firmly around my ankles, pulling me the other direction.

Work, work, work is driving me insane and sapping all of my free time. Well, except for the exercise. Gotta always make time for that. For example:

I'm supposed to be leaving for an appointment at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow. To accomplish this, I initially resigned myself to missing my first weekday workout in months. *gasp* But I came to my senses and have instead decided to just get up at 5:00 a.m. and fit the workout in that way. Yup, I'm totally sane here.

Wednesday Weigh-In 5/19/2010 and BRB

2010-05-19T12:21:00.002-04:00

140.4 pounds.

Bob had dental surgery Monday to get a new implant to replace the broken one. They gave him 12 shots of novocain (no shit!) and had to graft some skin from the roof of his mouth. Poor Bob! But he hasn't taken even one vicodin. What a manly man.

Still working out per usual. Still eating and drinking what I want, but with common sense.

I heart the new laptop now. Just need time to actually enjoy it.

Back to depositions after lunch.

Bye for now!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/12/2010 and Yay for Technology. No, really. Yay.

2010-05-12T22:19:00.003-04:00

141.2 el-bees.

I have been in 'n out of the internet loop for the last few days as we make another 'puter transition. Got a new laptop, yes I did. Cheap. But what ain't cheap are the unexpected upgrades you have to make with the upgrade. In this case, the new software and printer to make sweet love to the Windows 7 operating system. Or is it Windows that does the screwing?

Anyway, I'm about 90% back to normal. And I learned that computer stress is no longer a food/alcohol/bennies trigger. Yay for exercise!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/5/10 & Dip Me In Honey And Throw Me To Anne Klein

2010-05-07T07:09:00.006-04:00

Scale was at 141.6 lbs. Sooo close to permanent maintenance.

Regarding clothes shopping, I have HAD IT with most stores (Kohls, Penney's, etc.). Why does everything have to be a pregnancy shirt with hideous patterns? Reconnecting with vintage and consignment shops for clothes (which I will blog about. Some day.) has proven to be at least a temporary salvation. For example, this awesome Anne Klein denim skirt for $8. Yeah, that's right. And I couldn't even find a denim skirt at Kohls. Just "skorts." Ick.

But even more kickass? This baby is a size 6. SIX!

With room to spare.
Maybe it's vanity sizing, but I'm not ashamed to take a bite from that apple.

*BLOGGING BULLETIN*

Tricia, the undisputed Sultana of Snark & Wit, is on her way to amassing 300 followers. While I admit to posting this in the hopes of boosting my chances of scoring the goodies she's giving away, her blog is most certainly worthy of more exposure. If you haven't already, check her out and subscribe to her blog. You'll be hooked almost instantly, and it won't hurt a bit.

Wednesday Weigh-In 4/28/10 & How Much is Too Much or Not Enough?

2010-04-30T11:12:00.009-04:00

Posting Wednesday weigh-ins on Friday now. Getting better. I'm hanging on to this blog by a thread lately. Anyway, weighed in at 142.00, about a half-pound loss. No big whoop.

Zombie Walk was, as always, a big party of blood, booze and brains. Our zombie destroya' team double-tapped practically half of the 500+ ghouls, which ain't half bad. Here we are refueling and reloading:

Me, Meg and Mariah

This was the team logo I designed for our clothes. ZWAT...lolz:

WORKOUT UPDATES

Since the beginning of April, I have done a major overhaul of my daily workout routine. Jillian has been shelved, sadly. As much as I loved indulging my Jillian girl-crush and taking on the challenge of completing all levels of the Shred, the benefits did not outweigh some issues. The big drawback is the pounding my knees took. Plyometric training is the foundation of The Shred and Blast Fat/Boost Metabolism: Jump Squats. Rock Stars. You get the idea. While I felt like a badass doing them, I was regularly humbled post-workout by the knee pain that would set in. I had about as much difficulty navigating stairs as I did when I was running.

But not all of the Jillian moves are so easily disposable. Walking pushups, boxing with handweights, and other upper body moves she employs are sure keepers. So, I incorporate them into a new workout plan that I devised and will post later this weekend since I forgot to email it to myself before I left for the office. *slaps self*

Between eliminating plyometrics/intertal training from my daily workout regimen and going back to old-fashioned cardio and reading Merry's blog post recently asking the question How Much Cardio Do You Do?, I got to thinking about how much exercise we really need to get and stay healthy.

Currently, I workout 90 minutes every morning, 6 days a week: 30 minutes strength training followed by 60 minutes of cardio on the bike. Is this too much, not enough, or just right?

The answer depends, I guess, on the type of cardio and a person's age and weight range. The guvment chimes in that adults need at least 150 minutes of exercise every week to maintain good health. Kids/young adults need more, about an hour every day. That is just for maintenance.

As we get older, the amount of minimum exercise goes up. The esteemed Dr. Gupta has cited authority that at least an hour every day is necessary to maintain weight and fend off weight gain. The same amount is recommended for overweight women who are trying to lose weight.

The hour-a-day recommendation mirrors that cited by The Institute of Medicine (click on the internal link on that page to read the full report for free). Not just 60 minutes of any activity, but 60 minutes of vigorous exercise that is in addition to what you normally do day-to-day. So, housecleaning, wrangling kids, and laundry don't count. This is just to maintain healthy weight. For the obese or overweight, while an hour a day is great, you still need to include calorie restrictions in the diet. On the other hand, if you restrict calories, but only walk or exercise 15-30 minutes a day, it still might not be enough for long-term weight gain.

Applying this to my own experience, in the beginning I lost some weight biking only 20 minutes for 3 days a week. But then the weight loss would stop after 20 or so pounds. I increased biking to half hour then 40 minutes 5 days a week. Again, I lost some weight but quickly hit a wall again, even when restricting calories. Long-term, effective weight loss did not happen for me until I upped the cardio to an hour a day. I'm finally at my goalish weight, but does that mean I can scale back? Given my age and weight stats over the last 4 months, probably not. I'm maintaining at an hour a day, with healthy eating.

As for plyometric or interval training, this has become somewhat of a holy grail for those looking to reduce the amount of time devoted to exercising, the theory being that if you work harder for shorter periods of time, you'll achieve the same result. "Get the benefits of 60 minutes of exercise in only 20 minutes!" Really? The effectiveness of interval training remains the subject of much debate, and I'm not convinced that it works over time, especially given that higher-endurance workouts can increase the risk of injury, especially for those of us nearing, at or past middle age.

I tried intervals, loved it, but noticed that I really didn't lose much weight, if any, on an interval/plyometric program. While I sweated my ass off, there were no real results to report on the scale that were significantly different from what I achieved doing traditional cardio for an hour. On the other hand, my physical endurance increased, my muscles definitely strengthened and I lost inches. No small benefit there. But on the other other hand, the pain and injuries around the knees proved too much for me to continue. So in other words, this type of exercise depends on the person and his or her ability to maintain proper form. If it works for you, it works for you.

Developing muscle strength is nonetheless important, so rather than jump around like a kindergarten spaz, upping low-impact strength training seems to be a viable option. Thus the additional half hour of weight training each day. My new fitness goal is to lift my own body weight via chin up or pull up.

Really, everybody should be able to do this in the event of some Poseiden Adventure-type disaster so that we can pull ourselves up and out of a capsized ship or some shit.

Wednesday Weigh-In 4/21/2010 and Gonna Kill Some Zombies--BRB

2010-04-24T10:09:00.003-04:00

Wednesday I was down a little over a pound and a half, to 142.6 lbs.

Just a quick check-in, and them I'm outtie. This is my birthday weekend and today is the semi-annual ZOMBIE WALK, the funnest way to get in one's fitness. This time around, a small group of us are storming the walk as a zombie destroyer team. Ahhh...so much better than the NBA playoffs.

Hope everyone stays alive this weekend!

Wednesday Weigh-In 4/14/2010: The Late Late Late Edition

2010-04-18T22:15:00.007-04:00

Wednesday, weighed in at 144.4 lbs. Down, what, half a pound or something? Does weight loss even matter any more now that I'm focusing more on strength training? No. But, I should probably still keep a record of my weight, what with accountability and all. Still, it's hard to resist the extreme reactions with a loss or gain. It shouldn't matter anymore. I'm slowly coming around to my emotional separation from the scale and adopting this new way of thinking.

I'm so late posting this because a) Tax Day. Last minute fire drills with the accountant had me sweating late Wednesday, but I'm happy to report that at least my '09 taxes are paid AND I took care of all of my estimated '10 taxes. For the self-employed, that is a "big deal."But even more importantly, b) it was Bobzilla's 40th Birthday!!

There was much planning and side schemes with a few friends to ensure that Bob's entrance into middle age was memorable. Here was the flyer I made a few months ago that sums up this weekend's plans (yeah, that's Bob as a kid, enjoying his passion--music. Probably Captain and Tenille. Maybe the Statler Bros.):

His band was Gimme Dat Shoe (local Clevelanders who grew up watching Superhost on TV will totally get that). They were awesome, as well as the other bands.

The highlight was Bob's birthday spanking. I went pretty easy on him compared to the other spankers.:

Here is the fertility painting featuring Godzilla, Frankenstein and Tura Satana that Lacey so lovingly painted for Bob:

Aside from the old man jokes and the gag gifts of Depends and Bengay, I am overjoyed to see him reach this rite of passage. When I was young, I always wondered what it would be like to "grow old" with him, not knowing what that really meant. I'm still not 100% sure where aging will find us, but I'm happy to put our 20's and 30's behind us and experience a new stage of life. Plus, he has managed to strike the perfect balance between maintaining maturity and stumbling around in adolescent oblivion. I love and respect and adore and worry about this man:

Wednesday Weigh-In: 4/7/2010 and I've Got Some Nice Garbanzos!

2010-04-07T19:35:00.006-04:00

145.2. More of the same, more or less. There was no Easter cheatin' by way of chocolate eggs or bunnies or copious amounts of ham. I did share half a rotisserie chicken with Bobzilla, and our dessert was a GF strawberry shortcake--I supplied the fresh organic berries and homemade whipped cream, Mama Zilla supplied the GF cake. There is no shame in that.

My womanly cycle finally returned earlier this week in all its bizarrely gory glory, and Bob is getting excited about upcoming baby-making exercises. File that under TMI.

During one of our mega-shopping trips to Whole Foods, I bagged about 5 pounds of dried organic chickpeas with the idea we were going to make a lot of hummus and Indian food. BTW, once you go cooked-from-scratch chickpeas, you never go back to canned. Anyway, three months later and there is still about 3 pounds of chickpeas hanging around. Today I improvised and came up with a vegan chickpea salad that I could have for lunch. And it was no less than awesome. Even Bobzilla liked it, going for second dips after the first taste.

It is kinda, sorta like traditional chickpea salad, but I added some tahini to give it a creamy-but-vegan texture and generous amounts of cayenne pepper because its compulsory in our household.

Here's the recipe for...um, what shall I call it? Spicy Mediterranean Chickpea Salad? Sounds bland. Garbanzo Glee? Nope.

Anyway, here it is:

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup dried chick peas, soaked overnight

1 green bell pepper, finely diced

1 small or ½ large white or red onion, finely diced

2 medium roma tomatoes, diced

small handful flat leaf or curly parsley

2 small or 1 large clove garlic, crushed

1 tsp kosher salt

juice 1 lemon

2 TB Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1/2 TB tahini

1/8 tsp ground cumin

1/8 tsp cayenne pepper (I'd use more)

Ground black pepper, about 6-7 twists on the grinder

Drain chickpeas and thoroughly rinse. Put chickpeas in medium saucepan and add fresh cold water to pan, topping the beans by about 2 inches. Add a generous amount salt and boil. Reduce to simmer, cover and cook for at least 1 hour or until beans are tender and divine. More more water may need to be added during the cooking process, depending on how thirsty the beans are, so keep an eye on them.

While beans are cooking, chop up all vegetables, garlic and parsley and throw it all into large mixing bowl. In small mixing bowl, whisk together lemon juice, tahini, oil, salt, pepper and other spices.

Once beans are cooked, drain and rinse with cold water until warmish. Add beans to vegetable bowl. Pour dressing over top and toss until well-mixed. Adjust salt, pepper and spices to suit personal taste. Toss/stir each time before serving to properly distribute dressing.

Optional:

Add finely chopped jalapeno, cukes, kamut or cooked brown rice, feta cheese and/or olives.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 3/31/10 and Up Up and Down Down

2010-04-01T20:02:00.002-04:00

I've been so caught up getting crap out of the way to enjoy this 3 day weekend,that I pushed off doing my Wednesday report. Realizing it's now Thursday night, I had to force myself away from playing God of War III to be "responsible." *rolls eyes*

I had been doing the Shred for so long that some parts of it are ingrained in my head, like a bad earworm. Yesterday, I weighed in at 150.00, which is about a half pound gain from the prior week. Immediately, I thought of that part on Level III of The Shred where you're doing the walking planks on the second go 'round while Jillian chants "...and UP UP and DOWN DOWN and UP UP and DOWN DOWN..." Yup, that's me. So what of this gain? It could be water weight. It could be muscle gain from increased strength training, it could be last weekend's Amish getaway where we spent the entire time in a hot tub eating cheese and drinking grossly sweet Amish wine , or a combination of everything. What it ain't is something I should concern myself with. But that's not to say that I don't anyway. Stupid scale head games.

Oh, about that strength training, I found some great new (or rather, new to me) videos on Spark People that have been added to my morning workouts:

1. Crunchless abs! I friggin love this workout, and so does my back.

2. Fun with resistance bands. Now, I don't follow this whole video. However, Coach Nicole does an informative demo of how to do rows and chest flies with bands, which I have worked into my regular strength training regimen.

Tomorrow, we're off for a picnic and romp in the park with the doggy. Then a drive-in movie later on. Yup, it's drive-in season! We're going to milk this good weather as much as we can, since it'll probably snow again next week.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 3/24/10 and I'm An Adult Now

2010-03-24T18:42:00.002-04:00

Scale was at a non-Earth-shattering 144.4 lbs. Given I've been going back and forth between 147 and 142 during this last month's baby nugget drama, it doesn't seem all too significant.

So, moving on....

We've finally reached another adulthood milestone: getting life insurance. Yeah, we should have done this sooner, but prolonged adolescence pooh-poohs such mundane expenditures.

During our medical interviews, we were asked detailed questions about drug use, alcohol consumption, smoking, history of physical and mental illnesses and family health issues. Not a single question was asked about what we ate or the extent of our physical activity. Oddly, I was grilled about my weight loss, and not in a good way. My change in diet and exercise was not viewed positively, but as a cause for concern for their actuaries. Apparently, they must think I have a non-diagnosed pre-existing condition. Maybe cancer or a parasite.

Lesson in reality learned: A healthy change doesn't always earn you a gold star.

So Now What?

2010-03-19T21:46:00.004-04:00

Looks like I'm over the mini-pregnancy hump.

I finished the last of the antibiotics and the 800 mg-of-motrin-every-6-hours regimen that was wreaking havoc on my stomach and bowels. My gut cramped when it was empty, and cramped up again when I did eat something. The pre-natal vitamins with the "magical" iron side effects are out of my system.

Prolonged bathroom episodes and other unmentionable symptoms of a uterus turning itself inside out and violently puking are, for the most part, gone. Par-tay!

Any resemblance between me and Ozzy are purely coincidental.

So what now?

Well, there's no point in spilling my emotional guts any longer here, is there? Nope. So, no more sobby blogging about what was and what coulda been and what was lost.* The best therapy?

EXERCISE.

A return to the old workout routine this week has proven to be quite therapeutic, albeit a little painful. On early Monday morning, I popped in Jillian's Fat Blast/Boost Metabolism DVD. This was the first time I did this 40-min. workout since January. And, whoa. My legs, abs and shoulders were screaming the next morning. Fuck the pain. The following day? Back to Level I of the 30 Day Shred! Apparently, riding the recumbent bike and doing moderate resistance band training while pregnant really didn't maintain certain muscles, which atrophied during that brief Jillian hiatus. Who knew?

While temporarily painful, this return to high-endurance workouts was the single best, kindest thing I've done for myself lately. To sweat again, grunt, curse, breathe and just feel alive really made a difference in my mindset. This is a comfort that I could never find from junk food, sweets, alcohol or afternoon TV. With three + years of constant physical fitness and healthy eatin' in my routine, the good habits have become so ingrained that my brain is wired now to take pleasure from them. This gives me hope as I go into middle-age. I'm in a place where being physically active is its own drug. It's what my body craves and needs, and I can ably provide. I am past the point of no return.

And that's that.

Back to the Wednesday Weigh-Ins and all that crap next week.

In the meantime, I've been noshing on some excellent cauliflower salad and lentil salad from our local health food market, Nature's Bin. Definitely my go-to snacks for this weekend! Sadly, they did not have their infamous broccoli slaw. *sniff*

*Ok. A few things before I let this whole pregnancy miscarriage thing go.

Thank you, thank you for the thoughtful comments. The last post was a hard one to write. I felt that I needed to address what had happened before I could move on to normal blogging. I struggled with whether I should disable comments because of the frank and, well, personal nature of what I was thinking and going through. I'm glad I didn't.

I'm not looking to start an abortion debate, but I have to get this off of my chest:

Being faced with an unplanned pregnancy was a new experience that I often thought about, but was never fully prepared for. Before, I was a staunch Pro-Choice supporter. And I still am, even more so.

This was a tough, extreme experience that many readers have gone through already. It is one thing to advocate terminating a pregnancy. It is quite another to have to deal with it first-hand. It is the most difficult crossroad I ever had to deal with. I respect what every woman and couple have gone through. This is not a casual decision. I can't imagine what it's like for a pregnant woman who, for instance, isn't in a solid relationship with a committed partner or who is pregnant as a result of abuse or incest. Therefore, I really cannot judge the decision of another woman in that position. It is a serious matter left for her alone to decide. She is dealing with complex issues, so being told what she decides may be morally "wrong" is cruel and pointless. She is going through enough already. Let her be.

It is not a matter of being pro-life or not. Frankly, what I had in me was not a "life" per se. It was a potential for life. What I learned from my doctor is that many pregnancies--as much as 50%--end in miscarriage. And in my case, that potential for life fizzled. It was not viable. Having to carry the bad pregnancy and wait for the miscarriage to "just happen " was more emotionally, physically and financially dreadful than just terminating it early, to wit:

1. Early term abortion. Less than $500. Minimal medical intervention and physical trauma. Greater psychological closure. Done and done.

2. Carrying a non-viable pregnancy for another 6 weeks. Five ultrasounds, doctor's visits (where doctor keeps encouraging us to hold on and keep going, despite bad ultrasound results and non-existent hormone blood work that I was still charged for) and lab costs are over $3,800.00. The emergency hospital treatment for the miscarriage alone is totaling $3,200.00 so far, and that was just for one evening. Medication and vitamins, about $150.00. Preliminary monetary total, about $7,150.00 for medical costs. Emotionally, an extreme rollercoaster where we accept, reject and accept again the pregnancy, and then are informed it ain't happening--something we had suspected from the beginning.

Life Is What Happens When You're Busy Blogging About Losing Weight

2010-03-12T19:40:00.000-05:00

So what got me in a tizzy last month?

No, I didn't burn my law degree in a client-induced rage. My office partner didn't drive me to the brink. Yet. Married life is not in turmoil.

Rather, I managed to become pregnant.

We found out the last week of January, when that damn EPT stick wouldn't erase the "+" despite my repeated attempts to shake it like an Etch A Sketch. I have never been pregnant before; we never planned on having kids. In our 23 years together, we successfully dodged the baby bullet while enjoying the child-free life. We are almost 40. So, my initial reaction was to remove the parasite post haste.

There are little--if any--logical reasons to have a child in this post-industrial age. I don't need kids to help with family production. If I assigned a client's case to a 7 year-old, I'm fairly certain I'd lose my law license. Being the logical person that I am, it didn't make real sense to have a kid. The negatives certainly far outweighed the benefits.

But my perspective gradually changed over the next few weeks since this dropped (literally) in my lap. I wasn't prepared for the emotional trojan horse. Nor was Bob. Despite every logical reason against having a baby, we just couldn't bring ourselves to end it. Being faced with a pregnancy is stressful and emotional no matter which decision you make. Ending the pregnancy is stressful, but carries with it a powerful feeling of grim sadness. Keeping the baby is also pretty stressful, but the primary feeling with this option is one of hope. And hope won.

So, we accepted, and then embraced, the reality of becoming new parents just as Bob is turning 40 and I am turning 39. My head exploded at the thought that we would be almost 60 when the kid reached adulthood. We made baby plans. I took the prenatal vitamins and increased my intake of fruits, veggies and tons of yogurt and cheese. The idea of lactating kept me up at night.

I thought about what direction to go in terms of blogging. Do I start a new baby blog? Do I chronicle how I try to stay healthy while pregnant? I couldn't decide.

In the meantime, there were doctor visits. And ultra sounds. And more doctor visits. And more ultra sounds. And that's when the roller coaster really took us for a ride.

At 7 weeks pregnant, the ultrasound showed fetal development at 5 weeks. At 9 weeks, the ultrasound showed growth at only 6 weeks. There was a baby nugget (fetal pole, etc.), but no heartbeat.

This past weekend, I miscarried. It was emotionally wrenching, physically painful and just plain sickening.

Looking back, intuitively, I knew that this pregnancy wasn't going to be viable. I did not "feel" pregnant. No morning sickness. No hormone-induced mood changes. No changes in appetite. In the last week leading up to the miscarriage, I inexplicably lost almost 5 pounds since my last doctor's weigh-in 10 days before. Does that mean it was "meant to be?" No. Just bad chemistry. A series of random acts and events that happened to go down a pretty shitty path.

We're doing much better today, and will be even better tomorrow and the day after. That's the beauty of time and recovery...they work well together. It's sad to lose that potential of life, our shot at throwing our joint good looks, intelligence and cockiness into the collective gene pool. We'll try again--something I never thought we'd do. We may be successful, but if not, there are other ways to channel this new "potential" that has opened our eyes over the last couple of months. Maybe adopt or foster. More likely volunteer. Most likely hoard animals.

Eventually, I will get back to blogging again about health and fitness and all that. I'm thinking next week or the week after. And pray that I don't taint this blog with future details of our baby making. Or knitting puppy booties.

Wednesday Weigh-In and Boosh!

2010-02-04T18:17:00.003-05:00

Still at 143.00 Exciting, eh?

This past week ranks as one of the top ten most anxious, eye-popping, face-in-palm, bite-through-my wrists week of my life. Work. Health. Family. Accountant. Office. Some good. Some bad. Some wtf?!

Yeah.

May not be around much over the next couple of weeks. Or maybe I will. Maybe I'll paint landscapes. Or get another tattoo.

Winter Excuses

2010-01-30T01:01:00.010-05:00

I've always thought that cold weather was the powerful force against weight loss. I mean, it makes sense. We're so often told that our metabolisms shut down during the dark, cold days of winter and go into hibernation mode. That the desire to eat more and pack on/retain fat is "natural." Not surprisingly, S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is the current weight loss fail scapegoat. Less sunlight = less Vitamin D and thus less energy, or so the theory goes. So, trying to stay fit and healthy during the winter is a no-win proposition. Even unnatural. Right?

Uh, no.

We can learn a thing or two from Icelanders. We think winter here (well, at least up North) is bad. But in Iceland, not only is the climate brutal but the country gets, on average, only 4 hours of sunlight in the winter. Relatively speaking, they eat a fairly high caloric diet consisting of fatty lamb, dairy, carbs, fried pancakes and fritter-thingies and lots of sweets. And, of course, fish. Fried, salted, preserved fish. Poultry meat is not a staple (they don't like to eat birds, traditionally), but they wholly welcome eggs into their diets. Yet, Iceland ranks as one of the top healthiest nations in the world. Why is that?

For one, Icelanders do not "shut down" in the winter. They are, for the most part, quite physically active. Even in the dark. They enjoy numerous sports, and are renowned for their great strength.

Perhaps the explanation lies with their badass Viking genes.

Public Domain and Fair Use, so suck it.

Maybe this is explained by generations of evolution where only the strongest and fittest survived. Or perhaps they are onto something that we cannot quite accept: That life goes on even in the most challenging conditions. Rather than succumb to it, we can and should adapt, move on, and make the best of it.

I just watched an Anthony Bourdain "No Reservations" episode where he stayed in Iceland in the dead of winter. One day, he visited a local gym, which was packed with buff-looking men and women who were vigorously engaging various exercise equipment even as icy blackness loomed just beyond the glass walls. Before and after their workouts, they eat large bowls of fatty lamb stew. No protein shakes, oatmeal, cereal or skipping meals.

Physical activity in Iceland is a way of life that is ingrained early on. Icelandic authorities* recommend at least an hour of moderately intensive physical activity at least 5 days per week for children to maintain physical health.** Is that what your child is doing? Is that what YOU are doing?

This kind of calls into question these old notions we have about winter. About how cold weather and lack of sunlight bring us down. As Icelanders have shown, these are no excuses. In fact, they take advantage of the time they have indoors to devote to physical fitness. Sure, they fuel up on necessary carbs, proteins and fats. But they also burn it off.

Why, then, can't we? Are we using "winter" as another excuse?

For me, this winter has been challenging in the sense that I have turned into the biggest freeze crybaby ever. I wrap myself up much like Ralphie's little brother, Randy, even indoors. On the other hand, since I'm cooped up, I've been spending a little more time on the morning workouts. Workouts warm me up, and so I'm not cold anymore. Sure, I get tired, but that's usually after I come home from work. It's a process of whining and then adapting. Since I have more dark time in the morning, I use it to exercise more.

While I may sound pretty self-righteous saying all of this, the fact is that we all have the ability to change and adapt. We shouldn't misinterpret initial, petty negative body signals to mean that we just can't do it. Sure, the darkness is a downer and we feel more tired at certain times. But summer hotness also drains some energy out of us. So do Spring allergies. When will the excuses stop and the will take over? Exercising counteracts a lot of those bad feelings. After a little while of daily, consistent activity, it will be as if weather weren't an issue at all.

Yeah, we definitely could learn a thing or to from those eccentric, but sensible, Bjork-ies.

* Well, U.S. authorities, too, but most of us tend to pooh-pooh them anyway.

**While the study shows that Icelandic children have increased their physical activity over the last ten years, Western couch-potato trends have spread their tendrils into the brain stems of a lot of adolescents, and more physical activity is recommended.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 1/27/10 & Shtuff

2010-01-28T10:57:00.003-05:00

I was at 143.00 again yesterday. Fine by me. The scale today actually has me at a lot less, but whatever. I'm getting used to the fact that there isn't going to be much excitement with the scale anymore, unless I purposefully start gaining weight or come down with a terminal illness. Instead, the focus has been on toning and shit.

Didn't get a chance to post the weigh-in earlier because a.) I found out my sister is pregnant. And probably twins. Her first daughter just turned 18. So she has another 20 years of parenting, squared. Yowza! b.) I had to go along with Bob to watch a screening of the new flick When In Rome yesterday. It was horrible and put me in a downer mood the rest of the evening.

I blew my right knee. Again. I put Jillian back in her cage for now and have gone back to my usual 60 minutes of recumbent biking and 30 minutes or so of fun with resistance bands. I still do her knee-friendly-ish core circuits, tho. They rock.

So the H1N1 vaccine (or the "hynie shot" as Bobzilla calls it) is now available at our local pharmacy. We were going to get them yesterday but I wussed out. Even a one in a million chance of a horrible reaction is enough to set off my anxiety alarms. We'll try again today. If I don't post something within the next 7 days, that means I'm probably dead.

Best Weight Loss Tool Evah!

2010-01-25T18:49:00.003-05:00

If you find yourself seduced by the next hamburger ad or sexy-looking frozen pizza box at the grocery, go to this website first:

Food In Real Life

It will give you the bitch slap of reality needed to pull you back from the edge.

The Year in Review

2010-01-23T17:18:00.005-05:00

It just dawned on me that I've been blogging for a year now. Officially, the blogiversary was Jan. 8th. Funny how I just wrote earlier this week about letting go of the past to move forward, but then I'm reminded of a poignant line from one of my favorite films, Magnolia: "We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us." This part of backwards reflection is acceptable, though, because it represents progress and not regression. So, I'm all for it. Another exception to the exception. Or whatever.

When I started the blog, I weighed 175 lbs. Prior to that, I was "on my own" with the weight loss and did quite well, losing about 75 lbs. before I hit a plateau in early November 2008. I figured blogging would give me the boost I needed to reignite the engine. And it seemed to do the trick. Over the last year, I lost 32 pounds. I went from a size 16/14 to a size 8 (sadly, these prized size 8 Calvins I'm sitting in are now loose in the ass and thighs and will need to be retired within the month.).

Here is an illustrated review, because one can never get enough mileage out of an outfit as tragic as this:

The gut that lingered in early '09 is now gone. The back boobs are ghosts. As is the sagging jaw line. My arms, chest, back, shoulders and thighs are toned and strong. On the down side, I went from a D cup to a barely-filled B cup. So long, boobies. But, the posture is pretty solid...probably because I ain't top heavy no mo'.

This past year has been a hybrid of weight loss and maintenance rehearsal. I'd lose, then gain, maintain, lose again and maintain. I get it. I more than get it. I embrace the way I eat, and can't imagine a day that goes by without exercising. I have even worked out when sick. It is a part of normal life. I like this new normal.

Here is a list of what has happened over the past year:

NEW SHIT

1. I took up running this year. On purpose. For the first time ever. I loved it. Then my knees said, "F**k you." I still gaze longingly at the joggers who brave even bad weather to get a good run in. I don't get pissed when they're in the street. I understand them now.

2. Related to #1, I got athletic shoes. On purpose and not because high school gym class required them. Though butt ugly, they were the single best purchase I ever made. I still wear them when I do my Jillian workouts and they serve me well on the fitness trail dates with Bobzilla.

3. I manage stress much, much better. It was not uncommon for me to have a meltdown during a stressful day at the office, dealing with family, etc. That has changed dramatically over the past year. I have learned to care less, and it's become ingrained. I talk myself out of blowing up and certain things that used to get under my skin (bad drivers, idiocacy, etc.) just don't bother me so much any more. While this may be related to my commitment to stop caring, I'm pretty sure the exercise and healthy eating has a major role in this. Even Pat Robertson's insane rant about Haiti has barely raised my pulse. I'm sure I'm passionate about something...oh God, I hope I'm not dead.

4. Showing skin. I tried on, bought, and wore a two piece swimming suit this summer. Collectively, I have never done all three things before. My boudoir wardrobe has quadrupled. I also did a fetish photo shoot and love the pictures. No, they won't be posted here. Let's just say I look pretty hot in black vinyl and rubber.

5. I am a morning person. *gasp* I am in bed at a decent hour. Usually no later than 10:00 p.m. Then I'm up no later than 6:00 a.m. for the morning workouts. Before this, I used to crash at late hours, usually after 1:00 in the morning.

6. Workout videos. Never thought I'd do them. In my mind, workout videos were made to be laughed at, not useful. Jillian proved me wrong.

7. Organic, free-range eating. Our diet is now almost all organic and free range. I make most of my lunches. I don't eat meat usually when we go out. All produce, juices, coffee/tea and grains in our kitchen are organic. Our meat and dairy come from ethical, humane sources, and absolutely no hormones, GMO's, or antibiotic-laden foods. Do they help you lose weight? Not by themselves. But once you become aware of what you put in your body, it is a natural extension to eliminate ALL crap. I'd rather spend a few extra cents on organic food than spend the money on a restaurant meal.

8. It's ok to be narcissistic. I had a hard time blogging at first. I don't like talking about myself. I am self-conscious about the use of too many "I's" in a sentence, written or spoken. I got over myself and accepted that blogging is about me. And that's ok.

WHAT I LEARNED

1. Happiness has nothing to do with weight. When I created the above photo montage, I was struck by an implicit message I might be sending, that the person I was in July 2007 was someone to be abhorred or pitied. That is totally wrong. When that picture was taken on that rad summer morning, I was happy. Notice the blush on my cheeks. I was getting ready to spend the day with my best friend and couldn't wait to get going. I was not in a cesspool of misery when I was obese. I enjoyed life then, and I enjoy life now. Losing weight is not a talisman. Sure, I feel healthier and happier, but I also didn't put all my emotional eggs in the weight loss basket. You find and take pleasure where you find it. It is not something that should be denied until you reach an ideal physical condition. I think this is why I've been able to stick with this slow weight loss process, which has lasted over three years. You don't stop living, loving and laughing just because you're fat. Losing weight won't cure problems.

2. There is no "done." Eating healthy and exercise is not a temporary thing. I have accepted that I will--and must--workout almost every day, for the rest of my life. I can't go back to eating at the deli downstairs in my office building. Taco Bell is garbage and always will be. That's it.

3. 99% is mental. No more dwelling on past pain and issues. No more yearning to eat bad things I used to think would give me pleasure. On the flip side, there is no over-thinking to this. Talking too much about losing weight will just bring you down. It's like verbal padding or filler. At some point, you have to get up from the computer and just exercise, just live.

4. Oil and fats are ok. Some olive oil and fats are good for, and necessary to, clean and healthy eating. For some reason, this was a hard one for me to overcome, but I've finally leveled out and have reached an amicable living situation with grease.

5. The scale is not the final arbiter of progress. The scale is not God. Do not revolve your life around its judgment, and certainly do not assess the status of your health by that fickle fiend. Time and commitment will see you through. I regret not taking measurements, because I am shrinking more than the scale says I am losing over the last 3 months. Plus, endurance, tone and overall emotional and mental well-being cannot be measured by the scale. Nor can trying on jeans at the store.

REINFORCING THINGS I ALREADY KNEW

1. No deprivation. Chocolate, ice cream and cheese are not no-no's. Wine is chilling for my consumption as I write this. I had french fries earlier this week. We will be eating at Melt Bar 'n Grilled tomorrow for brunch.

2. Pets are not very bright. Despite repeated injuries, my cat still sticks his face in the bike pedal as I'm spinning. He must like it.

3. Keep the tata's restrained. Don't ever, ever try to work out without proper restraint. I suppose the same thing applies to men's goods. I wouldn't know. Thank God I avoid the gym.

4. Twenty to thirty minutes of exercise, even daily, is not enough for long-term weight loss. Suck it up.

5. Jillian had a prior career operating a BDSM dungeon. Perhaps even a chain of them.

Ok! Off to pour myself an anniversary toast. Here's hoping this weekend's indulgences don't bite me in the ass!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 1/20/10 and Don't Look Back

2010-01-20T20:13:00.009-05:00

First, the minor stuff. I'm at 143.00 today. Deja vu. I know that number. I think I met it at a pre-holiday party last month.

Been feeling blog-fatigued lately. Haven't read or commented much lately. Just zoning out here. Mostly due to an assload of work that has formed what will probably be a permanent "11" between my brows.

On the workout front, I'm back up to Level Three with Mistress Jillian. I have a few especially tasty, profane words in mind that would aptly describe the "traveling pushups" and the uber-painful circuit of mountain climbers immediately followed by bouncing sumo squats. Now, while the workout is difficult, I still don't feel I'm getting enough cardio in. So I hop on the bike for 30 minutes, which is a breeze compared to the aforementioned torture.

Last week, I met with a friend at my office, and we discussed the cognitive behavior therapy class she's taking. Apparently, this type of treatment--which concentrates on helping to mold effective, goal-oriented behavior rather than analyzing the past--is extremely successful in treating obesity and even drug and alcohol addiction. As she was describing this form of therapy, a spark went off in my head. I think I know now why this weight loss thing has been successful and relatively easy:

YOU CAN'T MAKE PROGRESS WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING BACKWARDS

I'm no weight loss virgin. I have started and failed many times. Common with all those prior attempts was my tendency to think in terms of the past. This could be the immediate past or long-term life history. I dwelled on my bad family life growing up and the bad eating habits formed and reinforced decades before. I was fixated on my old life. For example, I would focus on the many types of crappy food I used to turn to for comfort. I even tied in what is arguably the worst childhood ever with my obesity. I was fixated on finding, analyzing and revisiting the how's and why's of my fat ass.

Did that help me? Uh, no. If anything, this type of thinking sabotaged my weight loss efforts because I (unintentionally) continued to identify my present self with my past self. This backwards thinking made me miserable and my attempts at weight loss impossible because I perceived attempts at "dieting" and exercise to be more difficult than they were or should have been. I would overreact to feelings of hunger or any desire, really, because I wanted immediate gratification. I was greedy and impulsive. When I fell off the wagon, it wasn't just a temporary thing--it turned into a long-term relapse. I made it unnecessarily difficult to get back on track because my response to a temporary fail was to panic, overanalyze what I did wrong and re-familiarize myself with the "old" me. Thinking about the old ways was all that I knew, it was familiar to me and certainly easier to deal with than making changes. If I screwed up once, it snowballed because, hey, why bother if the cat's already out of the bag? Doing new things, of course, is uncomfortable. It's hard to visualize, construct and nurture a goal when you're distracted by continuously looking backward.

This time around was different, though. I couldn't put it into words until after my friend session last week. But now I understand. I've been goal-oriented. I don't know if I hit my head in my sleep or what, but this time around I focused on what I wanted to happen. While the weight loss was slow, every week I lost a pound meant that I was no longer carrying that weight from my past. Once I accepted that this change is permanent, it became easier, over time, to think about where I am going as opposed to where I've been. I guess that's why I don't blog much about my former bad habits. I don't agonize about physical and emotional abuse in the family, or the painful losses. I don't describe in salacious detail the types of crappy food I used to put in my mouth. I don't want to talk about it anymore. When I get frisky with food (don't call it a relapse!) nowadays, I don't talk about or dwell on it either. What is the point?

I suppose this is why the Beck diet books are so popular. I avoided looking into that program because it seemed to "cultish" to me. I'm not a fan of "movements." While I'm not ready to drink the Beck kool-aid yet, this area is more than just a little intriguing.

....EXCEPT AS STATED HEREIN

Now hold up. I'm not a past-hatah. Actually, I've been finding renewed pleasure in old things lately, such as:

1. Vintage Clothing. What finally convinced me that current fashion designers are playing a joke on consumers is when I went shopping for sweaters and found that most of them were short-sleeved or sleeveless. Sleeveless sweaters? I had it, and returned to my roots: thrift stores! I scored some incredible finds, mostly from the 60's. Most of the vintage clothes are made of higher-quality fabric, and are tailored better to bring out a flattering shape. And the crown jewel was a woman's pimp blouse. Trust me, it works.

2. Peanut Butter and Jelly. My mother-in-law gave me organic, natural peanut butter and jelly for Christmas. I swear, it tastes better than what I remember. Even on carrots.

But there is an exception to the exception, as I discovered during my sickness:

Footloose is bad. Real bad. Especially the soundtrack. How did Loggins pull it off?

Oxygen is the best thing ever.

2010-01-13T18:45:00.004-05:00

What was seemingly a harmless cold turned out to be one of the nastiest respiratory viruses to plague the household. Almost a week to the day after Bob got sick, I got hit. It started off innocently enough, but by Christmas Day, I was curled up in the corner leaking essential fluids from my throbbing head while the rest of the family pretended death wasn't creeping their way across the room:

A few days after that, and things got worse as the bug hit my chest. Breathing became the most important activity. I had to bid adieu to Jillian and attempted "gentle" workouts on the bike, but when breathing was too difficult, workouts were shelved altogether. I expelled copious amounts of unspeakable things from my lungs as I sat around feeling sorry for myself, watching five seasons of The Office on streaming Netflix and playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook as the dog whimpered at my feet over the lack of attention. Did I feed her? I can't remember.

Sleep was difficult due to the coughing fits. Prescription cough medicine helped, but it turned me into a dopey night zombie and plugged me up.

There were no shameless bouts of bingeing and celebration. My biggest treats over the two-week holiday marathon were a half dozen or so amaretti cookies, a glass of eggnog, Lemonheads and two pots of home made chicken soup (per Alton Brown's recipe, highly recommended). And some cheese. New Year's was dry...the first dry New Year's since '88, I think.

Last week, I started getting better and returned to the tough-love arms of Jillian, but I had to start back at Level 1. That was rough and I went back to the bike.

This week, I'm feeling near-normal and the coughing has subsided. Breathing capacity is at about 90%. So, yay.

The scale stayed steady at 143 during Christmas and New Years, then up to 147 (!) late last week, then down to 144.6 today. I can't really put much stock in those numbers, though, given the circumstances. Even if I were at a loss, it's not like a real victory anyway. The "official" weigh-ins will resume next week, assuming I successfully dodge future plague bullets.

On the plus side, Bob got me some sweet resistance bands for Christmas, which I have been using and LOVING. There is an element of danger to using them. I can't help but think one of the plastic clasps will break, causing a band to whip across my face and take out an eye. And a tooth or two. So, it makes my workouts that much more badass. Rawrrrr!

I've been lurking and reading many blogs, but haven't the time or energy to catch up in one fell swoop. I am energized by so many bloggers' new-found commitment to a fit and healthy New Year, as well as others' continued success (and reasonable bitchiness!), and look forward to following their progress.

And the new season of Biggest Loser has started already. Dammit.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 12/23/09 & Happy Festivus!

2009-12-23T17:55:00.003-05:00

143.2 lbs. Pretty much a maintain and nothing to show for it. I never did have that eggnog this past weekend because Bobzilla has been sick with a head and chest cold. It was a pretty vanilla weekend of homemade chicken soup and movies. Even the candy cane I was going to eat is still sitting unwrapped on the counter. And now I'm fighting off Bob's plague and don't have a taste for anything. It's like deja vu from last month with this sickness. Everyone I know around here is getting sick over and over again. Doesn't matter how healthy or "fit" you are. I swear, we are one rogue monkey away from THE superflu.

Tonight I'm making Italian amarettis, using an original recipe from the family's favorite local baker. We had to get really creative to get the recipe, so I cannot share. Ancient quido secret. But rest assured that these cookies are delicious.

My BFF gave me an early Christmas present: A fetish Zombie Destroyer outfit. I am in heaven. It even has extra pockets along the sides for weapons! And I look pretty bangin' in it. I thought about posting a picture of me wearing the kinky zombie gear in lieu of the standard bikini/bathing suit "after" photo. But really, it isn't appropriate. So, that's that.

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. Sin, but in moderation. Yeah, right.

Wednesday Weigh-In 12/16/2009 and Biting Through My Wrists

2009-12-16T18:04:00.005-05:00

Down to 143.4 lbs, a little over a pound loss. Things should be leveling off here soon. I'm kind of jazzed about starting the New Year more or less in maintenance mode. Nice timing.

Little Sis is now out of the hospital. She was in there longer than any of us expected, I guess because we all underestimated the seriousness of things. Plus she was isolated from family (limited visiting hours) in a loud wing with an uncomfortable bed and getting more depressed every day. But, she's out and now on a path to a healthy new life. I hope. She has to navigate herself through this. Before her health and then body took a turn for the worse, I picked her up some "fun" gifts. Now I wish I hadn't and instead opted for such things as, a workout DVD, hand weights, a heart monitor, some cool workout clothes. I still feel uncomfortable doing that, though. Most of us don't like the subtle (and not-so subtle) hints that we are fat and unhealthy. I know I didn't. So, I don't volunteer advice, except occasionally on weight-loss blogs.(which is a different context anyway). I don't give gifts bearing thinly-veiled messages. But in this case, when she needs it and HAS to do it, well, that's more complicated. I should just suck it up, put on the bossy big sis hat and do it. The worst that will happen is that she'll be irritated that I'm nagging her. She would take it more personal if, for instance, a stranger did the same thing.

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind in other ways, most of it office -related. I was running around like a mad monkey meeting all sorts of crazy ass deadlines, court appearances, etc. The last of the fire drills ended this afternoon. Shit. I probably shouldn't have said that. My desk will probably hold steaming piles of paper turds when I go back in tomorrow morning.

I realize as I'm typing this that I am tired to the point of being retarded. I haven't thought about dinner and can't remember what I'm supposed to do tonight. Wait, I remember! Watching Food, Inc.

Oh, an advance confession: I will be going to the Velvet Tango Room to indulge in a real eggnog. That's right. Raw egg, cream and all. But since I haven't been engaging in abnormally bad behavior during this season, what the hell.

And for some advance holiday cheer, here's a creepy tree Santa I found at the local Marc's:

He had yellow eyes, so help me God. Yellow eyes!

Wednesday Weigh-In and Pre-Holiday Fire Drills

2009-12-09T14:57:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm down another half pound, to 144.6 today. That's perfectly fine. I doubt I'm going to be losing much more for a while, only because it looks like I'm getting close to where I want to be.

You'd think with the holidays, there would be major slacking in legal-land, but not so. I have to finish up my last remaining Continuing Legal Education credits, which means several days of BORE-ing seminars. And there are brief deadlines up through the end of next week. Presently, I have two word processing windows open on my computer screen, my email server up in another window, a browser window open to an on-line legal database and another on a court docket, and then this window is up for my blog. I'm running this computer into the ground. Poor thing.

And my poor sis has been sick and in the hospital since Monday, putting me in anxiety mode for a while. But no boo-hoos or condolences are necessary. She's getting better every day. The food does suck, I am told. So I'm not going to complain about my mediocre, over-microwaved chicken 'n green beans I'm trying to force down at the moment. People in bare-ass hospital gowns would take a dozen IVs if they could have my food. We should all be grateful.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 12/2/09 and Ugh.

2009-12-02T16:52:00.005-05:00

145.2 lbs, down about half a pound from last week. Post-Thanksgiving, so I'll take it!

I don't talk about TOM because it doesn't have a lasting effect on my weight gain/loss, but....

....I feel like doing this to my uterus today:

Artwork by the twistedly talented Lacey.

But, with a spork to make sure I've removed everything.

Thanksgiving Weekend Breather

2009-11-28T18:55:00.006-05:00

First off, my weight last Wednesday was 145.6, back exactly to what it was 2 weeks ago. I didn't have time to post a Wednesday Weigh-In and update, between office wind-up and food prep. I'm more interested to see what the scale says next Wednesday.

Thanksgiving itself was pretty great. We spent it with Bob's family and it was actually one of the best Thanksgivings we have shared. I handled the turkey and pumpkin squares (made from scratch...including the pumpkin itself), Bob made his GF mac 'n cheese, and his mom pretty much slaved over everything else. The turkey (which I had brined the day before) came out especially tasty and juicy. There were no food disasters or kitchen mishaps. This was also our dog's first Thanksgiving, and she was very well-behaved and goofy. She was the centerpiece of the day.

No, I didn't pig out. But I have a weakness for the gamey dark meat. And Sandi's cranberry orange jello mold. A peek at the scale the next day showed zero gain, so that's good.

For Black Friday, we avoided the big box stores and chains, and instead stuck to all local shops and artists. The highlight was hitting up the Bazaar Bizarre, featuring some of the most unique, neat-o wares by local DIY artists. Artisan glass, found object wearable art, scarab jewelry made from watch gears, marshmallow soap...I was overwhelmed by such talent. And THE coolest T-shirts I ever saw, designed and sold by Psycho Reindeer. I couldn't resist picking up a shirt for myself:

Today, we went to the newly-restored Capitol Theatre and saw The Fantastic Mr. Fox. It was fantastic. Tonight, Master Chef Bob made Vindaloo (basically, Indian hash) from some of the 10 pounds or so of leftover turkey. It was quite tasty:

Yeah, Goji wasn't too far from the turkey. She's developed quite a taste for it. Our cats don't much care for turkey, but this dog goes apeshit for it and will actually go through her whole repertoire of tricks without being commanded to do so. Impressive.

And tonight we are staying in and watching some DVDs, starting off with a zombie movie to get into the holiday spirit. Tomorrow, we'll be taking Goji to the park for a run and some frisbee action. Later, we'll be putting up the holiday decorations and tree, which will no doubt be destroyed by Monday. Goji was already trying to pull down the (empty) pet stockings that I just hung on the mantle.

Still working out every day (except Sunday). I'm up to Level Two on the Jillian shred, which I alternate every other day with the other Jillian vid, with an extra 30 minutes on the bike for cool down. Yeah, the bike's a cool down. It's my recovery after those got dam walking push-ups, plank jacks, squat thrusts and lunges w/bicep curls. *shudders*

For Shelley.....

2009-11-24T20:49:00.002-05:00

The Efficacy of Weight Loss Blogging

2009-11-18T12:44:00.001-05:00

I got my weight-loss shit together when I lost a good friend almost two years ago. She was a hardcore bulimic: she would typically spend an hour in my bathroom, several times a day, flushing the toilet over and over again. One time, she flooded the bathroom. Even as the toilet water, toilet paper and undigested food swirled around her feet on the bathroom floor, she thought her disorder was a secret to us. The other signs were there, too. The flushed, chipmunk face from swollen salivary glands. The bloating. The abnormal hair loss. The teeth. I played along with the denial game with her, that game of "let's pretend I'm not going to purge this sandwich." Her fixation on food was profound. It was the subject of most of our conversations. We would go out to eat or order pizza and relish the pleasure it gave us. We were binge-buddies. And Bob and I would silently stare at each other when she left the table immediately after eating to go to the bathroom. Again.

I didn't have the courage to confront her with it. I was scared to. Scared that she would fly off the handle. Again. That she would disappear and not speak to me. Or threaten suicide. Again. See, it wasn't just the bulimia. Indeed, that was a just a symptom of something much deeper and darker. For instance:

1. She regularly engaged in "splitting." In other words, she held extreme black and white views of events, trivial matters, herself and her relationship with others. Most of it negative. She demanded nothing less than unconditional acceptance. The slightest (and unintended criticism) was met with harsh rebuke or great hurt and offense. She would obsess over perceived criticisms of her.

2. Manipulated by this splitting behavior, I learned to say and do the right things to her. Unconditional, noncritical words and compassion were like currency. The more I pleased her, the better she felt about herself and the more she rewarded me with kindness and acceptance. Later, my therapist (I'll get to that in a moment) would describe this type of conditioning as akin to a mother bird feeding a hungry hatchling. It was a neverending process of feeding her unstable ego.

3. At the high point in our relationship, I was her best and only friend, someone who didn't abandon her. At the time, I didn't notice her long history of broken relationships with her family, friends and boyfriends. I also didn't pay mind to the other current friends who were disappearing. It was them, not her. They were assholes, like she said.

4. Her low self-esteem was bottomless. Certainly, she had days where she felt positive and empowered. On her dark days (there were many), she was a loser. She was fat (she wasn't). Nobody liked her.

She became so embedded in our lives that it was not unlike having a third spouse. Or child. She demanded more attention. She was going to spend holidays with us and our family--without being invited. When I sheepishly tried to quell her plan, she became depressed and withdrawn until I promised her an alternate visit.

And we wanted to help solve her problems for her. I didn't want to hurt her because I thought we could position ourselves to help with her bulimia and dark moods. More importantly, I thought that if I broke off our relationship she would severely hurt or kill herself because, at that point, she had no one else and was in a dark place. She was in pain, harboring negative self-views that increasingly worsened. My responses, no matter how well-intentioned or loving, were not helping her. In fact, it was exacerbating her condition. She did not need my compassion...she needed professional help. I certainly was unqualified to do it.

In the end, the friendship became so destructive and turbulent that I went into therapy. I thought it was me, that there was something wrong with me because I couldn't fix this relationship.

It was during that therapy that the psychologist explained that my friend was displaying symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Imagine that...my therapist counseling me on the problems of someone else. It was during this therapy that the doctor explained my friend's eating disorder and how it was just one symptom of a much larger issue that would take years of intensive professional treatment to resolve or at least minimize. Until that happened, I needed to walk away.

She advised me to break off my relationship with her immediately and cleanly. No follow up phone call. No letter of explanation. No email. I did it. It hurt bad, the resulting guilt and sudden separation and loss. It was like she died. I lost a best friend just like that.

To get over that grief, I worked on myself. I re-evaluated this fixation on food, alcohol (she was also a heavy drinker) and self-image that was destroying my friend and bringing me down with her. With that, I was able to overhaul my own physical and mental roadmap and, well, that was that.

I didn't read other weight loss blogs and start this blog until a year after I rebooted my weight loss program and already lost about 70-75 pounds of my starting weight. And I'm glad I didn't.

Most obese people do not have eating disorders ("ED"). Statistics to that effect are readily available for your Google research pleasure. From my own unscientific observations over the past year, most weight loss bloggers do not identify ED as an underlying cause of their issues.

There are, however, bloggers who claim to have an ED. Usually self-diagnosed. Usually untreated. There are actually PRO-ED blogs and message boards out there. Lots of them. The proana (anorexia) and promia (bulimia) sites are disturbing, for sure. But some are much more subtle in reinforcing ED, perhaps unintentionally so.

As is human nature, we tend to seek out others who are like-minded, or at least seem to share whatever our own issues might be. What I've found in this little corner of the blogging universe is a surprising lack of meaningful exchange of information and opinions. Sure, there are informative and provocative blogs. But communication in a blogging context is typically unidirectional, like an arrow shooting into the great expanse that is the internet. Feedback is limited to friendly words of support and encouragement, humor and/or light commentary. Perhaps some differing viewpoints, but those are rare as they tend to be perceived as hostile or confrontational. Us floggers like harmony and would like to buy the world a Diet Coke. That is the nature of blogs in general, I suppose. By saying this, I'm not suggesting that blogs must be so interactive, or even so important. They don't, and they can't usually. This is not a message board or chatroom, after all.

But in the case of some ED blogs, it is particularly worrisome. I'm not talking about those who have sought and obtained professional treatment and are in recovery. There are plenty of those, and they are quite insightful, helpful and inspiring. Instead, I am referring to those blogs where the person has identified himself or herself as having an ED, but who has consciously chosen to forgo treatment.

First, I wonder how this person came to diagnose himself or herself as having an ED. Does she even have binge eating disorder or is it a matter of simply overeating and failure to regularly exercise? There is a significant difference between binging and overeating. I have even used the word binge casually myself. But does it rise to the level of a medical condition? Or is identifying oneself as a "binger" one way to medicalize or justify a weight problem, like a cloak or a shield?

Binge Eating Disorder--which research has suggested is more prevalent than even anorexia and bulimia--is a big deal. It effects not only the victim/patient, but also that person's family and friends. Though not yet formally recognized on the DSM-V until at least 2012, it is a serious disorder that requires serious treatment. If a person does truly have BED, but refuses treatment and instead resorts to blogging, it is potentially dangerous not only to herself, but to other readers who may also have (or think they have) an ED and have identified with him or her for that reason.

For those who don't get professional treatment and instead engage in virtual self-help via blogging, they risk dealing with the ED in isolation of the other problems intertwined with the disorder. While they publicly journalize their attempts to fix themselves, they deny, minimize, omit or distort the extent of their underlying emotional and psychological issues, deliberately or unintentionally. There is a fixation on the food (healthy or unhealthy), scale numbers and measurements, and attempts to limit calorie intake. Well-intentioned words of encouragement and support (which is about all most readers can offer) can reinforce that blogger's conviction that he or she can continue to do this on their own. More troubling, it sends a message to other readers with ED that they, too, can beat this without getting help.

However, according to many ED specialists, this self-help approach can be dangerous, as it may ultimately undermine that person's ability to successfully recover from the ED. Sure, there is a dispute among some professionals as to what to treat first: the weight or the disordered eating? But obesity treatments in and of themselves tend to be ineffective in the long run. And there is little disagreement that the psychological aspects must still be addressed to facilitate recovery. Changing eating habits, for instance, is not enough and may even make the problem worse. "Strict or unsupervised dieting" or calorie restriction can even trigger binge eating or other ED complications.

ED is a tough disorder to treat. As it is, therapy--under the guidance and supervision of a professional qualified to deal with ED and related issues--isn't always successful, though still effective and certainly better than going at it alone. For example, therapist-led group therapy for binge eating disorder, which is a common cognitive-behavioral treatment approach, has a success rate of approximately 51%. Only half. Of course, individualized treatment may be more effective, and necessary, depending on that person's circumstances.

More to the point, for patients engaging in self-help, the numbers drop dramatically. Even in self-help group therapy, less than 18% of members abstained from disordered eating. And that's in a structured group setting.

Imagine, then, the recovery prognosis for those who attempt to treat the ED on their own, without any therapy.

That is not to say there are no proper forums for dealing with an ED on the internet. For instance, there is a compelling ED website called Something Fishy, which provides abundant resources for ED treatment and recovery, including an impressive national referral system. Interestingly, its moderated message board is very trigger-conscious. Its policy specifically prohibits the disclosure of weight, weight goals, size, measurements, before/after pictures of participants, etc. There is no bragging about ED behaviors (what you binged on, when you last purged, etc.) or links to a participant's personal journal, website or blog. There is no discussion about calorie intake. Wow. This policy really drives home the depth and seriousness of ED. The factoids we take for granted and are helpful to us are poison to someone with an ED. For that person, those elements need to be stripped away in order to effectively deal with the illness. It seems so counter-intuitive at first, but ultimately makes sense.

At this point in this long post, as I wind things up, I could wax poetic about the epidemic of obesity and how we should talk about our WL goals/obstacles/successes if it helps us and support each other and all of that. That would be stating the obvious.

The harder, the more difficult thing is realizing that there are some very sick people here. You or I may even be sick ourselves but haven't brought ourselves to confront that fact. It is important to be careful of identifying yourself with or as someone with an ED (as I have in the past and might have again) unless, well, you have things sorted out upstairs and, where necessary, obtained the help of a therapist, nutritionist and other professionals. And to understand that ED is a sickness that requires help that blogging may not provide for someone with an untreated ED. Or worse.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 11/18/9

2009-11-18T10:40:00.002-05:00

146.8 lbs this morning. About a pound gain. Yeah, you'll have that.

Tonight, we're going to an advanced screening of the new Twilight movie. No doubt the theatre will be choked with teen and pre-teen girls swooning at boys who sparkle. I am frightened to my very core.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 11/11/09 & Looking Back

2009-11-11T13:54:00.005-05:00

Since I've been feeling perfectly healthy for several days, the "official" weigh-ins are back on. Scale tells me I'm at 145.6 lbs. That's a two-pounder loss since the last WI two weeks ago. While I am pleased, the scale numbers matter less and less. My body seems to have changed rapidly over the last 2 months or so. The tummy is most definitely flatter. Muscle tone is becoming visible everywhere...back, shoulders, thighs, abs. So weird. I've never looked like this before. It's like everything is settling in. One day in the near future I might be ~~drunk~~ brave enough to take and post pics. Right.

But even more than that, I feel good. Consistently. No, not the high and low extreme feelings from earlier in this process, but, well solid. I am more active even in passive activities, and it's effortless. For example, I take my dog on 20 minute walks twice a day. Years ago, I would have considered just one 20 minute or half-hour walk to count as exercise towards weight loss (Not surprisingly, the weight did not come off as expected, except for the typical 10-15 lbs of water weight that initially slides off whenever I began a diet/fitness plan). Now, it's just routine, a part of life in addition to my normal 60-90 minute workouts. I can shop forever. I usually don't buy anything, but I like to walk around and just look. And it doesn't wear me out. Even when I was sick, it only lasted about 3 days and I was still doing things. A far cry from what things were like 1 or 2 years ago.

In fact, there is an embedded normalcy to this. Often, I find little to talk about anymore on the weight loss front. What was a milestone before is now just "meh." Healthy eating is so everyday--so innocuous--that trying to sing praises about my meals seems forced. Right now, I'm lunching on an artichoke and spinach salad in a lemon dressing with a slice of roast lean meat. I could tell you how awesome and healthful it is. But, whatever.

Wait. It has kalamata olives. Now I AM excited.

My New Roller Derby Name Is....

2009-11-10T11:12:00.003-05:00

DeathMetal CamelToe.

Take MIA PSYCHO'S ROLLER DERBY NAME GENERATOR today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Run the machine for your own roller derby name and then jam on over to MizFit's blog for a chance to win a free Roller Derby DVD workout!

I'm Not Dead.

2009-11-06T22:32:00.003-05:00

I'm getting better. I don't want to get on the cart. I feel fine. I think I'll go for a walk.

It was a cold. Not the flu...or worse. I'm quite better, actually. Just chillin' with Bobzilla (who caught my disease but is also recovering quite well). In fact, we just came back from taking Goji on a long walk in the leaves. We're a bit winded, but otherwise A-ok.

We may even go to Dave 'n Buster's tomorrow for some skee ball and trivia action. But not munchies. Their food pretty much blows.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 11/4/09 and PLAGUE!

2009-11-04T20:20:00.003-05:00

I've been going back and forth between feeling really crappy and feeling like my body is winning the brawl with this bug. Headaches, sore throat, burny lungs and nose, discomfort and stomach cramps and digestion issues. OMG, the stomach cramps. What the hell. I'm getting upper and lower body action at the same time. No fever, though. That's positive.

Bob had to sleep with earplugs last night to drown my snoring, due to my mouth breathing from the congestion. I was a chronic snorer for years, but that disappeared with the weight loss. It was almost nostalgic to see those foam plugs sticking out of his head.

When it comes to sickness, I'm a big whiner and it shows here. I'll probably keep posting boo-hoo updates just in case a documentation of my slow death from the new plague will be of value in future medical research. Actually, it's just a morbid fascination. One of my favorite books is The Stand by Steven King. It's scary because it COULD happen! It's prophetic. Like Fahrenheit 451.

Workouts were toned down this week. No Jillian. No crazy lunges, walking planks, mountain climbers or burpies. Just my old school 60 minute bike rides and light weight lifting. Obviously, if this gets worse, my ass is staying in bed with the dog.

I've decided to skip an official weigh-in number this week because the reading is probably "false" anyway. Unofficially, I'm at 146.00 pounds but I don't trust that number given the circumstances. We'll see how the next week or two goes. And as I'm writing this, it seems I've grown unattached to the numbers lately and have been less concerned about registering a big loss every week.

In other news, Cleveland has the honor of having one of the worst serial killers ever. And we apparently are unable to draw a reasonable conclusion from a months-long foul odor at a sex offender's house. Yay us.

I'm such a pig

2009-11-03T14:57:00.004-05:00

It started last night. Burning throat and nose. Then drips. I woke up at 5:00 this morning with raging sore throat and snot. I'm uncomfortable and irritable, but at least I don't think I have a fever.

And now I'm googling "H1N1 symptoms" and have become an armchair medical expert. I'm on pins and needles every time I feel something vaguely akin to death.

This is the first time I've been sicky in over a year. All this healthy eating and exercise and daily mega doses of Vitamin D are going to be put to the test. That, or I'm turning into a hypochondriac.

Probably caught this from the masquerade ball. Damn.

Every Day is Halloween

2009-11-02T20:53:00.009-05:00

The only thing that would have made this Halloween perfect was carving a pumpkin. Our costumes turned out better than expected, although, per usual, no one except for a small handful of like-minded nerds "got" our costumes. It's lonely being an uber geek.

Bob did his own makeup and looked quite dapper as Orville. I think I like the man drag a bit too much.

Or perhaps it was the pants? I just didn't want to take them off. Ever.

This getup also had some unintentionally horrifying consequences. My beard and mustache, made with crepe hair, looked not unlike pubic hair. My "O" face? Disturbing. And certainly scarier than any Freddy Krueger or Angry Town Haller.

The masquerade ball was fun and crowded. So many good costumes. Lacey's Road Kill Skunk was adorable:

As was Mariah's marionette gone bad:

During the night, we rescued a poor hungry street kitty and took her to the vet this morning for blood screening and vaccines. She's disease-free, boostered up and de-flea'ed. She is also a non-stop love machine and more doglike in her mannerisms than a cat. In other words, she'll cling to you for life. Mariah is fostering her but she needs a permanent home:

After the partay, we wandered around the Day of the Dead display next door:

Trick or treating was a hoot. The halloween displays were fiercely competitive, and one of our neighbors even ran a cotton candy machine. Dayum. Swarms of kids came out in miserably cold weather, although they pooped out after an hour. In my day, we would trick or treat until folks ran out of candy and the bottoms fell out of our bags. Kids these days are sorry amateurs.

Sunday was a relaxing retreat spent mostly playing the new Ratchet and Clank. I also whipped up an awesome batch of quinoa salad for the week. Will post the recipe later. If I remember. Which I probably won't. So, real quick, it's 1 cup of quinoa cooked in 2 cups of boiling water, some toasted slivered almonds, sliced green onions, lots of grated carrot, chopped flat leaf parsley all tossed in a dressing made up of 1 & 1/2 TB canola oil, 2 TB low sodium Tamari, 2 tsp. cider vinegar, 1 tsp kosher salt and juice of 1 small lemon.

I only had two fun-sized candy bars. A Snickers and a Milky Way. They were good, but Mitchell's pumpkin ice cream beats them silly. I'm going to try...real hard...to make that ~~pint~~ half gallon last til Saturday at least.

Otherwise, still working out as usual. Still eating well, with the exception of drinking some calories on the weekends. *shrugs*

Wednesday Weigh-In: 10/28/09 & HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2009-10-28T20:35:00.008-04:00

147.6 lbs. Down again from the gain last week, and weighing little less than the week before if we're splitting hairs here.

Weight loss lately is like a series of loops slowly moving one way. There's a gain, some overlap, a loss, a slight gain, and then another loss again. Oh, I'm not complaining. Rather, it's interesting how things have developed lately. I look thinner and more toned since August . I recently added a pair of sweet retro size 8 Calvin Klein jeans to the wardrobe and must say that I look pretty damn good in them. Physically, I feel more balanced, strong and just *in control* of the body. It's a pretty neat feeling that I look forward to getting used to as part of my normal life.

But enough of that....

This weekend is THE bestest holiday of the year. It is also the first Halloween in 10+ years where I am not obese. But that does not mean I'm running to buy a "sexy" costume for this year. Um, no. Those skeezy, cheap costumes aren't nearly as good as quality lingerie and fetish wear that's out there in specialty shops and websites if the ladies (and gents) really wanted to get their freak on. And why be sexy just one night? It's like only giving to charity during Christmas.

Our Halloween tradition is to dress up as a couple from a B-movie. It's a fun challenge to hunt garage sales and thrift stores to find the right materials for a costume that no way in Hell would be mass marketed and sold at a Halloween USA.

Back in '07, Bob and I dressed up as Dr. Phibes and Vulnavia from The Abominable Dr. Phibes:

Last year, we went as doomed zombie motorcycle lovers from Psychomania:

And this year, we decided to push the definition of B-movie couple and will transform ourselves into Alan and Orville from one of my *favorite* zombie movies, Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things. I'm going to go drag as Alan, and Bob is my zombie bitch Orville. Here are some screen shots from my cherished DVD copy:

Not surprisingly, I couldn't find those tasty pants anywhere. Instead, I've spent the last two nights painting these stripes on a pair of white pants. The moustache wouldn't have been hard to pull off if I had just decided on this costume a month ago. No wax, no problem. Bob got his suit and makeup and all he needs is the bridal veil. We'll be coming out at the WCSB Halloween masquerade this Saturday. I. Cannot. Wait.

Happy Halloween!

So, About Last Weekend

2009-10-22T18:12:00.012-04:00

Finally finished a long stretch of work at the office with the filing of a brief a couple hours ago. *whew*

So, about last weekend....

A friend gave us passes for loge seating at the Metallica concert last Thursday. We entered the loge to find it stocked with piping hot burgers, pizza, brats, wings and other very bad things. And booze. And it was free. You know, there used to be a time during my punk-ass youth when I would scowl in disgust that the upper crusts who would lounge comfortably at rock concerts, thinking they were corporate scum and weren't keeping it real. Well, it's true. It's not like Metallica is keeping it real either. So, no guilt about that.

But guilt over bad eating and drinking helped reign me in during what would have otherwise been lustful orgy. I did manage to find one semi-healthy food item: A giant, phallic, genetically engineered roasted jalapeno. I took half of it and Sugar took the other half and stuck it in a hot dog bun. Thems was good eats!

Our weekend in Maryland was swell, even though the weather was cold, rainy and generally craptastic. We all competed in a pumpkin baking contest at the Renfrew Pumpkin Fest, preparing the entries the night before.

The pumpkin I grew in the garden was a bust. It was hard as a stone, had unnaturally pale flesh and was generally creepy-looking:

Bob made PUMPKIN ENCHILADAS!:

And Bridget made pumpkin rolls with a secret ingredient*:

I whipped together some gluten-free pumpkin squares made with garbanzo bean, sorghum and rice flour. However, with the cream cheese frosting, they were most definitely not "healthy.":

Competition at the contest was fierce. One lady even crafted caramel leaves on her pumpkin puffs.:

We were anxiously awaiting the judges. When Bob gets nervous, he hitches his drawers. I fart in reverse:

One of the judges loved Bob's enchiladas so much that he actually got up and helped himself to seconds. Sadly, the other two judges disapproved. The Pennsylvania Dutch were not ready for Bob's pumpkin enchiladas. Too provocative. I even heard one of the blue hair competitors nasally inquire, "Wheeeeeere's the pumpkin? I don't see any pumpkin in that."

Bridget did take first place! And I got third.

Despite all of the temptation, I did not indulge in the baked goods for sale. I did have a nice bowl of hot black bean soup and some cider, though. I did not, however, workout for over 4 days. Kinda hard to do and it was too cold for much activity. Per usual, I did drink in some calories. Of course.

Goji had a great time as well, enjoying her extended play date with the other dogs. But at the end of the day, she was still a mama's girl. I think she's taking on a few uncanny human characteristics. Scary:

*Ground cardamom seeds

(Belated) Wednesday Weigh-In 10/21/09 & Pumpkin Love

2009-10-22T11:23:00.002-04:00

So how did my four day weekend (which included a fully catered and open-bar loge at the Metallica concert) go? Let the scale speak to that: 148.4 lbs.

Part of our weekend was spent competing in a pumpkin cooking contest. The results of that contest...and for Bobzilla's awesome *pumpkin enchiladas*, click here.

Wanted to post yesterday, but have been busy with two trials. Those are done and now it's catch up with all the dead trees and emails that have accumulated in my absence.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 10/14/09

2009-10-14T13:12:00.002-04:00

Today I'm at 147.8 lbs. Down over a pound from last week and moving in the right direction. Ok.

Can't write much. Swamped at the office and then we're off for a little trip to hang with a friend near Bal'more.

Honeycrisp apples are on sale at Giant Eagle for 99 cents/lb. Yowza! That's about $2 off per pound, and these sweet things are the size of baby heads.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 10/7/09 and Poopsicles.

2009-10-07T17:58:00.005-04:00

149.00. Inneresting.

Maybe next week, I'll sprout an appendage.

On the Jillian front, I can do 2 sets of walking planks without my lips turning blue. And I've introduced deltoid weight lifting to my regimen last week. I love telling the hubs about my "delts" because he snickers and seems somewhat embarassed. We didn't even know women had delts, believing it was a penis thing.

On the clothing front, I went shopping. I could button up a pair of 8's, but there was some sad shroomage showing. Got a little more to go. But, I did manage to score $5 sweats at Tarjay. Suh-weet!

On the food front, this new peanut ginger sauce in my veggie rice bowls produced a thick toxic fume at the office that will take weeks to vaporize. I'm nobody's friend there for the moment.

Wednesday Weigh-in: 9/30/09 and Mental Transition

2009-09-30T16:48:00.002-04:00

Another maintain at 148.4 pounds. And round and round I still go. "Look kids...Big Ben. Parliament."

I'm not totally ready to conclude this is a plateau. For one, my newest clothes are fitting looser. This new fitness routine with Jillian is hammering my body. Food intake hasn't changed (except for adding more healthy fats to the diet), although I am much, much hungrier now. Probably because of the increased physical intensity. Maybe I need to eat more. Maybe not. For now, I'm just gonna be patient and tweak here and there and see how the body adjusts.

This calm, accepting attitude wasn't what I was feeling this morning, though. I first reacted to seeing no loss for several weeks with a great deal of frustration. A black cloud hung over me all morning.

And then I bitch slapped myself later. I'm in the goal-ish range already. Yeah, I'd like to move down to a size 8, maybe drop another 10 pounds, but I'm almost there already (there was a time last year where I was happy if I could just get to size 14). The eating and fitness regimen I've been committed to isn't going to be much different in maintenance, so it's not like I'm working harder or softer by any significant degree. It's funny how the bathroom scale can play trixsie with the head.

I'll still be pissed if there's no improvement next week, tho.

And a slothful child shall lead them...

2009-09-25T19:25:00.007-04:00

MizFit has reminded us that tomorrow is National Health and Fitness Day. A day when we're supposed to corral the family together and be active. In the name of physical fitness and all.

For some of us, tomorrow will be no different than any other. I'm still going to get up, workout, go on several walks with the dog and the hubs. No special day here. Everyday (except Sunday) is worship.

But what about some of ya'll that haven't found that will lately to get up and move? What are you waiting for? Motivation? The arrival of the Mojo Express? The second heart attack? Like the oft-preached about Second Coming, that motivation may not arrive in time to save your ~~fat ass~~ soul. Tomorrow is as good as any to make a change.

Or not. In some circles, sloth is considered a positive trait, like so:

Of course, I feel like Kevin many, many times a day as well. Thank goodness there is no real HSN or I would have been in real trouble!

Wednesday Weigh-In 9/23/2009 and Zombieland

2009-09-23T18:05:00.010-04:00

148.6. Yup. This month has been a prolonged maintenance dress rehearsal. Better results next week, I'm sure. I hope. But I'm relieved to see that prolonged fun with sensible eating and exercise hasn't cost me a gain. The future in maint'nance land is looking bright.

Per usual, tho, no regrets. This Saturday was the semi-annual Zombie Walk. And Lacey's wedding day. Luckily, her wedding was at noon and the reception at 6:30, so there was plenty of time in between to zombie worship.

Before I was zombiefied:

And after. I clean up pretty good:

The volunteer makeup artist, who also does makeup for Bloodview Haunted House (I'm lucky!), did the work. Here's a close-up of his craft:

Zombie Walk itself was a hoot, of course. The weather was perfect for the undead invasion:

And then we were off to the reception, no time to wash off the make-up. And why waste such great artwork? We had a blast at the post-nuptial party:

And then on Monday, my dog and I almost got killed by this tree branch that fell on the sidewalk in front of us. Residual zombie powers must've made us deathproof:

Lee has written about recent tree attacks on her, those close to her and others. This shit's too uncanny to be just a coincidence. The tree conspiracy is real.

Finally, we saw an advance screening of Zombieland last night. Eff'n hell-arious. Except the one actor who plays the geeky guy was channeling way to much Michael Cera in his performance. Still, it's a must see. But a warning...there are fast-moving zombies. Ick.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 9/16/09 and the Official End of Summer

2009-09-16T17:23:00.002-04:00

Does a .2 lb loss really count as a loss? Nah, I didn't think so either. I hesitate to say that with today's scale reading of 148.4 pounds I'm in a plateau because that would imply I had been trying to lose weight. Evidence this weekend strongly suggests anything but a weight-loss state of mind.

This past Saturday, Bobzilla and I spent the night at the Riverside Drive-In (located in a skeezy little burg outside of Pittsburgh) for the annual Super Monster Rama quadruple feature picture show. This drive-in event marks the official end of summer. We stayed up practically all night watching B-grade horror movies while eating sub-par concession stand food. It was all kinds of fun, and I'm thankful that there are still drive-ins that run cool shows like this. It was like reliving our childhood/teenage years, only the backseats in these newer cars aren't conducive to drive-in horizontal action *wink wink*. Bob wrote more about this year's Monster Rama on his blog. Check it out for his review and trailers.

Sunday we were pretty much spent. After eating a nasty breakfast that we comped from the hotel (their way of saying "sorry" for charging us a room with a dirty bathroom), we trudged on back home. Too tired to cook and feeling this perverted sense of entitlement after that insulting breakfast, we ate freakishly large grilled cheese sandwiches at Melt. Some drinks that day might have also been consumed. Cider. Maybe a glass of vinho verde or two.

So, yeah, this may or may not explain the ho-hum results on the scale this morning.

Fool me once, shame on NBC. Fool me twice....

2009-09-15T19:52:00.002-04:00

Last season was the first time I watched Biggest Loser. I quickly learned that it is the biggest, unhealthiest time waster on TV, next to America's Next Top Idol. Shameless product placement. Dubious weight loss techniques. Fourteen minutes of questionably substantive material padded out to two hours. After last season, I vowed "No More!"

I will not watch the new Biggest Loser.

I will not watch the new Biggest Loser.

I will not watch the new Biggest Loser.

I will not....

Oh shit. It's on.

BRB

Deja Frakkin' Vu

2009-09-10T10:43:00.002-04:00

This morning I dropped a jumbo-sized bottle of mouthwash square on the same little toe I broke last month.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 9/9/09 & Reintroducing the No-Nos

2009-09-09T13:19:00.003-04:00

With the scale reading 148.6 pounds this morning (about a pound loss), it looks like the train is moving in the right direction again. But for Jillian's workouts, I probably would have reported another maintain or gain following a 4 day holiday weekend that *may* have involved copious amounts of beer & brats, amongst other things. I mean, with 3 picnics and a festival to attend, what's a flogger to do?

Now it wasn't all just eatin' and drinkin'. We went to the local Oktoberfest, where we cheered at the wiener dog races and listened to polka bands singing happily about beer, kielbasa and babes. I "danced" with an African Drum Dance troupe and watched French Can Can dancers for the first (and last) time. We saw the new film Extract, which was about as entertaining as Office Space. We also saw Martyrs on DVD, which was quite excellent but not recommended for the squeamish.

Over the past few weeks, I've been reintroducing oil and coffee into my regular diet. I was really just too strict with omitting the olive and canola oils from my foods. Not wanting to get a chemical peel/face lift before I'm 45, and wanting to maintain proper digestive movement, I figured some healthy allowance of fats would be a good thing. It was a little hard at first, admittedly. But, I'm learning to loosen up and it's getting better. For example, my lunch today was a homemade quinoa salad made with veggies from the garden (apparently, bunnies don't like peppers), toasted almonds, balsamic vinegar, honey, a little tamari soy sauce and dijon mustard. And enough olive oil to make the whole bowl glisten. *gulp*

Also, I'm having a cup of coffee during my pre-workout walks with the dog. I gotta say, it's really helped jump start my mornings. Bad or not, I think the morning coffee is here to stay for a while.

Oh God, what's next? Sour cream? Cheese? Scandalous!

Getting back to the Jillian workout, this DVD is sweet. It's cut my workout time by about 30 minutes, but I'm still getting the core and lower body workouts that I used to devote extra time on separately. And I'm sweating bullets. Efficient! I alternate the video every other day, riding the recumbent bike on the off days.

I better fit in Jillian all I can this month, because come October, she'll be on hiatus while I play this on the bike! *squeals*:

Wednesday Weigh-In: 9/2/2009 & Getting My Ass Shredded

2009-09-02T17:56:00.003-04:00

I picked up one of those Jillian Michaels DVDs--Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism--at the local FYE. It's on sale for $9.99, satisfying my cheapskate brain center. I'm not a JM Kool-Aid drinker, but I also read enough from other fitness bloggers to conclude that her workouts deliver a proper ass whuppin'. So I tried this workout this morning. And got my ass handed to me. It's comprised of interval training using cardio and strength training without equipment.

I did burpees for the first time. And walking planks. Walking planks are nasty mo fo's.

I never sweated so much in an hour. Or used such profanity. But I like it and will do it again like the desperate loser I am.

And this couldn't have come at a better time. I'm at 149.4 lbs. as of this morning, which means I've basically been maintaining for the last 3 weeks or so. The stationary bike's been boring me silly for the last couple of months. I tried everything from reading novels, changing workout music and even watching movies. But after finding myself watching Frost Nixon while biking and not breaking a sweat the whole time (duh!), it was time to switch things up. And not a moment too soon, because next on the DVD queue is Gandhi.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 8/26/09 & New Workout!

2009-08-26T19:57:00.003-04:00

Well, I'm not totally thrilled that the scale told me I was down only 1/2 pound this week, to 149.2 lbs. While I suspect that the less-than-stellar loss has nothing to do with bad eating or fitness slacking, I'll spare you details about my pooping. Instead, I'm going to share a new workout that Bobzilla found for me that will really shake things up:

The Vinnie Jones Attack Cardio!

Attack Cardio with Vinnie Jones from Vinnie Jones

Size 6 on an All-BK Diet? Read it here first!

2009-08-23T10:59:00.005-04:00

Friday night found us at a local Burger King. Yeah, I know. After checking their neat-o interactive nutrition menu on their website, I ordered the BK Veggie Burger w/o mayo or cheese. It was actually pretty good. I wasn't too worried about carbs and refined flours in the bun because it has the weight and density of air. With the veggie burger, I ordered a side salad. This is my impression of a BK garden side salad, sans cheese and croutons:

Well, it could've been worse.

While waiting in line at the supermarket last night, this magazine cover caught my attention:

Size 6? Really? Well, maybe she is, and the ample chest area has skewed my perspective. Either this is another example of vanity sizing, or an illustration of just how differently proportioned we all are and that ultimately size matters less than weight and measurement. Or a little bit of both. There's a photographic height and weight chart on the web that features pictures of real men and women. It's fascinating to navigate.

This song never gets old for me...it is my go-to warmup workout song:

And how are these for some killer lyrics (taken from Neko Case's website):

THIS TORNADO LOVES YOU
Neko Case 2008

MY LOVE I AM THE SPEED OF SOUND
I LEFT THEM MOTHERLESS, FATHERLESS
THEIR SOULS DANGLING INSIDE-OUT FROM THIER MOUTHS...
BUT IT'S NEVER ENOUGH
I WANT YOU

I CARVED YOUR NAME ACROSS THREE COUNTIES
AND GROUND IT IN WITH BLOODY HIDES
BROKEN NECKS WILL LINE THE DITCH
TILL YOU "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP THIS MADNESS!"
I WANT YOU

I HAVE WAITED WITH A GLACIER'S PATIENCE
SMASHED EVERY TRANSFORMER WITH EVERY TRAILER
TILL NOTHING WAS STANDING
SIXTY-FIVE MILES WIDE

BUT STILL YOU ARE NOWHERE, STILL YOU ARE NOWHERE, NOWHERE IN SIGHT
COME OUT TO MEET ME, RUN OUT TO MEET ME
COME INTO THE LIGHT

CLIMB THE BOXCARS TO THE ENGINE
THROUGH THE SMOKE AND TO THE SKY

YOUR RAILS COULD ALWAYS OUTRUN MINE SO I
I PICKED THEM UP AND CRASHED THEM DOWN
IN A MOMENT CLOSE TO NOW
CAUSE I MISS, I MISS, I MISS, I MISS
HOW YOU'D SIGH YOURSELF TO SLEEP
WHEN I'D RAKE THE SPRINGTIME ACROSS YOUR SHEETS

CHORUS

MY LOVE, I'M AN OWL ON THE SILL IN THE EVENING
BUT MORNING FINDS YOU
STILL WARM AND BREATHING
THIS TORNADO LOVES YOU, WHAT WILL MAKE YOU BELIEVE ME?

Goji is A-OK!

2009-08-21T19:30:00.003-04:00

She slept fine, didn't puke and didn't try to walk into walls. She even took Bob on a run at the park. Much better than forcing syrup of ipecac down her throat.

Thanks for indulging my attention whore moment from last night. You floggers are the best.

I Picked the Wrong Week to Stop Sniffing Glue

2009-08-20T22:44:00.007-04:00

I won a major appeal for my client today.

But that doesn't matter.

'Cuz right now I'm googling "mushrooms" and "poisonous" and "dogs". Yup. I was out with Gogji earlier today, putting together a pepper pot bouquet from my garden for a friend in my building and didn't notice the large bunch of orange mushrooms that seemingly sprung up after the rain.earlier today. Orange chanterelle-like 'shrooms within Goji's parameter. I didn't notice the 'shrooms until I was coming back in the house with her. The fungi looked disturbed. Like a dog might've eaten them. That kind of disturbed.

Bobzilla thinks I'm paranoid and should go to bed. I'm watching that stupid dog like a hawk for any signs of illness. Female anxiety trumps male whatevs every time. Right? So, it's gonna be a long night as I sit watch over the fur baby.

In the meantime, I've been checking my site stats, inspired by some interesting stats on Trish's blog. Apparently, my blog comes up a lot on searches by people looking for workout playlists. If I can make one person from the Midwest run the treadmill or spin while listening to the Butthole Surfer's "To Parter," my good works obligation on this Earth is fulfilled.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 8-19-09 and grumbles

2009-08-19T13:06:00.002-04:00

I'm the exact weight I was last week: 149.6, which makes me neither happy nor disappointed. The wedding photo from the last post was just a single snapshot of the trouble I was getting into this past weekend, so to maintain is surely not the worst result.

Got a major case of the grumpies today that are caused in part by:

lack of sleep. Goji, who insists on sleeping with us, has been a restless sleeper lately, tossing & turning & scratching & kicking.
painful gas brought on by either Bobzilla's matar aloo (an otherwise delicious and spicy Indian peas and potato dish) or my rice bowls. Either way, biking this morning was difficult as a result.
both foot injuries have given me a strange gait when I walk. On the foot with the broken toe, I favor the inside of the foot to keep weight of the toe. On the other foot, I shuffle clumsily on my heel. Picture a frankenstein duck.
the air conditioning units in our windows have been leaking water everywhere. Bobzilla figured out the cause, but not without some considerable expense as a consequence of the water damage.
I can't seem to concentrate long enough to get anything done today. Probably a side effect of all of the above.

Oh well. Better times this week, I'm sure.

I Just Can't Catch an Eff'n Break

2009-08-16T23:33:00.006-04:00

I should have known not to get all cocky with the before and after pics last night and shit.

While we were at a wedding tonight (of the particularly Greek festive type), I managed to get my other foot damaged under the crushing spike heel of an unsuspecting guest. Here's how the tootsie looks now, a few hours after the impact:

Yeah, that's gonna give me some problems tomorrow. What the pic doesn't show is a lumpy swelling about the size of a small egg. Biking just might not be in the immediate future. Crud.

And just when the other foot was healing from the toe damage. See...the little toe was just starting to return to normal:

But the injury was worth it to get this shot of the happy newlyweds, who were the sweet center of this dance circle. Opa!:

But, really, Bobzilla's hotness took all of the pain away. *le sigh*

Going to put on safety pads and head off to bed. Thanks, everyone for the supportive comments yesterday. I'll cling to them as I'm recovering from the amputation. *air kisses*

So, yeah, about that...

2009-08-15T00:45:00.011-04:00

I guess I reached my 100 lb. mark? Wow, who knew. I'm still trying to get used to this new flesh suit, seeing bones and clavicles and veins and wrinkles I never saw before. A mixed bag of "aahs" and "ewws." Yet, I just never stopped to think how far I've come.

You know the old adage, never look back? I call bullshit on that. Looking back is the injection we sometimes need to keep moving forward. This past Monday, MizFit posted a neato article on the overlooked strengths of looking back and celebrating past accomplishments. And it got me to thinking the rest of the week about my past...my fatso past. Don't get me wrong. I was happy even in my fat suit. Life doesn't stop simply because you're carrying around a little extra baggage. So, I didn't stop having fun, didn't stop lovin', didn't stop living.

But, all of this talk about looking backward came to a head tonight while I was coming up with ideas for a retro dress to wear at a cocktail party that Bobzilla and I are hosting in a couple weeks. While brainstorming tonight, I came up with the retard idea of wearing my old prom dress to the party. I fetched it from storage and tried it on. To my surprise, the cheap-ass hooker dress fit. Junior size 11 and it fit. Granted, the zipper was a little tricky in some parts, but it fit. I am slackjawed still. Not just at the fashion sensibility that was 1987 (junior prom), but that I fit my near-middle aged ass into it. Whoa.

In anticipation of this blog, I dug up our old prom picture. But then I found a pre-wedding picture that I remembered being especially embarrassed about because I looked so "fat." Here's that pre-wedding photo, circa 1994:

A couple years ago, I would have been grateful to be back to that weight, I had gotten so much bigger. Yet, even at the time that pic was taken, I was so ashamed, I wouldn't show it to anybody. I kept it on the fridge to remind me not to overeat. *snickers*

Yet, that picture apparently was not motivation enough, because I got much, much bigger. Here's Bobzilla and me from about 4 years ago:

My, aren't we the picture of health?

Here's a really flattering shot:

(and yes, my hair was really that long. It doesn't take a PhD to figure out what I was unconsciously trying to hide with all that hair...and cigarettes...and large clothing).

Oh, I have so many more very embarrassing pics, but let's not drag this out.

About those prom pics....Here's Bobzilla and me circa 1987:

And here I am tonight:

K. This should keep me motivated for a little while longer.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 8/12/09 & Adventures in Lunch

2009-08-12T11:20:00.004-04:00

I'm finally on the other side of the scale: 149.6 lbs! That's down 1 & 1/2 pounds from last week. *whew*

Lunch has been quite the adventure over the last few weeks. I've taken a break from my standard brown rice/veggie lunch delights to try different things. First, being lazy, I decided to have bunless veggie patties with rice and veggies. At first it seemed fine until 2-3 days into it, I noticed that everything was just rushing through my system. I wasn't sick, I just wasn't digesting anything either. I felt tired and light headed. As it turned out, it was the damned soy in those burgers. Really, we weren't meant to digest soy in the way and quantities that we do (soy seems just as prevalent in our diets as corn/corn syrup), especially in its non-fermented form. When you think about what it takes to make tofu (basically, like making soap), you gotta ask yourself whether there aren't better, more natural food choices out there. I could turn this post into a rant and cut and past research on the issue, but I'll save that for a future blog.

Then, I moved on to local restaurant options for lunch. At first I thought I found the Holy Grail in the form of Subway's little known veggie patty subs. And they were yummy--hot veggie patty on whole grain bread with tons of veggies and spicy mustard. Mmmm. And it didn't rot my guts like straight up soy burgers did, although there was some soy in it. However, all nutritional information was suspiciously absent from Subway's website. After much researching from other sources, I learned that it's fattier than you think and contains cheese and eggs. So much for being veggie. I don't mind eggs, but I cannot verify if the eggs are free range and organic. I'm not for putting anything in my mouth that was squeezed out of the nether regions of a genetically-modified, anti-biotic pumped, caged chicken that has no will to live.

Now, I tried being creative this week with found ingredients in my fridge. What I came up with is a yet-unnamed concoction made from scrambled "good" eggs, onions and black beans garnished with hot sauce and queso fresco, served over salad mix with brown rice cakes. While the final product looks not unlike engine sludge, it was quite tasty. Score! On the other hand, I just can't do eggs like that everyday.

Last night, we went shopping at my favorite--albeit long-distance--grocery store, Mustard Seed Market. After enjoying a dinner of broccoli & cauliflower dill salad and splitting a large asiago chicken breast with the hubs from their deli, I picked up some makings for an awesome veggie & rice bowl using this spicy peanut and ginger sauce. Can't wait to taste the results!

As I'm writing this, I'm enjoying a large, plump plum that I also picked up at the Market. Thanks for the reminder, Jelly Bean!

My little toe is still broke, but hasn't really interfered anymore. Maybe it'll just fall off one day. Sometimes evolution works way too slow.

Wednesday Weigh-In 8/5/09: Eh.

2009-08-05T17:01:00.002-04:00

Broken toe + 4 day of sinnin' = 1/2 pound gain on the scale today. 151.2 lbs. My bathroom scale is like a kiddie park roller coaster ride here lately.

Weeeeeee!

Why, exactly, do we have little toes anyway?

2009-08-01T00:25:00.005-04:00

Went shopping at A.J. Wright this afternoon and picked up two bags of clothing for $31.00, which contained:

3 bras
1 pair of Vera Wang (her perfume stinks) jeans
1 pair of Liz Claiborne (snob) workout pants
1 sports bra

Yeah!

I didn't try the clothes on because I was in a hurry, per usual. As it turned out, I got skinny jeans. *gasp* By accident. I'm wearing them. Size 10'ers. I gotta say, I'm not a fan of the skinny jeans. My ankles don't move so freely. While they lift my butt and thus cause Bobzilla to salivate, the jeans triggered strange tingling not unlike blood being cut off to my extremities. More importantly, I'm just too old for skinny jeans. They are best left on the bods of 20-somethings and emo boys with a surplus of white belts. I just don't want to die from blood clots. Ya know?

After that shopping blowout, we rushed home to meet the plumber who has been on a mission to discover why water keeps leaking under our bathroom. Fair enough. But, I kept telling the dude that the tub needed more grouting around the edges, but I'm a girl, so of course he bought supplies and did work that addressed everything but what was painfully obvious to anyone with a vag. And, of course, the leaking persists.

Goji had her first "accident" today. On one of our new bedroom rugs that bears a striking resemblance to grass. I don't blame her, and I'm not upset. I feel like we reached a milestone with our doggie, like we passed a real test. I spent tonight scrubbing the rug, beaming like a proud parent.

But, really, that's not why I'm blogging tonight. I am in serious pain, which in turn is pumping adrenaline into my system and keeping me up past my bedtime. The kind of pain you can only get when you drop a gallon Coleman thermos filled with fruit punch & ice on your little toe. Which is exactly what I did while preparing a Friday night munchie package for our drive-in date. Yeah, I crushed that little piggy. Crushed it real good.

The funniest--and saddest--thing was when I was searching the internets about broken little toes, and I came across a runner's message boards. Apparently, broken little toes are common. They just tape the suckers up and keep running like a broken bone is no big deal. Hard core.

So, the drive-in date was cancelled (bummer), and we stayed at home watching the rest of the first season of True Blood on DVD while my foot was propped up over the sofa. Oh, and this is why Gogi probably peed on our rug. We shoulda taken her out sooner, but I was boo-hooing over my toe. Bad parents!

My little toe looks like an undercooked blood sausage. I can't wait to see what it looks like tomorrow.

I have it taped to the neighbor toe, who doesn't appreciate the invasion of space. But I gotta do what I can to ensure I'm able to complete my workout tomorrow and then drive to Pittsburgh and attend this Slayer/Marilyn Manson concert that I promised my niece. Why, oh why, do the teenage nieces/nephews look up to us through those ridiculous cool shades? Do they not realize we are dorkier than the kids they shun at their high school?

So, I'm going to google "little toe" and "amputation techniques." I'm done with this already.

Wednesday Weigh-In 7/29/09 & CHUCK!!

2009-07-29T17:56:00.002-04:00

Scale said 150.6 lbs this morning, down 1.8 poundages from last week. I'm storming the 140 gates!

And, for all those who follow his sordid adventures, a report on Chuck's stay with me has just been posted on his blog. Enjoy.

Now, I'm going to finish this dish of gelato and walk the dog!

Awesome 80's Workout!

2009-07-24T17:28:00.004-04:00

I've been obsessed with creating new music playlists for my workouts. I can't listen to the same playlist for more than a few workouts before I quickly tire of it. And I was running out of ideas for some motivational tunage...until last night. While watching Meatballs with Bobzilla, I got to feeling nostalgic.

Remember all of those 80's action movies? The acting was pretty atrocious, to be sure. And the story & dialogue ridiculous, even laughable (every other line in Top Gun is dry-heave worthy). But the best part of those movies are the cheesy soundtracks. The Jan Hammer-esque drum machines, keyboards and male falsetto vocals seemed to appropriately undermine the testosterone-laden energy the songs tried so desperately to convey. Yet, common among all of the songs was the theme of staying strong in the face of adversity, of fighting through to the end. How perfect for a workout!

Here is my ultimate Cheesey 80's Soundtrack Workout playlist:

1. To warm up, let's start off with something a little less threatening for our stretches. Like, say, "You Got the Touch" from the animated Transformers movie. (Yes, that song was later covered in the movie Boogie Nights)

2. To start the heart pumping, "Never Say Die," by King Kobra from the awesome Iron Eagles is a great transition song.

3. Now, to reach maximum heart rate, nothing does the trick more effectively than "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins, from Top Gun, which would be perfectly paired with the elliptical:

4. Getting tired from riding that bike? Here's some inspiration from Frank Stallone, who reminds you that you may be down, but you are "Far From Over," from the underrated Staying Alive:

5. Pat Benatar's "Invincible" from the movie The Legend of Billy Jean will help you finish that last set of tricep curls:

6. Channel Stallone in Over the Top as you work those pull-ups, courtesy of Sammy Hagar's "Winner Takes it All"

7. Would Rocky stop running simply because he was winded or had excruciating cramps? Would he stop going into the ring simply because it might kill him? Hell, no. Grit your teeth, suck it up and keep going. As Robert Tepper wisely observes, there's "No Easy Way Out."* And there's no shortcut home:

8. As we cool down and stretch, envision yourself as Ahnold's character Kaminski in Raw Deal after you just handed the asses of Patrovita and his henchmen back to them. Yeah, that's some hard work. Now breathe deeply and bring your hips back to your neutral spine....

*"Eye of the Tiger" is for pansies. Save it for pilates.

P.S.

I'll be circulating some ideas for the Winter 2010 Flog 'O Rama shortly. So much fun!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 7/22/09 & Shtuff

2009-07-22T19:49:00.005-04:00

It seems that these weekly weigh-ins have started to expand beyond simple scale readings and more like reports of everything I've been doing lately crammed into one weekly post. This has been one hella busy summer, and I underestimated my available free time. Every week I think things have wound down, but I ignore the calendar Bobzilla has hanging on the office wall behind me. That calendar is scrawled with notes, appointments and events for every weekend since May.

For instance, there's a party this Friday, the Yorktown Lanes Hot Rod Rock 'n Bowl this Saturday, bridal shower Sunday afternoon and Horror of '59's final show opening for Daikaiju at the Beachland Sunday night. Then there are weddings, concerts, travelling and more weddings coming up through September. Whoa.

So, I have no idea how often I'm going to be updating this blog beyond the weekly weigh-ins. I like being able to hop on the computer Tuesday or Friday night to just update random stuff or post new recipes, but I don't know if that's being realistic. I guess I'll follow Josh Homme's advice and just go with the flow.

The Health Front

I upped the weights for my tricep strength training to 15 pounds. Yeah, not exactly badass. But I can't handle anything heavier at the moment without breaking form. And my arms are sore. Guess that's a good sign.

Current workout playlist (mixed tempo songs to fit with interval training sandwiched by warm-up and cool-down tunes):

"This Tornado Loves You" Neko Case
"Flaming Telepaths" Blue Oyster Cult
"Barracuda" Heart
"Never Let Me Down Again" Depeche Mode
"Be Aggressive" Faith No More
"Consoler of the Lonely" The Raconteurs
"What Love Is" Rocket From the Tombs
"Spellbound" Siouxsie & the Banshees
"Die, Die My Darling" The Misfits
"Dead Moon Night" Dead Moon
"Burning Beard" Clutch
"What Love Is" Rocket From the Tombs
"Panic Switch" Silver Sun Pickups (the only good song they have. This band needs to get rid of that mouth breather of a lead singer)
"To Parter" Butthole Surfers
"Sensual World" Kate Bush (this would make a great yoga song...if I did yoga)

The Dog Front

Our first week with Goji turned out fairly well. She was a bit nervous and maladjusted the first few days--growling at the in-laws and neighbors, barking at other dogs and men in general, chasing the kittehs, etc. However, she's settled in nicely now and has gone on play dates with other dogs and behaves on her walks. Bobzilla takes her to a park almost everyday,and gets in his exercise on the fitness trail with her. His legs are throbbing from the runs. I usually walk her about a mile (before and after work) everyday, as well, which helps get my heartrate up before the workouts. Who knew Goji would be such a great fitness tool!

The Chuck Front

I got custody of Chuck the rubber cock this weekend and showed him all the redneck delights that Dragway 42's Rock 'n Race had to offer. It was magical.

On the Scale Front

152.4 this morning. A miniscule loss, more like a maintain. That's cool, though. I've been faithful with the workouts and eating per usual, so the pendulum will eventually swing my way once again.

For Dina & Trish & other Floggers

2009-07-22T13:07:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Cleveland!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 7/15/09 & A New Family Member!

2009-07-15T14:46:00.003-04:00

Meet Goji, our new goggie!

We adopted this sweet 4 year-old pug/shepherd mix (i.e. mutt) from an outfit that rescued her from the county pound. They gassed her 4 puppies and she was next.

We are so lucky to have her. She's obedient, extremely affectionate, laid back and sickingly cute. Her dog farts practically smell like fresh-baked cookies, although I'm sure that will change once our honeymoon period is over. I can't wait to introduce her to a certain rubber chicken that should be arriving in the mail any second. *ahem*

Apparently, taking her on walks has boosted the weight loss. Scale said 152.6 this morning, down 1.8 pounds from last week. Cool.

I Would Starve in the Wild

2009-07-09T23:15:00.005-04:00

K, so I purchased a bottle of rabbit repellent and zealously sprayed the hell out of what remains of my "garden" while calling the rabbit every Jewish, Italian, Irish and East Cleveland name in the book. The spray smells like fermented taint, so it's gotta work.

Anyway, as I turn around to walk away, my foot almost slams down on this:

(shamelessly swiped from Danzig, if only for the sheer irony of someone named Danzig taking cute baby bunny pictures)

Shit.

The bunny never ran away and instead cowered below me, looking up with those unnerving big baby bunny eyes. Dammit!

In the span of 90 seconds, I went from a raging Most Wanted on PETA's shitlist to a jelly-spined, baby-talking sucker who fed it the last of my organic baby carrots. This, knowing full well that I'm only inviting the entire bunny clan to make a bu-fay of my garden. And I wasn't the only one sickened by the lepus fever. Bobzilla was soon on the ground cooing and making kissy faces.

Darwin would be ashamed.

In other Ohio animal vs. garden news, an area 75-year old woman found a fawn ravaging her garden and beat it to death with a shovel. Flower bed = 1; Baby deer = 0

I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned from this.

Wednesday Weigh-in: 7/8/2009 & Needing a Vacation from the Vacation

2009-07-08T22:47:00.005-04:00

Well, Heavy Rebel was quite the experience. Four days of drunken debauchery with friends and strangers alike, set to some great music, was well worth the 1.4 pound gain on the scale this morning. Yup, I'm back up to 154.4, the same weight I've been since I started vacation season.

Oh sure, I ate my normal healthy way, and worked out at both hotel gyms. But, c'mon. Ain't no way a couple hours of exercise and healthy eating is going to negate the grapefruit juice & tequila. Or the Strongbow. Or wine. Or whiskey. Or many, many PBRs. Nope.

There's no way I can discuss everything that went on. Some PG-13 pics are uploaded here, for the curious:

Heavy Rebel Pictures

Before I lose my nerve, here's me in that bathing suit, in a most unflattering pose. Just keepin' it realz:

The water was ice cold. After this pic was taken, I squealed like a little girl and ran back to my hotel room for more libations and warm clothing.

And that's that. Things are now back to normal and I'm glad. These road trips and partying were reaching alarming levels.

After work, I gardened for 2 hours pulling weeds and hunting the bunny that destroyed almost all of my tomato plants and ate all of my thai basil. There will be blood. Blood meal, anyway, to repel the furry fiend.

Happy, Shiny Wednesday Weigh-In: 7/1/2009 and LENTIL SALAD!

2009-07-01T22:04:00.006-04:00

Office fire drills gave me a mild case of the bitchies today, almost dampening my Heavy Rebel vibe. But after I got home and set to packing, cooking vaycay meals and doing final hotel bookings (Priceline massages my gambling pleasure spot), the blood pressure went down again.

Hobbes and Sebastian are a bit nervous, though. They know that when Mommy and Daddy fuss around the house and bring out the suitcases, that means that they are going on an extended visit to the grandparents. Again. *growl*

Tonight, I made a batch of gluten-free, vegan, organic lentil salad (mujadara). And, I'm not going to lie. It's all kinds of awesome. And cheap.

Here's the recipe, but I don't have time to calculate the actual nutritional value, so you're on your own:

1 cup dried lentils
2 large onions or 3 medium onions
1/2 tsp. Garam Masala
1/4 tsp. Cumin
1 1/2 cups of cooked brown rice (substitute canola oil for the butter to make it vegan)
Salt
Pepper

Sort and rinse the lentils well. Put in medium saucepan and add enough water to cover the lentils by about 2 inches. Turn heat on high and boil for about 15 minutes.

While lentils are boiling, halve the onions and cut into medium thin slices. Sautee in a hot fry pan with about a tablespoon of canola oil (don't use olive oil since you're cooking at a high temperature). Basically, fry those onions until they are really dark brown, almost black. This is going to take you at least 15-20 minutes. The idea is to cook the onions until they are a dark carmelized paste.

Drain the lentils, add about another cup or so of fresh water and boil again until the lentils are tender. Add the onions, salt and pepper to taste (it's up to you how salty you want this...I didn't use exact measurements), garam masala and cumin. Cook for about another 5 minutes. Add in the rice and cook for another 5 minutes. The end result is this:

Yeah, it looks like mealy dog poo. But it tastes fantastic. It's got great contrasting textures and an umami taste--savory, sweet and a hint of smokiness and that something-something from the aromatic spices in the garam masala and cumin.

Serve the lentil salad warm or at room temperature over a bed of chopped romaine lettuce, cucumbers, red onions, sliced red bell pepper and tomatoes that have been tossed in a light lemon & olive oil dressing.

The dressing was pretty simple:

4 lemons, juiced (red wine vinegar works well as a replacement if the lemons are not your thing)
3/4 cup olive oil
2 cloves crushed garlic
2 teaspoons dried oregano
some chopped fresh mint if you have it, about 1/2 tablespoon or more
some salt
couple pinches of sugar to cut the acidity
ground black pepper

Wisk together to emolsify and voila:

This is so much better than fried starch and mechanically reclaimed chicken that's likely to be sold at the shindig.

Oh, and before I forget and post this tomorrow, giving anyone the impression that I might be scale dodging, I weighed in this morning at an even 153.00 pounds*. That's a 1.4 pound loss from last week. Put another way, that's 3 weeks' worth of Jack S**t's Half Pound Challenges. Call it paying it forward to compensate for the damage I'll be doing this weekend!

I've been working out strictly to music this week and will probably continue to do so in the near future. Video games and watching constant streams of Michael Jackson on all the morning shows couldn't raise my heart rate above 145, even during the peaks of my interval training.

*Sans waxing. No time to groom. Thank goodness that the bottom half of my swimsuit has a skirt edge!

Oh My God

2009-06-30T20:37:00.008-04:00

I bought a swimsuit today. Yup. A 2-piecer. No, not a bikini. I'm not that deluded. But a nice halter top/sweet wraparound skirt thingy.

And I got waterproof mascara--something I haven't done in over 15 years because swimming didn't used to be an option before.

And bikini wax. Which unnerves me because there will be glorious pain. But with all the hair I gotta remove, it'll give me an edge at tomorrow's weigh-in.

Oh, and I forgot to mention earlier that I'm a solid size 10-er now. Yup. And today's clothes orgy at the store confirmed it.

And I failed to post Nashville vacation pics. Well, here's a pic of me in front of the historic Ryman Theater, channeling the spirit of Patsy Cline, who used to smoke on these very steps before her shows:

Finally, meet Peter, this headless fellow I found in my bag 'o carrots. He's a bit of a swisher:

Sorry for my unforgivable absence lately. While I got my interwebs back on at home, I've barely had leisure time between office stuff and settling in at the new place and planning for the next vacation trip.

This weekend, we're off on another multi-state rampage. This time, I'm packing the following in the cooler: baked brown rice, homemade lentil salad (mujadara), veggies, homemade lemon & olive oil dressing, jalapeno baked beans, hummus, carrots and almonds. So, I can pretend to be healthy while sipping from my flask at the festivities. There's going to be a major scale fail when I return, for sure.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 6/24/2009 & Grumbles

2009-06-24T11:08:00.003-04:00

I'm back. I hope. Our home internet was turned back on last night, on a more permanent basis (so we were promised).

We got back a week ago after spending 7 days that seemed more like a multi-state rampage than a vacation. Cleveland to Knoxville, Knoxville to Nashville, Nashville to Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh to Akron, Akron back to Cleveland. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, I was hedonistic. But it was also tiring and ill-timed, as we came back to a lot of unfinished business--namely unpacking, resolving phone & internet issues and replacing & retraining ANOTHER secretary after some *ahem* unfortunate incidents at the office while I was away.

I could go on, but really it's time to move forward. I might post some pictures later today, if anything just to remind myself that I really did have a good time amid all of the hair-straightening dramz.

For all of my sinning, I was punished by a 1.5 gain on the scale when I came back. I worked out at the hotel gym, but that was only for two days. We seemed to have walked everywhere, but let's not kid ourselves. Casual walking doesn't really burn off many calories. One tall boy of PBR would negate about two hours of walking, so there you go. And I don't think I walked as much as it seemed. Really, I spent most of my time with my ass planted in the passenger seat getting a tan on my right arm.

Today the scale said 154.4, which is slightly less than what I weighed before I went on vacation.

And in less than two weeks, we're going to be back on the road again, this time to Winston-Salem for the annual Heavy Rebel Weekender. I'm dooooomed!

In Every Dream Home a Heartache...

2009-06-04T11:10:00.005-04:00

Ahhh...moving and setting up a new love nest sounds romantic, but in reality it blows chunks. All day Sunday was spent moving our crap from a 4th floor walk-up and then cleaning out the old place. Even after hiring 4 movers, it still took over 6 hours. At a buck fifty an hour, it ain't cheap. But, they hauled ass, those sweet young thangs.

Still not unpacked. Still don't have the furniture. The living room furniture wouldn't fit through any door in the house. Why does everything have to be supersized? Anyway, we had to send it back and because I didn't have enough pins for my voodoo dolls in the likeness of the furniture sales weasel and delivery jerks, we had to start over again and buy furniture from a different store. Then the alternator gave out on the car and I had to shell out $600 to get it fixed. And Handy Dude was in and out trying to fix our wiring and ground the outlets. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep the office together because my poor new secretary has been sick. And that's just in one day...yesterday. I was volcanic, so no blog about my weigh-in. Eff that.

Today is a little better. Getting sleep helped.

Scale said 154.6 after threatening a couple times to land on 154.8, down one pound from last week. This after a pint of Strongbow cider and some vino verde last night. Proof positive that stress is a major fat burner.

I could go on, but I'm fatigued from wallowing in yesterday's misery. Time to move on and deal with the newest issues of the day, like: Start drawing up the itinerary and booking hotels for a Tennesee vacation that we're supposed to start on, oh, next Monday.

I Won a Major Award!

2009-05-28T20:17:00.005-04:00

Tricia has bestowed upon me my first--and what is probably the most meaningful--anti-weight loss blog award by a member of the the snarky weight blog trifecta, Tricia. And I didn't even have to nominate myself or whore myself out begging for votes. Kneel, suckas:

But wouldn't you know it, there are strings attached. In order to properly accept Jacks**t's prestigious honor, I gotta work for it and make a list of seven things I admire about Tricia. Great, homework. And I'm right in the middle of my move, packing and cleaning. I ain't got time for this hoo ha! So, here was my initial response to Tricia after reading the fine print:

But screw it. The oven cleaner fumes are forcing me to sit down and take in some oxygen. And, really, how could I refuse?

So, here are 7 things that I totally dig about Tricia:

1. Girl makes me laugh til I practically fart in my desk chair. When I get the alert she's posted a new blog, I put calls on hold. Even when her life sucks at a particular moment, she will find a twisted humorous spin on things and basically try and keep it together rather than fall to a corner and suck her thumb.

2. She doesn't take this whole weight loss thing so deadly serious or view it so narrowly. There is more to getting your shit together than logging meals and workouts and writing the 28th chapter about being trapped in fat hell. It's a process that is as much mental as it is physical.

3. While her cat may be an asshole, I know that deep down inside there is a crazy cat lady in that heart of hers.

4. She makes chiropractors seem ~~almost~~ vag-worthy.

5. If I had to change careers, I would totally work in a cubicle farm with her. And then steal her Buddha.

6. There is no pretense about her, unless she's kept things really masterfully hidden. What you read is what you get.

7. She agrees that hot weather needs to suck it. She is, therefore, right.

8. She's Irish.

Yes, I know that's 8. But I threw an extra one in to make up for the grave error she made when she mentioned "zombie run." Zombies don't run, I don't care what fans of the Dawn of the Dead remake and 28 Days/Weeks Later (and, technically, those dudes are rage-infected, not zombified) say. *flashes slow-moving zombie gang sign*

And to pass the Shitty blog joy along, I nominate Kristi (for being a kick-ass virtual trainer) and Jelly Bean (for her gadget blogs and just being all around awesome)! Now, shower me with love and praise. Time to go back and pack. Ugh.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/27/09

2009-05-27T10:38:00.004-04:00

The scale said 155.6 this morning. "Officially," that's a 2.2 lb. loss from last Wednesday. Really, tho, I'm just relieved that I didn't get punished more harshly for this weekend. Or maybe I wasn't really that bad. I just assume anymore that weekends are free-for-alls. And since this was a 4-day weekend for me, I must've been really bad. If I analyzed it tho, I probably did much better. But, there it is.

I've added Vitamin D to my daily supplement ritual. I should just take Geritol and get it over with. Embracing middle-age is harder than it should be.

Gluten-Free, Vegan Asian Noodle Joy

2009-05-25T19:14:00.007-04:00

With our big move coming up, I decided to take advantage of the holiday to make a large batch of lunch bowls for the rest of the week and next. Either we were out of brown rice or it's been packed, so I went with a veggie noodle dish, and kinda winged it using what was left in the pantry and fridge. The end result was quite pleasing.

Here's the recipe, which makes 5 servings:

1 whole package of 100% buckwheat soba noodles, 12 oz. (Eden Foods makes a brand of organic, gluten-free soba noodle. You'll need about 1 & 1/2 packages for this recipe if making 5 servings, or just use one package and include fried tofu or extra veggies to pad it out)
2-3 "trunks" of broccoli stems (I decapitate the flower heads and steam them or eat them raw separately--Bobzilla refuses to eat stems, so this is a great way to sneak in insoluble fiber)
1/2 bag of baby carrots
1/2 head red cabbage
1/2 head white cabbage
1 medium white onion
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1-2 TB cock sauce, or more depending on how hot you like it
2 TB of low-sodium, wheat-free tamari (San-J is an excellent choice)
1/4 cup organic peanut butter (Giant Eagle's "Nature's Basket" is the one I used)
1 TB canola oil
1/4 cup rice vinegar
1 TB ginger paste

Take all of the vegetables and shred them. Cabbage is easy. Just cut lengthwise on the cutting board. For the carrots & broccoli stems, I run them through the food processor, sideways so you get longish shreds. Otherwise, just cut them into thin matchstick-sized pieces. Now, don't freak out by the butt-load size of veggies. They will cook down and fit with everything.

While cooking the other ingredients, start boiling water in a large pasta pot, with a little salt, and cook the entire package of noodles (usually about 4-5 minutes), drain noodles and rinse with cold water. Have noodles and pasta pot on standby for the finishing stage.

In a large dutch oven or wok, add oil and heat over medium-high heat until hot. Sautee the cabbage and onion for about 3 minutes or so. Add the broccoli and carrots and cook for another 2 minutes. Add the garlic at the end...garlic can brown easily and tastes like caca when over fried.

Then add all of the sauces, peanut butter and ginger paste to the vegetable mixture and stir over low heat until it gets saucy. You may need to add more rice vinegar, or even a little water to thin out.

Put the noodles back in the pasta pot. Add the veggie-sauce mixture and stir until well-mixed. From this batch, I was able to divide it up into 5 reusable freezer containers, weighing about 11.25 ounces each, with a little leftover for a snack. Just pop the containers in the freezer and take out to reheat as needed.

Here's the nutritional breakdown, which I calculated after adding up all of the serving size nutritional information found either on the package labels or surfing the internet for the produce, adjusting for the actual amounts actually used, and then dividing by 5:

Calories = 389
Protein = 15.4 grams

Fiber = 11 grams (finding fiber info on the broccoli stems was iffy, so I conservatively estimate it at 3 grams)
Carbs = 63.5 grams
Sodium = 780 mg (Eeek! That's a third of the daily allowance...even the low sodium soy sauce is still pretty high.)

I'd take a picture, but that means crawling over boxes to get to the camera. Fuhget it.

This also makes a great protein-packed, fiber-rich dinner, just invite over a couple of friends and break out the warm sake or Sang Som cocktails.

Hope everyone had a peaceful and fun holiday weekend. I know I did. The scale will tell all this Wednesday.

Pre-Memorial Weekend Update

2009-05-22T16:28:00.005-04:00

Finally, finally...we are done shopping for furniture and household crap. Everything is set to be delivered by next Wednesday. One major task is crossed off the list and we can now focus on the last details--packing!

Left the office early, went home and changed into scrubs and set out onto the balcony to take down my container garden. I was dreading this, as I figured it would take all afternoon and would thus wipe me out. As it turned it, it took me less than an hour to dump the pots, move some surviving plants indoors and clean up the balcony. Voila!:

And I am not tired. Nope. I feel great, unlike what my old self would have been feeling a year or so ago. Another "NSV" or whatever the lingo is.

Bobzilla is making saag paneer tonight, which is an Indian dish made of spinach, cabbage, onions, paneer cubes and hot spices (it's also gluten-free and can easily be made vegan friendly by substituting hard cube tofu for the cheese). He made it last weekend for our friend, and it was a runaway hit:

This weekend is going to be busy. Bobzilla is working on a movie with a filmmaker-friend of his tomorrow, and I'm probably gonna tag along to gawk. Bill Hinzman (original zombie from Night of the Living Dead) is going to be in the shoot, so I can't wait to flirt with this frisky legend and let off some steam. Then, sadly, more packing.

Oh, and the scale this morning said 155.8. Okaaaaay then. No doubt I'll be doing some damage this weekend to negate the progress. I always do and then manage to rebound the following week. Yup, I'm definitely seeing a pattern here. At least the pattern is in my favor...for now.

Hope everyone has a fabulous holiday!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/20/09 & Some Whining on the Side!

2009-05-21T18:20:00.003-04:00

Belated report on yesterday's weigh-in: 157.8. So, I'm back almost a pound. That, or I've really just been maintaining the past 2 weeks. And I'm not surprised by that, since it follows 5 straight days of unabashed partying with friends. My eating has been good, as has been the workouts. It's my achilles heel...the vino...that is the pink elephant in the room. The cocktail with lunch. The round of drinks while playing euchre with friends. Four to five glasses of wine during late night chats with my BFF.

My absence in blogdom is due largely to:

1. Being out of town (in Maryland) for 3 days;
2. Moving bullshit: Shopping for furniture, dealing with movers, packing, switching utilities, blah blah blah.
3. WORK! Training the new secretary while staying on top of a busy pre-memorial day schedule is no easy thang.

I've been a blog bandit, lurking on everyone's blog but quickly leaving to attend to IRL issues. And it may be that way at least until we move and get settled in, say June 4 or 5. And THEN, Bobzilla and I are off to Tennessee for our annual anniversary vacation. And there are plenty of opportunities in between for things to go awry.

As I type this, I am sitting on a dismantled computer chair and surrounded by boxes. *twitches* I can't find half of my stuff and feel like I'm in a constant state of disorientation when I walk through the door each night. I guess I'm lucky to still have a little pocket of space in the living room where I can ride the bike and lift the weights.

On the plus side, the new home is bigger and I can finally transplant my plant babies that have been germinating and overrunning the kitchen for the last 3 months. And it couldn't happen sooner. It looks like some of them have grown teeth and they look hungry.

And that's that for now.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/13/09

2009-05-13T20:29:00.002-04:00

Oh yeah, about that....

I'm at an even 157.00 today. A little more than 1/2 a pound down from last week. Oh well. Better than a gain.

And The Biggest Loser Is....(spoiler alert)

2009-05-12T23:07:00.002-04:00

Helen.

Um...congratulations?

Update From Dante's Little-Known Tenth Circle of Hell

2009-05-08T19:58:00.006-04:00

I'm still alive, even if it looks like I'm dead. That's how some zombies roll.

Over the past 5 days, I have covered over 885 miles of commuting for unexpected court dates (read: chinese fire drills), client meetings and house showings. It's probably more than that, but I didn't calculate the mileage yet for the tax man. It seems like much longer. Ugh.

Plus, poor Bobzilla, the drummer for his band of 5+ years had to suddenly bow out due to police academy training priorities for the next six months (understandable). This has the emotional impact equivalent to finding his best dog splayed on the pavement ...with two sets of skid marks on the carcass. Big emotional downer.

*of course I had to insert another absurd analogy*

On the plus side, we found a new love nest and we're signing papers tomorrow. Hells yeah.

In between all of the real life stresses that I'm sure everyone here has gone through and can thus relate to, I've kept things together on the health and fitness front. Sure, I've had to get up earlier for workouts (5 a.m. people!). But we didn't fall into the fast food trap. Bob did get a donut and egg mcmuffin (his gluten-intolerant bowels are punishing him in their own way) this morning, but we managed to swing by Mustard Seed Market and stocked up on healthy, ethical, and organic fruits, veggies and dead animals. Once I finish this blog post, I'm making baked Yukon Gold potatoes with Greek yogurt, grilled bison and a spinach salad. Bob normally cooks, but he's still in grieving mode over the band. It's the best I can do. I'm also having a glass of Riesling as I write this. Like I said, it's the best I can do.

There are so many fabulous blog posts I need to catch up on, hopefully, thru tonight and this weekend. I miss Jelly Bean/evil twin (holla!), my butt-kicking virtual personal trainer/evil triplet Kristi (*clinks wine glasses*), Patty and her garden of Eden, my snarky grrls (Dina, Crabby, Tricia *smooch*), Cammy (!), hot-to-trot Shelley, Allison, Julie & Sassle, my Clevo gang (you know who you is), Nurse Lisa-Lisa (*heart palpitations*), MzFit and her awesome Dr. Seuss tattoo (have you been following her on twitter?), Leeeeee and everyone in between. *gasps for air* I managed to read some blogs, but then had to break away or whatever. Who knew that blogging was so involving? But I love every minute of it.

'Course, all this gushing could be the wine talking, but I'm feeling the love, so I'm just going with it....

Anyway, gotta go to make our late dinner, engage in some overdue wifely nurturing and then up early tomorrow to deal with mundane real estate paper shuffling.

Blog atcha soon!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/6/2009

2009-05-06T11:01:00.002-04:00

Cinco de Mayo passed without indulging in a single margarita or salsa-laden tortilla chip. This must be serious!

Anyway, I weighed in this morning at 157.6. That's a 2.2 lb loss from last week. Very cool. The interval training seems to being paying off quite well.

It's been a hella busy week: training the new secretary (yes, we finally let the other one go), writing briefs, still house hunting and I hurt my knee again, this time doing squats. So, I haven't been around blogland lately dropping the usual comment bombs. And that pains me because I love my morning visits to other blogs. *sniffs*

Well, I'm off to eat my banana, finish my tea and return some phone calls. Real life is such a drag sometimes.

For Jelly Bean

2009-05-02T21:10:00.002-04:00

Showing a little Sista Solidarity:

Here, you get a two-fer. We both had embarrassingly bad hair, circa 1988.

For context, check out Mrs. Jelly Belly's newest blog. Join us!

Shortest Love Affair Evah

2009-05-02T18:42:00.005-04:00

From its first encounter with my tongue, Sabra's Supremely Spicy hummus seduced me with its creamy orgasmic goodness. I thought I found the Holy Grail of healthy snacking. Sexy flavor with no guilt. As the product proclaims, "Go Mediterranean!" The package invites us to "experience the authentic traditions of the Mediterranean." (emphasis added)

Sadly, the hummus is hardly "authentic Mediterranean."

First of all, it has no olive oil. Zip. Instead, it's made with soybean oil. Ick. Soybean oil is like Agave Nectar...a highly processed food product that is anything but natural. And, there's no lemon juice. Just citric acid. And worse, it is super high in fat compared to traditional hummus. Six grams for a two-tablespoon serving. And about 80 calories. That's about double the fat and calories of a traditional hummus.

I feel like I brought home Christian Bale from the bar, only to wake up with a skanky 45-year- old Bret Michaels in my bed...sans bandanna and smelling like PBR and stale cigarettes. *shudders*

I feel so unclean.

R'uh R'oh!

2009-05-01T23:25:00.010-04:00

Apparently, "overexercising" causes weight gain. Oh noes!

Now, I heard that working out too hard might be counter-productive, but this is the first that I've read that explains in semi-detail (c'mon, my source is a grocery checkout magazine, so cut me some slack) how this is so.

To break this article down:

1. Working out too hard will cause you to retain water. Check.
2. It will also cause you to be constipated. Definitely check.
3. The scale will thus be mean to you. Yup.

O. M. G.

Is that what's been happening to me? Is that what's been happening to you? I know some of ya'll have been doing the daily weigh-ins like me (naughty, naughty, but I do it, too) and are frustrated by the needle's stubborn refusal to budge. The scale even taunts you, doesn't it? It tells you that you might have even gained some weight, huh? Even after you worked your ass off, right?

Yeah, I'm with you.

So what to do? Frankly, I don't know what exactly constitutes "excessive exercising" or overtraining. But word on the street is that it comes down to listening to your body and doing what is right for you.

I currently workout 2 hours a morning, 6 days a week. Yeah, sounds crazy, but hear me out. One hour of my time is spent doing cardio. Then I spend a half hour putzing around doing squats or abs on alternate days (subtract about 10 minutes chasing cats out of the room or answering calls from clients). Then a half hour strength training different muscles on alternate days. The rest of the day, I do absolutely nothing because I'm at a desk, with the exception of having to walk another block to go to court. The workouts are the only physical activity I get for the whole day, save for some weekend excursions.

Now, some experts recommend 60-90 minutes of physical activity a day to lose weight. So, am I that far off, really?

Thankfully, garage sale season is about to start in my 'hood. If I'm lucky, I'll score a Vita Master massager and be done with it, especially since Hydroxycut is getting yanked from the market.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 4/29/2009

2009-04-29T09:57:00.004-04:00

It's official. I'm in the 150's. Barely. This morning, the scale still read 159.8 (teasing me a few times with 159.6. Bah!). Officially, that's a 1.4 pound loss from last Wednesday. Given what has come to be a typical weekend of indulgences, that's a-ok with me.

The 60-minute interval biking has been giving me a tough workout, but at least I'm pouring sweat again. Interval training is what my body needs right now. I really was getting too comfortable with the same routine and starting to get my feet planted in a plateau. You're right again, Kristi!

Post-Zombie Apocalypse Report

2009-04-27T20:39:00.012-04:00

For someone who:

a) has been house-hunting all weekend,
b) turned into a zombie, walked all over the city in near 90 degree heat, danced & whooped it up to slack masters The Amino Acids and transformed back into a mortal pinkie later that evening,
c) went on a late-Sunday road trip with Bobzilla, and
d) did more house-hunting today after a long and uncomfortable day at work, ...

...I'm feeling pretty good.

Zombie Walk was uber fun. There must have been around 250 people at this event. You couldn't meet a nicer mob of ghouls.

Bob and I opted to have one of the on-site makeup artists pretty us up. The results were quite acceptable:

Once we took it to the streets, the fun really began. Here's the first wave of zombies approaching the main street. The single cyclist's attempts to shoot us in the head were, ultimately, hilariously ineffective.

And here I am confronting a carload of fresh meat. They were laughing because it was their only defense:

Oh, I did end up going with the zombie jogger theme. One of those obnoxious street joggers who gets her just desserts:

The highlight of the walk was definitely hanging out with Bill Hinzman, the actor who played the cemetery zombie in the original Night of the Living Dead. Bill, or "OZ" (Original Zombie), was a good sport and held his own. Of course, he liked the ladies, which might've had something to do with it:

About the only downside was all that fake blood. My arms are still stained a light pink from where the sun baked that shit into my skin. And there is dried blood all over my cell phone and camera, like hard candy (it was made of corn syrup and chocolate). I also got blood on my shoes. But I'm leaving it on there, as it improves the look.

More pics of the walk can be found here.

Bob made an excellent vegetarian dinner tonight: potato tacos made with yukon gold potatoes, spinach, tomatillo sauce and soft corn tortillas, spicy tomato rice and refried black beans. All organic and all delicious. Well, accept for the black beans. It's very hard to get refried beans without added seasonings and spices, which taste ick and ruin the natural flavor.

I turned 38 yesterday. I might've had a brownie sundae and bottle of Riesling to commemorate the occasion.

I know I'm not supposed to be doing this, but...

2009-04-23T11:45:00.003-04:00

...I actually weigh myself every morning, Mon-Fri. Bad, bad, bad, I know. But I'm a glutton for the scale drama.

Anyway, here's what the scale said this morning: 159.8

So, you see why I'm posting this.

Now, this weigh-in is totally unofficial. What matters more is what next week's scale reading tells me. Still. I'm slightly encouraged. Part of me believed that I have lost more than what the scale has been telling me, but that the loss has been masked by the tummy issues. Those tummy issues finally resolved themselves earlier this week. My digestion is not sluggish anymore and seems back to normal.

On the other hand....

This could be water loss and I'll just regain weight and my scale will say "fuck you" and put me back in the 160's next week. Yup.

I must be out of my mind to fuss over what amounts to a 1 lb loss from yesterday. Judging from Tara's actions on Biggest Loser this week, a pound isn't worth what it used to be.

This morning I interval-cycled while watching the French bloodbath movie "Frontière(s) ." Not recommended.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 4/22/09

2009-04-22T12:47:00.003-04:00

We're back in business. Scale said 161.2 lbs, which is a little less than a pound down from last week. Not a groundbreaking loss, but it sure ain't a gain either. I would be lying if I said I wasn't grieving a little over the loss of my alien baby. Oh, what could have been.

The running is on hiatus for another week to see how my knees are doing. Yesterday as I went up the stairs, my right knee had me vocalizing pain. Bobzilla thinks I need to stop because it's too high-impact and should stick to the recumbent bike. He also forgets how stubborn I am.

Anyway, to compensate for the loss of the intense runner's workout, I've upped my bike time to an hour and have increased the intensity on the interval training mode program. This means the tension cycles through from low to medium to fuck-you-high every 3.5 minutes, and I push on the high tension to maximize the workout. I've done this for two days and it seems to work swell. I get my heart rate up pretty good without going into heart-attack territory and I'm sweating about as much as I am when I run for 40 minutes.

You know, I never stopped to think what my goal weight should be. In response to my frustration at another 150's fail, Bob ominously suggested this morning, "Maybe your body is telling you this is where you need to be." See, I think I could still stand to lose another 10-15 lbs. But I'm at a weight and size I have never been at for the last 15-20 years, so perhaps my perception is a bit off. I dunno. I'll just keep trying and see what happens.