I Won a Major Award!

Tricia has bestowed upon me my first--and what is probably the most meaningful--anti-weight loss blog award by a member of the the snarky weight blog trifecta, Tricia. And I didn't even have to nominate myself or whore myself out begging for votes. Kneel, suckas:

But wouldn't you know it, there are strings attached. In order to properly accept Jacks**t's prestigious honor, I gotta work for it and make a list of seven things I admire about Tricia. Great, homework. And I'm right in the middle of my move, packing and cleaning. I ain't got time for this hoo ha! So, here was my initial response to Tricia after reading the fine print:

But screw it. The oven cleaner fumes are forcing me to sit down and take in some oxygen. And, really, how could I refuse?

So, here are 7 things that I totally dig about Tricia:

1. Girl makes me laugh til I practically fart in my desk chair. When I get the alert she's posted a new blog, I put calls on hold. Even when her life sucks at a particular moment, she will find a twisted humorous spin on things and basically try and keep it together rather than fall to a corner and suck her thumb.

2. She doesn't take this whole weight loss thing so deadly serious or view it so narrowly. There is more to getting your shit together than logging meals and workouts and writing the 28th chapter about being trapped in fat hell. It's a process that is as much mental as it is physical.

3. While her cat may be an asshole, I know that deep down inside there is a crazy cat lady in that heart of hers.

4. She makes chiropractors seem almost vag-worthy.

5. If I had to change careers, I would totally work in a cubicle farm with her. And then steal her Buddha.

6. There is no pretense about her, unless she's kept things really masterfully hidden. What you read is what you get.

7. She agrees that hot weather needs to suck it. She is, therefore, right.

8. She's Irish.

Yes, I know that's 8. But I threw an extra one in to make up for the grave error she made when she mentioned "zombie run." Zombies don't run, I don't care what fans of the Dawn of the Dead remake and 28 Days/Weeks Later (and, technically, those dudes are rage-infected, not zombified) say. *flashes slow-moving zombie gang sign*

And to pass the Shitty blog joy along, I nominate Kristi (for being a kick-ass virtual trainer) and Jelly Bean (for her gadget blogs and just being all around awesome)! Now, shower me with love and praise. Time to go back and pack. Ugh.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/27/09

The scale said 155.6 this morning. "Officially," that's a 2.2 lb. loss from last Wednesday. Really, tho, I'm just relieved that I didn't get punished more harshly for this weekend. Or maybe I wasn't really that bad. I just assume anymore that weekends are free-for-alls. And since this was a 4-day weekend for me, I must've been really bad. If I analyzed it tho, I probably did much better. But, there it is.

I've added Vitamin D to my daily supplement ritual. I should just take Geritol and get it over with. Embracing middle-age is harder than it should be.

Gluten-Free, Vegan Asian Noodle Joy

With our big move coming up, I decided to take advantage of the holiday to make a large batch of lunch bowls for the rest of the week and next. Either we were out of brown rice or it's been packed, so I went with a veggie noodle dish, and kinda winged it using what was left in the pantry and fridge. The end result was quite pleasing.

Here's the recipe, which makes 5 servings:

• 1 whole package of 100% buckwheat soba noodles, 12 oz. (Eden Foods makes a brand of organic, gluten-free soba noodle. You'll need about 1 & 1/2 packages for this recipe if making 5 servings, or just use one package and include fried tofu or extra veggies to pad it out)
• 2-3 "trunks" of broccoli stems (I decapitate the flower heads and steam them or eat them raw separately--Bobzilla refuses to eat stems, so this is a great way to sneak in insoluble fiber)
• 1/2 bag of baby carrots
• 1/2 head red cabbage
• 1/2 head white cabbage
• 1 medium white onion
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1-2 TB cock sauce, or more depending on how hot you like it
• 2 TB of low-sodium, wheat-free tamari (San-J is an excellent choice)
• 1/4 cup organic peanut butter (Giant Eagle's "Nature's Basket" is the one I used)
• 1 TB canola oil
• 1/4 cup rice vinegar
• 1 TB ginger paste

Take all of the vegetables and shred them. Cabbage is easy. Just cut lengthwise on the cutting board. For the carrots & broccoli stems, I run them through the food processor, sideways so you get longish shreds. Otherwise, just cut them into thin matchstick-sized pieces. Now, don't freak out by the butt-load size of veggies. They will cook down and fit with everything.

While cooking the other ingredients, start boiling water in a large pasta pot, with a little salt, and cook the entire package of noodles (usually about 4-5 minutes), drain noodles and rinse with cold water. Have noodles and pasta pot on standby for the finishing stage.

In a large dutch oven or wok, add oil and heat over medium-high heat until hot. Sautee the cabbage and onion for about 3 minutes or so. Add the broccoli and carrots and cook for another 2 minutes. Add the garlic at the end...garlic can brown easily and tastes like caca when over fried.

Then add all of the sauces, peanut butter and ginger paste to the vegetable mixture and stir over low heat until it gets saucy. You may need to add more rice vinegar, or even a little water to thin out.

Put the noodles back in the pasta pot. Add the veggie-sauce mixture and stir until well-mixed. From this batch, I was able to divide it up into 5 reusable freezer containers, weighing about 11.25 ounces each, with a little leftover for a snack. Just pop the containers in the freezer and take out to reheat as needed.

Here's the nutritional breakdown, which I calculated after adding up all of the serving size nutritional information found either on the package labels or surfing the internet for the produce, adjusting for the actual amounts actually used, and then dividing by 5:

Calories = 389
Protein = 15.4 grams

Fiber = 11 grams (finding fiber info on the broccoli stems was iffy, so I conservatively estimate it at 3 grams)
Carbs = 63.5 grams
Sodium = 780 mg (Eeek! That's a third of the daily allowance...even the low sodium soy sauce is still pretty high.)

I'd take a picture, but that means crawling over boxes to get to the camera. Fuhget it.

This also makes a great protein-packed, fiber-rich dinner, just invite over a couple of friends and break out the warm sake or Sang Som cocktails.

Hope everyone had a peaceful and fun holiday weekend. I know I did. The scale will tell all this Wednesday.

Pre-Memorial Weekend Update

Finally, finally...we are done shopping for furniture and household crap. Everything is set to be delivered by next Wednesday. One major task is crossed off the list and we can now focus on the last details--packing!

Left the office early, went home and changed into scrubs and set out onto the balcony to take down my container garden. I was dreading this, as I figured it would take all afternoon and would thus wipe me out. As it turned it, it took me less than an hour to dump the pots, move some surviving plants indoors and clean up the balcony. Voila!:

And I am not tired. Nope. I feel great, unlike what my old self would have been feeling a year or so ago. Another "NSV" or whatever the lingo is.

Bobzilla is making saag paneer tonight, which is an Indian dish made of spinach, cabbage, onions, paneer cubes and hot spices (it's also gluten-free and can easily be made vegan friendly by substituting hard cube tofu for the cheese). He made it last weekend for our friend, and it was a runaway hit:

This weekend is going to be busy. Bobzilla is working on a movie with a filmmaker-friend of his tomorrow, and I'm probably gonna tag along to gawk. Bill Hinzman (original zombie from Night of the Living Dead) is going to be in the shoot, so I can't wait to flirt with this frisky legend and let off some steam. Then, sadly, more packing.

Oh, and the scale this morning said 155.8. Okaaaaay then. No doubt I'll be doing some damage this weekend to negate the progress. I always do and then manage to rebound the following week. Yup, I'm definitely seeing a pattern here. At least the pattern is in my favor...for now.

Hope everyone has a fabulous holiday!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/20/09 & Some Whining on the Side!

Belated report on yesterday's weigh-in: 157.8. So, I'm back almost a pound. That, or I've really just been maintaining the past 2 weeks. And I'm not surprised by that, since it follows 5 straight days of unabashed partying with friends. My eating has been good, as has been the workouts. It's my achilles heel...the vino...that is the pink elephant in the room. The cocktail with lunch. The round of drinks while playing euchre with friends. Four to five glasses of wine during late night chats with my BFF.

My absence in blogdom is due largely to:

1. Being out of town (in Maryland) for 3 days;
2. Moving bullshit: Shopping for furniture, dealing with movers, packing, switching utilities, blah blah blah.
3. WORK! Training the new secretary while staying on top of a busy pre-memorial day schedule is no easy thang.

I've been a blog bandit, lurking on everyone's blog but quickly leaving to attend to IRL issues. And it may be that way at least until we move and get settled in, say June 4 or 5. And THEN, Bobzilla and I are off to Tennessee for our annual anniversary vacation. And there are plenty of opportunities in between for things to go awry.

As I type this, I am sitting on a dismantled computer chair and surrounded by boxes. *twitches* I can't find half of my stuff and feel like I'm in a constant state of disorientation when I walk through the door each night. I guess I'm lucky to still have a little pocket of space in the living room where I can ride the bike and lift the weights.

On the plus side, the new home is bigger and I can finally transplant my plant babies that have been germinating and overrunning the kitchen for the last 3 months. And it couldn't happen sooner. It looks like some of them have grown teeth and they look hungry.

And that's that for now.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/13/09

Oh yeah, about that....

I'm at an even 157.00 today. A little more than 1/2 a pound down from last week. Oh well. Better than a gain.

And The Biggest Loser Is....(spoiler alert)

Helen.




Um...congratulations?

Update From Dante's Little-Known Tenth Circle of Hell

I'm still alive, even if it looks like I'm dead. That's how some zombies roll.

Over the past 5 days, I have covered over 885 miles of commuting for unexpected court dates (read: chinese fire drills), client meetings and house showings. It's probably more than that, but I didn't calculate the mileage yet for the tax man. It seems like much longer. Ugh.

Plus, poor Bobzilla, the drummer for his band of 5+ years had to suddenly bow out due to police academy training priorities for the next six months (understandable). This has the emotional impact equivalent to finding his best dog splayed on the pavement ...with two sets of skid marks on the carcass. Big emotional downer.

*of course I had to insert another absurd analogy*

On the plus side, we found a new love nest and we're signing papers tomorrow. Hells yeah.

In between all of the real life stresses that I'm sure everyone here has gone through and can thus relate to, I've kept things together on the health and fitness front. Sure, I've had to get up earlier for workouts (5 a.m. people!). But we didn't fall into the fast food trap. Bob did get a donut and egg mcmuffin (his gluten-intolerant bowels are punishing him in their own way) this morning, but we managed to swing by Mustard Seed Market and stocked up on healthy, ethical, and organic fruits, veggies and dead animals. Once I finish this blog post, I'm making baked Yukon Gold potatoes with Greek yogurt, grilled bison and a spinach salad. Bob normally cooks, but he's still in grieving mode over the band. It's the best I can do. I'm also having a glass of Riesling as I write this. Like I said, it's the best I can do.

There are so many fabulous blog posts I need to catch up on, hopefully, thru tonight and this weekend. I miss Jelly Bean/evil twin (holla!), my butt-kicking virtual personal trainer/evil triplet Kristi (*clinks wine glasses*), Patty and her garden of Eden, my snarky grrls (Dina, Crabby, Tricia *smooch*), Cammy (!), hot-to-trot Shelley, Allison, Julie & Sassle, my Clevo gang (you know who you is), Nurse Lisa-Lisa (*heart palpitations*), MzFit and her awesome Dr. Seuss tattoo (have you been following her on twitter?), Leeeeee and everyone in between. *gasps for air* I managed to read some blogs, but then had to break away or whatever. Who knew that blogging was so involving? But I love every minute of it.

'Course, all this gushing could be the wine talking, but I'm feeling the love, so I'm just going with it....

Anyway, gotta go to make our late dinner, engage in some overdue wifely nurturing and then up early tomorrow to deal with mundane real estate paper shuffling.

Blog atcha soon!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/6/2009

Cinco de Mayo passed without indulging in a single margarita or salsa-laden tortilla chip. This must be serious!

Anyway, I weighed in this morning at 157.6. That's a 2.2 lb loss from last week. Very cool. The interval training seems to being paying off quite well.

It's been a hella busy week: training the new secretary (yes, we finally let the other one go), writing briefs, still house hunting and I hurt my knee again, this time doing squats. So, I haven't been around blogland lately dropping the usual comment bombs. And that pains me because I love my morning visits to other blogs. *sniffs*

Well, I'm off to eat my banana, finish my tea and return some phone calls. Real life is such a drag sometimes.

For Jelly Bean

Showing a little Sista Solidarity:


Here, you get a two-fer. We both had embarrassingly bad hair, circa 1988.

For context, check out Mrs. Jelly Belly's newest blog. Join us!

Shortest Love Affair Evah

From its first encounter with my tongue, Sabra's Supremely Spicy hummus seduced me with its creamy orgasmic goodness. I thought I found the Holy Grail of healthy snacking. Sexy flavor with no guilt. As the product proclaims, "Go Mediterranean!" The package invites us to "experience the authentic traditions of the Mediterranean." (emphasis added)

Sadly, the hummus is hardly "authentic Mediterranean."

First of all, it has no olive oil. Zip. Instead, it's made with soybean oil. Ick. Soybean oil is like Agave Nectar...a highly processed food product that is anything but natural. And, there's no lemon juice. Just citric acid. And worse, it is super high in fat compared to traditional hummus. Six grams for a two-tablespoon serving. And about 80 calories. That's about double the fat and calories of a traditional hummus.

I feel like I brought home Christian Bale from the bar, only to wake up with a skanky 45-year- old Bret Michaels in my bed...sans bandanna and smelling like PBR and stale cigarettes. *shudders*

I feel so unclean.

R'uh R'oh!

Apparently, "overexercising" causes weight gain. Oh noes!

Now, I heard that working out too hard might be counter-productive, but this is the first that I've read that explains in semi-detail (c'mon, my source is a grocery checkout magazine, so cut me some slack) how this is so.

To break this article down:

1. Working out too hard will cause you to retain water. Check.
2. It will also cause you to be constipated. Definitely check.
3. The scale will thus be mean to you. Yup.

O. M. G.

Is that what's been happening to me? Is that what's been happening to you? I know some of ya'll have been doing the daily weigh-ins like me (naughty, naughty, but I do it, too) and are frustrated by the needle's stubborn refusal to budge. The scale even taunts you, doesn't it? It tells you that you might have even gained some weight, huh? Even after you worked your ass off, right?

Yeah, I'm with you.

So what to do? Frankly, I don't know what exactly constitutes "excessive exercising" or overtraining. But word on the street is that it comes down to listening to your body and doing what is right for you.

I currently workout 2 hours a morning, 6 days a week. Yeah, sounds crazy, but hear me out. One hour of my time is spent doing cardio. Then I spend a half hour putzing around doing squats or abs on alternate days (subtract about 10 minutes chasing cats out of the room or answering calls from clients). Then a half hour strength training different muscles on alternate days. The rest of the day, I do absolutely nothing because I'm at a desk, with the exception of having to walk another block to go to court. The workouts are the only physical activity I get for the whole day, save for some weekend excursions.

Now, some experts recommend 60-90 minutes of physical activity a day to lose weight. So, am I that far off, really?

Thankfully, garage sale season is about to start in my 'hood. If I'm lucky, I'll score a Vita Master massager and be done with it, especially since Hydroxycut is getting yanked from the market.