Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 12/23/09 & Happy Festivus!

143.2 lbs. Pretty much a maintain and nothing to show for it. I never did have that eggnog this past weekend because Bobzilla has been sick with a head and chest cold. It was a pretty vanilla weekend of homemade chicken soup and movies. Even the candy cane I was going to eat is still sitting unwrapped on the counter. And now I'm fighting off Bob's plague and don't have a taste for anything. It's like deja vu from last month with this sickness. Everyone I know around here is getting sick over and over again. Doesn't matter how healthy or "fit" you are. I swear, we are one rogue monkey away from THE superflu.

Tonight I'm making Italian amarettis, using an original recipe from the family's favorite local baker. We had to get really creative to get the recipe, so I cannot share. Ancient quido secret. But rest assured that these cookies are delicious.

My BFF gave me an early Christmas present: A fetish Zombie Destroyer outfit. I am in heaven. It even has extra pockets along the sides for weapons! And I look pretty bangin' in it. I thought about posting a picture of me wearing the kinky zombie gear in lieu of the standard bikini/bathing suit "after" photo. But really, it isn't appropriate. So, that's that.

Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. Sin, but in moderation. Yeah, right.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In 12/16/2009 and Biting Through My Wrists

Down to 143.4 lbs, a little over a pound loss. Things should be leveling off here soon. I'm kind of jazzed about starting the New Year more or less in maintenance mode. Nice timing.

Little Sis is now out of the hospital. She was in there longer than any of us expected, I guess because we all underestimated the seriousness of things. Plus she was isolated from family (limited visiting hours) in a loud wing with an uncomfortable bed and getting more depressed every day. But, she's out and now on a path to a healthy new life. I hope. She has to navigate herself through this. Before her health and then body took a turn for the worse, I picked her up some "fun" gifts. Now I wish I hadn't and instead opted for such things as, a workout DVD, hand weights, a heart monitor, some cool workout clothes. I still feel uncomfortable doing that, though. Most of us don't like the subtle (and not-so subtle) hints that we are fat and unhealthy. I know I didn't. So, I don't volunteer advice, except occasionally on weight-loss blogs.(which is a different context anyway). I don't give gifts bearing thinly-veiled messages. But in this case, when she needs it and HAS to do it, well, that's more complicated. I should just suck it up, put on the bossy big sis hat and do it. The worst that will happen is that she'll be irritated that I'm nagging her. She would take it more personal if, for instance, a stranger did the same thing.

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind in other ways, most of it office -related. I was running around like a mad monkey meeting all sorts of crazy ass deadlines, court appearances, etc. The last of the fire drills ended this afternoon. Shit. I probably shouldn't have said that. My desk will probably hold steaming piles of paper turds when I go back in tomorrow morning.

I realize as I'm typing this that I am tired to the point of being retarded. I haven't thought about dinner and can't remember what I'm supposed to do tonight. Wait, I remember! Watching Food, Inc.

Oh, an advance confession: I will be going to the Velvet Tango Room to indulge in a real eggnog. That's right. Raw egg, cream and all. But since I haven't been engaging in abnormally bad behavior during this season, what the hell.

And for some advance holiday cheer, here's a creepy tree Santa I found at the local Marc's:

He had yellow eyes, so help me God. Yellow eyes!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In and Pre-Holiday Fire Drills

Well, I'm down another half pound, to 144.6 today. That's perfectly fine. I doubt I'm going to be losing much more for a while, only because it looks like I'm getting close to where I want to be.

You'd think with the holidays, there would be major slacking in legal-land, but not so. I have to finish up my last remaining Continuing Legal Education credits, which means several days of BORE-ing seminars. And there are brief deadlines up through the end of next week. Presently, I have two word processing windows open on my computer screen, my email server up in another window, a browser window open to an on-line legal database and another on a court docket, and then this window is up for my blog. I'm running this computer into the ground. Poor thing.

And my poor sis has been sick and in the hospital since Monday, putting me in anxiety mode for a while. But no boo-hoos or condolences are necessary. She's getting better every day. The food does suck, I am told. So I'm not going to complain about my mediocre, over-microwaved chicken 'n green beans I'm trying to force down at the moment. People in bare-ass hospital gowns would take a dozen IVs if they could have my food. We should all be grateful.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 12/2/09 and Ugh.

145.2 lbs, down about half a pound from last week. Post-Thanksgiving, so I'll take it!

I don't talk about TOM because it doesn't have a lasting effect on my weight gain/loss, but....

....I feel like doing this to my uterus today:

Artwork by the twistedly talented Lacey.

But, with a spork to make sure I've removed everything.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Thanksgiving Weekend Breather

First off, my weight last Wednesday was 145.6, back exactly to what it was 2 weeks ago. I didn't have time to post a Wednesday Weigh-In and update, between office wind-up and food prep. I'm more interested to see what the scale says next Wednesday.

Thanksgiving itself was pretty great. We spent it with Bob's family and it was actually one of the best Thanksgivings we have shared. I handled the turkey and pumpkin squares (made from scratch...including the pumpkin itself), Bob made his GF mac 'n cheese, and his mom pretty much slaved over everything else. The turkey (which I had brined the day before) came out especially tasty and juicy. There were no food disasters or kitchen mishaps. This was also our dog's first Thanksgiving, and she was very well-behaved and goofy. She was the centerpiece of the day.

No, I didn't pig out. But I have a weakness for the gamey dark meat. And Sandi's cranberry orange jello mold. A peek at the scale the next day showed zero gain, so that's good.

For Black Friday, we avoided the big box stores and chains, and instead stuck to all local shops and artists. The highlight was hitting up the Bazaar Bizarre, featuring some of the most unique, neat-o wares by local DIY artists. Artisan glass, found object wearable art, scarab jewelry made from watch gears, marshmallow soap...I was overwhelmed by such talent. And THE coolest T-shirts I ever saw, designed and sold by Psycho Reindeer. I couldn't resist picking up a shirt for myself:

Today, we went to the newly-restored Capitol Theatre and saw The Fantastic Mr. Fox. It was fantastic. Tonight, Master Chef Bob made Vindaloo (basically, Indian hash) from some of the 10 pounds or so of leftover turkey. It was quite tasty:

Yeah, Goji wasn't too far from the turkey. She's developed quite a taste for it. Our cats don't much care for turkey, but this dog goes apeshit for it and will actually go through her whole repertoire of tricks without being commanded to do so. Impressive.

And tonight we are staying in and watching some DVDs, starting off with a zombie movie to get into the holiday spirit. Tomorrow, we'll be taking Goji to the park for a run and some frisbee action. Later, we'll be putting up the holiday decorations and tree, which will no doubt be destroyed by Monday. Goji was already trying to pull down the (empty) pet stockings that I just hung on the mantle.

Still working out every day (except Sunday). I'm up to Level Two on the Jillian shred, which I alternate every other day with the other Jillian vid, with an extra 30 minutes on the bike for cool down. Yeah, the bike's a cool down. It's my recovery after those got dam walking push-ups, plank jacks, squat thrusts and lunges w/bicep curls. *shudders*

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Efficacy of Weight Loss Blogging

I got my weight-loss shit together when I lost a good friend almost two years ago. She was a hardcore bulimic: she would typically spend an hour in my bathroom, several times a day, flushing the toilet over and over again. One time, she flooded the bathroom. Even as the toilet water, toilet paper and undigested food swirled around her feet on the bathroom floor, she thought her disorder was a secret to us. The other signs were there, too. The flushed, chipmunk face from swollen salivary glands. The bloating. The abnormal hair loss. The teeth. I played along with the denial game with her, that game of "let's pretend I'm not going to purge this sandwich." Her fixation on food was profound. It was the subject of most of our conversations. We would go out to eat or order pizza and relish the pleasure it gave us. We were binge-buddies. And Bob and I would silently stare at each other when she left the table immediately after eating to go to the bathroom. Again.

I didn't have the courage to confront her with it. I was scared to. Scared that she would fly off the handle. Again. That she would disappear and not speak to me. Or threaten suicide. Again. See, it wasn't just the bulimia. Indeed, that was a just a symptom of something much deeper and darker. For instance:

1. She regularly engaged in "splitting." In other words, she held extreme black and white views of events, trivial matters, herself and her relationship with others. Most of it negative. She demanded nothing less than unconditional acceptance. The slightest (and unintended criticism) was met with harsh rebuke or great hurt and offense. She would obsess over perceived criticisms of her.

2. Manipulated by this splitting behavior, I learned to say and do the right things to her. Unconditional, noncritical words and compassion were like currency. The more I pleased her, the better she felt about herself and the more she rewarded me with kindness and acceptance. Later, my therapist (I'll get to that in a moment) would describe this type of conditioning as akin to a mother bird feeding a hungry hatchling. It was a neverending process of feeding her unstable ego.

3. At the high point in our relationship, I was her best and only friend, someone who didn't abandon her. At the time, I didn't notice her long history of broken relationships with her family, friends and boyfriends. I also didn't pay mind to the other current friends who were disappearing. It was them, not her. They were assholes, like she said.

4. Her low self-esteem was bottomless. Certainly, she had days where she felt positive and empowered. On her dark days (there were many), she was a loser. She was fat (she wasn't). Nobody liked her.

She became so embedded in our lives that it was not unlike having a third spouse. Or child. She demanded more attention. She was going to spend holidays with us and our family--without being invited. When I sheepishly tried to quell her plan, she became depressed and withdrawn until I promised her an alternate visit.

And we wanted to help solve her problems for her. I didn't want to hurt her because I thought we could position ourselves to help with her bulimia and dark moods. More importantly, I thought that if I broke off our relationship she would severely hurt or kill herself because, at that point, she had no one else and was in a dark place. She was in pain, harboring negative self-views that increasingly worsened. My responses, no matter how well-intentioned or loving, were not helping her. In fact, it was exacerbating her condition. She did not need my compassion...she needed professional help. I certainly was unqualified to do it.

In the end, the friendship became so destructive and turbulent that I went into therapy. I thought it was me, that there was something wrong with me because I couldn't fix this relationship.

It was during that therapy that the psychologist explained that my friend was displaying symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Imagine therapist counseling me on the problems of someone else. It was during this therapy that the doctor explained my friend's eating disorder and how it was just one symptom of a much larger issue that would take years of intensive professional treatment to resolve or at least minimize. Until that happened, I needed to walk away.

She advised me to break off my relationship with her immediately and cleanly. No follow up phone call. No letter of explanation. No email. I did it. It hurt bad, the resulting guilt and sudden separation and loss. It was like she died. I lost a best friend just like that.

To get over that grief, I worked on myself. I re-evaluated this fixation on food, alcohol (she was also a heavy drinker) and self-image that was destroying my friend and bringing me down with her. With that, I was able to overhaul my own physical and mental roadmap and, well, that was that.

I didn't read other weight loss blogs and start this blog until a year after I rebooted my weight loss program and already lost about 70-75 pounds of my starting weight. And I'm glad I didn't.

Most obese people do not have eating disorders ("ED"). Statistics to that effect are readily available for your Google research pleasure. From my own unscientific observations over the past year, most weight loss bloggers do not identify ED as an underlying cause of their issues.

There are, however, bloggers who claim to have an ED. Usually self-diagnosed. Usually untreated. There are actually PRO-ED blogs and message boards out there. Lots of them. The proana (anorexia) and promia (bulimia) sites are disturbing, for sure. But some are much more subtle in reinforcing ED, perhaps unintentionally so.

As is human nature, we tend to seek out others who are like-minded, or at least seem to share whatever our own issues might be. What I've found in this little corner of the blogging universe is a surprising lack of meaningful exchange of information and opinions. Sure, there are informative and provocative blogs. But communication in a blogging context is typically unidirectional, like an arrow shooting into the great expanse that is the internet. Feedback is limited to friendly words of support and encouragement, humor and/or light commentary. Perhaps some differing viewpoints, but those are rare as they tend to be perceived as hostile or confrontational. Us floggers like harmony and would like to buy the world a Diet Coke. That is the nature of blogs in general, I suppose. By saying this, I'm not suggesting that blogs must be so interactive, or even so important. They don't, and they can't usually. This is not a message board or chatroom, after all.

But in the case of some ED blogs, it is particularly worrisome. I'm not talking about those who have sought and obtained professional treatment and are in recovery. There are plenty of those, and they are quite insightful, helpful and inspiring. Instead, I am referring to those blogs where the person has identified himself or herself as having an ED, but who has consciously chosen to forgo treatment.

First, I wonder how this person came to diagnose himself or herself as having an ED. Does she even have binge eating disorder or is it a matter of simply overeating and failure to regularly exercise? There is a significant difference between binging and overeating. I have even used the word binge casually myself. But does it rise to the level of a medical condition? Or is identifying oneself as a "binger" one way to medicalize or justify a weight problem, like a cloak or a shield?

Binge Eating Disorder--which research has suggested is more prevalent than even anorexia and bulimia--is a big deal. It effects not only the victim/patient, but also that person's family and friends. Though not yet formally recognized on the DSM-V until at least 2012, it is a serious disorder that requires serious treatment. If a person does truly have BED, but refuses treatment and instead resorts to blogging, it is potentially dangerous not only to herself, but to other readers who may also have (or think they have) an ED and have identified with him or her for that reason.

For those who don't get professional treatment and instead engage in virtual self-help via blogging, they risk dealing with the ED in isolation of the other problems intertwined with the disorder. While they publicly journalize their attempts to fix themselves, they deny, minimize, omit or distort the extent of their underlying emotional and psychological issues, deliberately or unintentionally. There is a fixation on the food (healthy or unhealthy), scale numbers and measurements, and attempts to limit calorie intake. Well-intentioned words of encouragement and support (which is about all most readers can offer) can reinforce that blogger's conviction that he or she can continue to do this on their own. More troubling, it sends a message to other readers with ED that they, too, can beat this without getting help.

However, according to many ED specialists, this self-help approach can be dangerous, as it may ultimately undermine that person's ability to successfully recover from the ED. Sure, there is a dispute among some professionals as to what to treat first: the weight or the disordered eating? But obesity treatments in and of themselves tend to be ineffective in the long run. And there is little disagreement that the psychological aspects must still be addressed to facilitate recovery. Changing eating habits, for instance, is not enough and may even make the problem worse. "Strict or unsupervised dieting" or calorie restriction can even trigger binge eating or other ED complications.

ED is a tough disorder to treat. As it is, therapy--under the guidance and supervision of a professional qualified to deal with ED and related issues--isn't always successful, though still effective and certainly better than going at it alone. For example, therapist-led group therapy for binge eating disorder, which is a common cognitive-behavioral treatment approach, has a success rate of approximately 51%. Only half. Of course, individualized treatment may be more effective, and necessary, depending on that person's circumstances.

More to the point, for patients engaging in self-help, the numbers drop dramatically. Even in self-help group therapy, less than 18% of members abstained from disordered eating. And that's in a structured group setting.

Imagine, then, the recovery prognosis for those who attempt to treat the ED on their own, without any therapy.

That is not to say there are no proper forums for dealing with an ED on the internet. For instance, there is a compelling ED website called Something Fishy, which provides abundant resources for ED treatment and recovery, including an impressive national referral system. Interestingly, its moderated message board is very trigger-conscious. Its policy specifically prohibits the disclosure of weight, weight goals, size, measurements, before/after pictures of participants, etc. There is no bragging about ED behaviors (what you binged on, when you last purged, etc.) or links to a participant's personal journal, website or blog. There is no discussion about calorie intake. Wow. This policy really drives home the depth and seriousness of ED. The factoids we take for granted and are helpful to us are poison to someone with an ED. For that person, those elements need to be stripped away in order to effectively deal with the illness. It seems so counter-intuitive at first, but ultimately makes sense.

At this point in this long post, as I wind things up, I could wax poetic about the epidemic of obesity and how we should talk about our WL goals/obstacles/successes if it helps us and support each other and all of that. That would be stating the obvious.

The harder, the more difficult thing is realizing that there are some very sick people here. You or I may even be sick ourselves but haven't brought ourselves to confront that fact. It is important to be careful of identifying yourself with or as someone with an ED (as I have in the past and might have again) unless, well, you have things sorted out upstairs and, where necessary, obtained the help of a therapist, nutritionist and other professionals. And to understand that ED is a sickness that requires help that blogging may not provide for someone with an untreated ED. Or worse.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 11/18/9

146.8 lbs this morning. About a pound gain. Yeah, you'll have that.

Tonight, we're going to an advanced screening of the new Twilight movie. No doubt the theatre will be choked with teen and pre-teen girls swooning at boys who sparkle. I am frightened to my very core.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 11/11/09 & Looking Back

Since I've been feeling perfectly healthy for several days, the "official" weigh-ins are back on. Scale tells me I'm at 145.6 lbs. That's a two-pounder loss since the last WI two weeks ago. While I am pleased, the scale numbers matter less and less. My body seems to have changed rapidly over the last 2 months or so. The tummy is most definitely flatter. Muscle tone is becoming visible everywhere...back, shoulders, thighs, abs. So weird. I've never looked like this before. It's like everything is settling in. One day in the near future I might be drunk brave enough to take and post pics. Right.

But even more than that, I feel good. Consistently. No, not the high and low extreme feelings from earlier in this process, but, well solid. I am more active even in passive activities, and it's effortless. For example, I take my dog on 20 minute walks twice a day. Years ago, I would have considered just one 20 minute or half-hour walk to count as exercise towards weight loss (Not surprisingly, the weight did not come off as expected, except for the typical 10-15 lbs of water weight that initially slides off whenever I began a diet/fitness plan). Now, it's just routine, a part of life in addition to my normal 60-90 minute workouts. I can shop forever. I usually don't buy anything, but I like to walk around and just look. And it doesn't wear me out. Even when I was sick, it only lasted about 3 days and I was still doing things. A far cry from what things were like 1 or 2 years ago.

In fact, there is an embedded normalcy to this. Often, I find little to talk about anymore on the weight loss front. What was a milestone before is now just "meh." Healthy eating is so everyday--so innocuous--that trying to sing praises about my meals seems forced. Right now, I'm lunching on an artichoke and spinach salad in a lemon dressing with a slice of roast lean meat. I could tell you how awesome and healthful it is. But, whatever.

Wait. It has kalamata olives. Now I AM excited.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My New Roller Derby Name Is....

DeathMetal CamelToe.

Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Run the machine for your own roller derby name and then jam on over to MizFit's blog for a chance to win a free Roller Derby DVD workout!

Friday, November 6, 2009

I'm Not Dead.

I'm getting better. I don't want to get on the cart. I feel fine. I think I'll go for a walk.

It was a cold. Not the flu...or worse. I'm quite better, actually. Just chillin' with Bobzilla (who caught my disease but is also recovering quite well). In fact, we just came back from taking Goji on a long walk in the leaves. We're a bit winded, but otherwise A-ok.

We may even go to Dave 'n Buster's tomorrow for some skee ball and trivia action. But not munchies. Their food pretty much blows.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 11/4/09 and PLAGUE!

I've been going back and forth between feeling really crappy and feeling like my body is winning the brawl with this bug. Headaches, sore throat, burny lungs and nose, discomfort and stomach cramps and digestion issues. OMG, the stomach cramps. What the hell. I'm getting upper and lower body action at the same time. No fever, though. That's positive.

Bob had to sleep with earplugs last night to drown my snoring, due to my mouth breathing from the congestion. I was a chronic snorer for years, but that disappeared with the weight loss. It was almost nostalgic to see those foam plugs sticking out of his head.

When it comes to sickness, I'm a big whiner and it shows here. I'll probably keep posting boo-hoo updates just in case a documentation of my slow death from the new plague will be of value in future medical research. Actually, it's just a morbid fascination. One of my favorite books is The Stand by Steven King. It's scary because it COULD happen! It's prophetic. Like Fahrenheit 451.

Workouts were toned down this week. No Jillian. No crazy lunges, walking planks, mountain climbers or burpies. Just my old school 60 minute bike rides and light weight lifting. Obviously, if this gets worse, my ass is staying in bed with the dog.

I've decided to skip an official weigh-in number this week because the reading is probably "false" anyway. Unofficially, I'm at 146.00 pounds but I don't trust that number given the circumstances. We'll see how the next week or two goes. And as I'm writing this, it seems I've grown unattached to the numbers lately and have been less concerned about registering a big loss every week.

In other news, Cleveland has the honor of having one of the worst serial killers ever. And we apparently are unable to draw a reasonable conclusion from a months-long foul odor at a sex offender's house. Yay us.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I'm such a pig

It started last night. Burning throat and nose. Then drips. I woke up at 5:00 this morning with raging sore throat and snot. I'm uncomfortable and irritable, but at least I don't think I have a fever.

And now I'm googling "H1N1 symptoms" and have become an armchair medical expert. I'm on pins and needles every time I feel something vaguely akin to death.

This is the first time I've been sicky in over a year. All this healthy eating and exercise and daily mega doses of Vitamin D are going to be put to the test. That, or I'm turning into a hypochondriac.

Probably caught this from the masquerade ball. Damn.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Every Day is Halloween

The only thing that would have made this Halloween perfect was carving a pumpkin. Our costumes turned out better than expected, although, per usual, no one except for a small handful of like-minded nerds "got" our costumes. It's lonely being an uber geek.

Bob did his own makeup and looked quite dapper as Orville. I think I like the man drag a bit too much.

Or perhaps it was the pants? I just didn't want to take them off. Ever.

This getup also had some unintentionally horrifying consequences. My beard and mustache, made with crepe hair, looked not unlike pubic hair. My "O" face? Disturbing. And certainly scarier than any Freddy Krueger or Angry Town Haller.

The masquerade ball was fun and crowded. So many good costumes. Lacey's Road Kill Skunk was adorable:

As was Mariah's marionette gone bad:

During the night, we rescued a poor hungry street kitty and took her to the vet this morning for blood screening and vaccines. She's disease-free, boostered up and de-flea'ed. She is also a non-stop love machine and more doglike in her mannerisms than a cat. In other words, she'll cling to you for life. Mariah is fostering her but she needs a permanent home:

After the partay, we wandered around the Day of the Dead display next door:

Trick or treating was a hoot. The halloween displays were fiercely competitive, and one of our neighbors even ran a cotton candy machine. Dayum. Swarms of kids came out in miserably cold weather, although they pooped out after an hour. In my day, we would trick or treat until folks ran out of candy and the bottoms fell out of our bags. Kids these days are sorry amateurs.

Sunday was a relaxing retreat spent mostly playing the new Ratchet and Clank. I also whipped up an awesome batch of quinoa salad for the week. Will post the recipe later. If I remember. Which I probably won't. So, real quick, it's 1 cup of quinoa cooked in 2 cups of boiling water, some toasted slivered almonds, sliced green onions, lots of grated carrot, chopped flat leaf parsley all tossed in a dressing made up of 1 & 1/2 TB canola oil, 2 TB low sodium Tamari, 2 tsp. cider vinegar, 1 tsp kosher salt and juice of 1 small lemon.

I only had two fun-sized candy bars. A Snickers and a Milky Way. They were good, but Mitchell's pumpkin ice cream beats them silly. I'm going to try...real make that pint half gallon last til Saturday at least.

Otherwise, still working out as usual. Still eating well, with the exception of drinking some calories on the weekends. *shrugs*

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 10/28/09 & HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

147.6 lbs. Down again from the gain last week, and weighing little less than the week before if we're splitting hairs here.

Weight loss lately is like a series of loops slowly moving one way. There's a gain, some overlap, a loss, a slight gain, and then another loss again. Oh, I'm not complaining. Rather, it's interesting how things have developed lately. I look thinner and more toned since August . I recently added a pair of sweet retro size 8 Calvin Klein jeans to the wardrobe and must say that I look pretty damn good in them. Physically, I feel more balanced, strong and just *in control* of the body. It's a pretty neat feeling that I look forward to getting used to as part of my normal life.

But enough of that....

This weekend is THE bestest holiday of the year. It is also the first Halloween in 10+ years where I am not obese. But that does not mean I'm running to buy a "sexy" costume for this year. Um, no. Those skeezy, cheap costumes aren't nearly as good as quality lingerie and fetish wear that's out there in specialty shops and websites if the ladies (and gents) really wanted to get their freak on. And why be sexy just one night? It's like only giving to charity during Christmas.

Our Halloween tradition is to dress up as a couple from a B-movie. It's a fun challenge to hunt garage sales and thrift stores to find the right materials for a costume that no way in Hell would be mass marketed and sold at a Halloween USA.

Back in '07, Bob and I dressed up as Dr. Phibes and Vulnavia from The Abominable Dr. Phibes:

Last year, we went as doomed zombie motorcycle lovers from Psychomania:

And this year, we decided to push the definition of B-movie couple and will transform ourselves into Alan and Orville from one of my *favorite* zombie movies, Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things. I'm going to go drag as Alan, and Bob is my zombie bitch Orville. Here are some screen shots from my cherished DVD copy:

Not surprisingly, I couldn't find those tasty pants anywhere. Instead, I've spent the last two nights painting these stripes on a pair of white pants. The moustache wouldn't have been hard to pull off if I had just decided on this costume a month ago. No wax, no problem. Bob got his suit and makeup and all he needs is the bridal veil. We'll be coming out at the WCSB Halloween masquerade this Saturday. I. Cannot. Wait.

Happy Halloween!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

So, About Last Weekend

Finally finished a long stretch of work at the office with the filing of a brief a couple hours ago. *whew*

So, about last weekend....

A friend gave us passes for loge seating at the Metallica concert last Thursday. We entered the loge to find it stocked with piping hot burgers, pizza, brats, wings and other very bad things. And booze. And it was free. You know, there used to be a time during my punk-ass youth when I would scowl in disgust that the upper crusts who would lounge comfortably at rock concerts, thinking they were corporate scum and weren't keeping it real. Well, it's true. It's not like Metallica is keeping it real either. So, no guilt about that.

But guilt over bad eating and drinking helped reign me in during what would have otherwise been lustful orgy. I did manage to find one semi-healthy food item: A giant, phallic, genetically engineered roasted jalapeno. I took half of it and Sugar took the other half and stuck it in a hot dog bun. Thems was good eats!

Our weekend in Maryland was swell, even though the weather was cold, rainy and generally craptastic. We all competed in a pumpkin baking contest at the Renfrew Pumpkin Fest, preparing the entries the night before.

The pumpkin I grew in the garden was a bust. It was hard as a stone, had unnaturally pale flesh and was generally creepy-looking:


And Bridget made pumpkin rolls with a secret ingredient*:

I whipped together some gluten-free pumpkin squares made with garbanzo bean, sorghum and rice flour. However, with the cream cheese frosting, they were most definitely not "healthy.":

Competition at the contest was fierce. One lady even crafted caramel leaves on her pumpkin puffs.:

We were anxiously awaiting the judges. When Bob gets nervous, he hitches his drawers. I fart in reverse:

One of the judges loved Bob's enchiladas so much that he actually got up and helped himself to seconds. Sadly, the other two judges disapproved. The Pennsylvania Dutch were not ready for Bob's pumpkin enchiladas. Too provocative. I even heard one of the blue hair competitors nasally inquire, "Wheeeeeere's the pumpkin? I don't see any pumpkin in that."

Bridget did take first place! And I got third.

Despite all of the temptation, I did not indulge in the baked goods for sale. I did have a nice bowl of hot black bean soup and some cider, though. I did not, however, workout for over 4 days. Kinda hard to do and it was too cold for much activity. Per usual, I did drink in some calories. Of course.

Goji had a great time as well, enjoying her extended play date with the other dogs. But at the end of the day, she was still a mama's girl. I think she's taking on a few uncanny human characteristics. Scary:

*Ground cardamom seeds

(Belated) Wednesday Weigh-In 10/21/09 & Pumpkin Love

So how did my four day weekend (which included a fully catered and open-bar loge at the Metallica concert) go? Let the scale speak to that: 148.4 lbs.

Part of our weekend was spent competing in a pumpkin cooking contest. The results of that contest...and for Bobzilla's awesome *pumpkin enchiladas*, click here.

Wanted to post yesterday, but have been busy with two trials. Those are done and now it's catch up with all the dead trees and emails that have accumulated in my absence.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 10/14/09

Today I'm at 147.8 lbs. Down over a pound from last week and moving in the right direction. Ok.

Can't write much. Swamped at the office and then we're off for a little trip to hang with a friend near Bal'more.

Honeycrisp apples are on sale at Giant Eagle for 99 cents/lb. Yowza! That's about $2 off per pound, and these sweet things are the size of baby heads.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 10/7/09 and Poopsicles.

149.00. Inneresting.

Maybe next week, I'll sprout an appendage.

On the Jillian front, I can do 2 sets of walking planks without my lips turning blue. And I've introduced deltoid weight lifting to my regimen last week. I love telling the hubs about my "delts" because he snickers and seems somewhat embarassed. We didn't even know women had delts, believing it was a penis thing.

On the clothing front, I went shopping. I could button up a pair of 8's, but there was some sad shroomage showing. Got a little more to go. But, I did manage to score $5 sweats at Tarjay. Suh-weet!

On the food front, this new peanut ginger sauce in my veggie rice bowls produced a thick toxic fume at the office that will take weeks to vaporize. I'm nobody's friend there for the moment.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-in: 9/30/09 and Mental Transition

Another maintain at 148.4 pounds. And round and round I still go. "Look kids...Big Ben. Parliament."

I'm not totally ready to conclude this is a plateau. For one, my newest clothes are fitting looser. This new fitness routine with Jillian is hammering my body. Food intake hasn't changed (except for adding more healthy fats to the diet), although I am much, much hungrier now. Probably because of the increased physical intensity. Maybe I need to eat more. Maybe not. For now, I'm just gonna be patient and tweak here and there and see how the body adjusts.

This calm, accepting attitude wasn't what I was feeling this morning, though. I first reacted to seeing no loss for several weeks with a great deal of frustration. A black cloud hung over me all morning.

And then I bitch slapped myself later. I'm in the goal-ish range already. Yeah, I'd like to move down to a size 8, maybe drop another 10 pounds, but I'm almost there already (there was a time last year where I was happy if I could just get to size 14). The eating and fitness regimen I've been committed to isn't going to be much different in maintenance, so it's not like I'm working harder or softer by any significant degree. It's funny how the bathroom scale can play trixsie with the head.

I'll still be pissed if there's no improvement next week, tho.

Friday, September 25, 2009

And a slothful child shall lead them...

MizFit has reminded us that tomorrow is National Health and Fitness Day. A day when we're supposed to corral the family together and be active. In the name of physical fitness and all.

For some of us, tomorrow will be no different than any other. I'm still going to get up, workout, go on several walks with the dog and the hubs. No special day here. Everyday (except Sunday) is worship.

But what about some of ya'll that haven't found that will lately to get up and move? What are you waiting for? Motivation? The arrival of the Mojo Express? The second heart attack? Like the oft-preached about Second Coming, that motivation may not arrive in time to save your fat ass soul. Tomorrow is as good as any to make a change.

Or not. In some circles, sloth is considered a positive trait, like so:

Of course, I feel like Kevin many, many times a day as well. Thank goodness there is no real HSN or I would have been in real trouble!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In 9/23/2009 and Zombieland

148.6. Yup. This month has been a prolonged maintenance dress rehearsal. Better results next week, I'm sure. I hope. But I'm relieved to see that prolonged fun with sensible eating and exercise hasn't cost me a gain. The future in maint'nance land is looking bright.

Per usual, tho, no regrets. This Saturday was the semi-annual Zombie Walk. And Lacey's wedding day. Luckily, her wedding was at noon and the reception at 6:30, so there was plenty of time in between to zombie worship.

Before I was zombiefied:

And after. I clean up pretty good:

The volunteer makeup artist, who also does makeup for Bloodview Haunted House (I'm lucky!), did the work. Here's a close-up of his craft:

Zombie Walk itself was a hoot, of course. The weather was perfect for the undead invasion:

And then we were off to the reception, no time to wash off the make-up. And why waste such great artwork? We had a blast at the post-nuptial party:

And then on Monday, my dog and I almost got killed by this tree branch that fell on the sidewalk in front of us. Residual zombie powers must've made us deathproof:

Lee has written about recent tree attacks on her, those close to her and others. This shit's too uncanny to be just a coincidence. The tree conspiracy is real.

Finally, we saw an advance screening of Zombieland last night. Eff'n hell-arious. Except the one actor who plays the geeky guy was channeling way to much Michael Cera in his performance. Still, it's a must see. But a warning...there are fast-moving zombies. Ick.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 9/16/09 and the Official End of Summer

Does a .2 lb loss really count as a loss? Nah, I didn't think so either. I hesitate to say that with today's scale reading of 148.4 pounds I'm in a plateau because that would imply I had been trying to lose weight. Evidence this weekend strongly suggests anything but a weight-loss state of mind.

This past Saturday, Bobzilla and I spent the night at the Riverside Drive-In (located in a skeezy little burg outside of Pittsburgh) for the annual Super Monster Rama quadruple feature picture show. This drive-in event marks the official end of summer. We stayed up practically all night watching B-grade horror movies while eating sub-par concession stand food. It was all kinds of fun, and I'm thankful that there are still drive-ins that run cool shows like this. It was like reliving our childhood/teenage years, only the backseats in these newer cars aren't conducive to drive-in horizontal action *wink wink*. Bob wrote more about this year's Monster Rama on his blog. Check it out for his review and trailers.

Sunday we were pretty much spent. After eating a nasty breakfast that we comped from the hotel (their way of saying "sorry" for charging us a room with a dirty bathroom), we trudged on back home. Too tired to cook and feeling this perverted sense of entitlement after that insulting breakfast, we ate freakishly large grilled cheese sandwiches at Melt. Some drinks that day might have also been consumed. Cider. Maybe a glass of vinho verde or two.

So, yeah, this may or may not explain the ho-hum results on the scale this morning.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Fool me once, shame on NBC. Fool me twice....

Last season was the first time I watched Biggest Loser. I quickly learned that it is the biggest, unhealthiest time waster on TV, next to America's Next Top Idol. Shameless product placement. Dubious weight loss techniques. Fourteen minutes of questionably substantive material padded out to two hours. After last season, I vowed "No More!"

I will not watch the new Biggest Loser.

I will not watch the new Biggest Loser.

I will not watch the new Biggest Loser.

I will not....

Oh shit. It's on.


Thursday, September 10, 2009

Deja Frakkin' Vu

This morning I dropped a jumbo-sized bottle of mouthwash square on the same little toe I broke last month.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 9/9/09 & Reintroducing the No-Nos

With the scale reading 148.6 pounds this morning (about a pound loss), it looks like the train is moving in the right direction again. But for Jillian's workouts, I probably would have reported another maintain or gain following a 4 day holiday weekend that *may* have involved copious amounts of beer & brats, amongst other things. I mean, with 3 picnics and a festival to attend, what's a flogger to do?

Now it wasn't all just eatin' and drinkin'. We went to the local Oktoberfest, where we cheered at the wiener dog races and listened to polka bands singing happily about beer, kielbasa and babes. I "danced" with an African Drum Dance troupe and watched French Can Can dancers for the first (and last) time. We saw the new film Extract, which was about as entertaining as Office Space. We also saw Martyrs on DVD, which was quite excellent but not recommended for the squeamish.

Over the past few weeks, I've been reintroducing oil and coffee into my regular diet. I was really just too strict with omitting the olive and canola oils from my foods. Not wanting to get a chemical peel/face lift before I'm 45, and wanting to maintain proper digestive movement, I figured some healthy allowance of fats would be a good thing. It was a little hard at first, admittedly. But, I'm learning to loosen up and it's getting better. For example, my lunch today was a homemade quinoa salad made with veggies from the garden (apparently, bunnies don't like peppers), toasted almonds, balsamic vinegar, honey, a little tamari soy sauce and dijon mustard. And enough olive oil to make the whole bowl glisten. *gulp*

Also, I'm having a cup of coffee during my pre-workout walks with the dog. I gotta say, it's really helped jump start my mornings. Bad or not, I think the morning coffee is here to stay for a while.

Oh God, what's next? Sour cream? Cheese? Scandalous!

Getting back to the Jillian workout, this DVD is sweet. It's cut my workout time by about 30 minutes, but I'm still getting the core and lower body workouts that I used to devote extra time on separately. And I'm sweating bullets. Efficient! I alternate the video every other day, riding the recumbent bike on the off days.

I better fit in Jillian all I can this month, because come October, she'll be on hiatus while I play this on the bike! *squeals*:

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 9/2/2009 & Getting My Ass Shredded

I picked up one of those Jillian Michaels DVDs--Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism--at the local FYE. It's on sale for $9.99, satisfying my cheapskate brain center. I'm not a JM Kool-Aid drinker, but I also read enough from other fitness bloggers to conclude that her workouts deliver a proper ass whuppin'. So I tried this workout this morning. And got my ass handed to me. It's comprised of interval training using cardio and strength training without equipment.

I did burpees for the first time. And walking planks. Walking planks are nasty mo fo's.

I never sweated so much in an hour. Or used such profanity. But I like it and will do it again like the desperate loser I am.

And this couldn't have come at a better time. I'm at 149.4 lbs. as of this morning, which means I've basically been maintaining for the last 3 weeks or so. The stationary bike's been boring me silly for the last couple of months. I tried everything from reading novels, changing workout music and even watching movies. But after finding myself watching Frost Nixon while biking and not breaking a sweat the whole time (duh!), it was time to switch things up. And not a moment too soon, because next on the DVD queue is Gandhi.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 8/26/09 & New Workout!

Well, I'm not totally thrilled that the scale told me I was down only 1/2 pound this week, to 149.2 lbs. While I suspect that the less-than-stellar loss has nothing to do with bad eating or fitness slacking, I'll spare you details about my pooping. Instead, I'm going to share a new workout that Bobzilla found for me that will really shake things up:

The Vinnie Jones Attack Cardio!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Size 6 on an All-BK Diet? Read it here first!

Friday night found us at a local Burger King. Yeah, I know. After checking their neat-o interactive nutrition menu on their website, I ordered the BK Veggie Burger w/o mayo or cheese. It was actually pretty good. I wasn't too worried about carbs and refined flours in the bun because it has the weight and density of air. With the veggie burger, I ordered a side salad. This is my impression of a BK garden side salad, sans cheese and croutons:

Well, it could've been worse.

While waiting in line at the supermarket last night, this magazine cover caught my attention:

Size 6? Really? Well, maybe she is, and the ample chest area has skewed my perspective. Either this is another example of vanity sizing, or an illustration of just how differently proportioned we all are and that ultimately size matters less than weight and measurement. Or a little bit of both. There's a photographic height and weight chart on the web that features pictures of real men and women. It's fascinating to navigate.

This song never gets old for is my go-to warmup workout song:

And how are these for some killer lyrics (taken from Neko Case's website):

Neko Case 2008









Friday, August 21, 2009

Goji is A-OK!

She slept fine, didn't puke and didn't try to walk into walls. She even took Bob on a run at the park. Much better than forcing syrup of ipecac down her throat.

Thanks for indulging my attention whore moment from last night. You floggers are the best.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I Picked the Wrong Week to Stop Sniffing Glue

I won a major appeal for my client today.

But that doesn't matter.

'Cuz right now I'm googling "mushrooms" and "poisonous" and "dogs". Yup. I was out with Gogji earlier today, putting together a pepper pot bouquet from my garden for a friend in my building and didn't notice the large bunch of orange mushrooms that seemingly sprung up after the rain.earlier today. Orange chanterelle-like 'shrooms within Goji's parameter. I didn't notice the 'shrooms until I was coming back in the house with her. The fungi looked disturbed. Like a dog might've eaten them. That kind of disturbed.

Bobzilla thinks I'm paranoid and should go to bed. I'm watching that stupid dog like a hawk for any signs of illness. Female anxiety trumps male whatevs every time. Right? So, it's gonna be a long night as I sit watch over the fur baby.

In the meantime, I've been checking my site stats, inspired by some interesting stats on Trish's blog. Apparently, my blog comes up a lot on searches by people looking for workout playlists. If I can make one person from the Midwest run the treadmill or spin while listening to the Butthole Surfer's "To Parter," my good works obligation on this Earth is fulfilled.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 8-19-09 and grumbles

I'm the exact weight I was last week: 149.6, which makes me neither happy nor disappointed. The wedding photo from the last post was just a single snapshot of the trouble I was getting into this past weekend, so to maintain is surely not the worst result.

Got a major case of the grumpies today that are caused in part by:
  • lack of sleep. Goji, who insists on sleeping with us, has been a restless sleeper lately, tossing & turning & scratching & kicking.
  • painful gas brought on by either Bobzilla's matar aloo (an otherwise delicious and spicy Indian peas and potato dish) or my rice bowls. Either way, biking this morning was difficult as a result.
  • both foot injuries have given me a strange gait when I walk. On the foot with the broken toe, I favor the inside of the foot to keep weight of the toe. On the other foot, I shuffle clumsily on my heel. Picture a frankenstein duck.
  • the air conditioning units in our windows have been leaking water everywhere. Bobzilla figured out the cause, but not without some considerable expense as a consequence of the water damage.
  • I can't seem to concentrate long enough to get anything done today. Probably a side effect of all of the above.
Oh well. Better times this week, I'm sure.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I Just Can't Catch an Eff'n Break

I should have known not to get all cocky with the before and after pics last night and shit.

While we were at a wedding tonight (of the particularly Greek festive type), I managed to get my other foot damaged under the crushing spike heel of an unsuspecting guest. Here's how the tootsie looks now, a few hours after the impact:

Yeah, that's gonna give me some problems tomorrow. What the pic doesn't show is a lumpy swelling about the size of a small egg. Biking just might not be in the immediate future. Crud.

And just when the other foot was healing from the toe damage. See...the little toe was just starting to return to normal:

But the injury was worth it to get this shot of the happy newlyweds, who were the sweet center of this dance circle. Opa!:

But, really, Bobzilla's hotness took all of the pain away. *le sigh*

Going to put on safety pads and head off to bed. Thanks, everyone for the supportive comments yesterday. I'll cling to them as I'm recovering from the amputation. *air kisses*

Saturday, August 15, 2009

So, yeah, about that...

I guess I reached my 100 lb. mark? Wow, who knew. I'm still trying to get used to this new flesh suit, seeing bones and clavicles and veins and wrinkles I never saw before. A mixed bag of "aahs" and "ewws." Yet, I just never stopped to think how far I've come.

You know the old adage, never look back? I call bullshit on that. Looking back is the injection we sometimes need to keep moving forward. This past Monday, MizFit posted a neato article on the overlooked strengths of looking back and celebrating past accomplishments. And it got me to thinking the rest of the week about my fatso past. Don't get me wrong. I was happy even in my fat suit. Life doesn't stop simply because you're carrying around a little extra baggage. So, I didn't stop having fun, didn't stop lovin', didn't stop living.

But, all of this talk about looking backward came to a head tonight while I was coming up with ideas for a retro dress to wear at a cocktail party that Bobzilla and I are hosting in a couple weeks. While brainstorming tonight, I came up with the retard idea of wearing my old prom dress to the party. I fetched it from storage and tried it on. To my surprise, the cheap-ass hooker dress fit. Junior size 11 and it fit. Granted, the zipper was a little tricky in some parts, but it fit. I am slackjawed still. Not just at the fashion sensibility that was 1987 (junior prom), but that I fit my near-middle aged ass into it. Whoa.

In anticipation of this blog, I dug up our old prom picture. But then I found a pre-wedding picture that I remembered being especially embarrassed about because I looked so "fat." Here's that pre-wedding photo, circa 1994:

A couple years ago, I would have been grateful to be back to that weight, I had gotten so much bigger. Yet, even at the time that pic was taken, I was so ashamed, I wouldn't show it to anybody. I kept it on the fridge to remind me not to overeat. *snickers*

Yet, that picture apparently was not motivation enough, because I got much, much bigger. Here's Bobzilla and me from about 4 years ago:

My, aren't we the picture of health?

Here's a really flattering shot:

(and yes, my hair was really that long. It doesn't take a PhD to figure out what I was unconsciously trying to hide with all that hair...and cigarettes...and large clothing).

Oh, I have so many more very embarrassing pics, but let's not drag this out.

About those prom pics....Here's Bobzilla and me circa 1987:

And here I am tonight:

K. This should keep me motivated for a little while longer.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 8/12/09 & Adventures in Lunch

I'm finally on the other side of the scale: 149.6 lbs! That's down 1 & 1/2 pounds from last week. *whew*

Lunch has been quite the adventure over the last few weeks. I've taken a break from my standard brown rice/veggie lunch delights to try different things. First, being lazy, I decided to have bunless veggie patties with rice and veggies. At first it seemed fine until 2-3 days into it, I noticed that everything was just rushing through my system. I wasn't sick, I just wasn't digesting anything either. I felt tired and light headed. As it turned out, it was the damned soy in those burgers. Really, we weren't meant to digest soy in the way and quantities that we do (soy seems just as prevalent in our diets as corn/corn syrup), especially in its non-fermented form. When you think about what it takes to make tofu (basically, like making soap), you gotta ask yourself whether there aren't better, more natural food choices out there. I could turn this post into a rant and cut and past research on the issue, but I'll save that for a future blog.

Then, I moved on to local restaurant options for lunch. At first I thought I found the Holy Grail in the form of Subway's little known veggie patty subs. And they were yummy--hot veggie patty on whole grain bread with tons of veggies and spicy mustard. Mmmm. And it didn't rot my guts like straight up soy burgers did, although there was some soy in it. However, all nutritional information was suspiciously absent from Subway's website. After much researching from other sources, I learned that it's fattier than you think and contains cheese and eggs. So much for being veggie. I don't mind eggs, but I cannot verify if the eggs are free range and organic. I'm not for putting anything in my mouth that was squeezed out of the nether regions of a genetically-modified, anti-biotic pumped, caged chicken that has no will to live.

Now, I tried being creative this week with found ingredients in my fridge. What I came up with is a yet-unnamed concoction made from scrambled "good" eggs, onions and black beans garnished with hot sauce and queso fresco, served over salad mix with brown rice cakes. While the final product looks not unlike engine sludge, it was quite tasty. Score! On the other hand, I just can't do eggs like that everyday.

Last night, we went shopping at my favorite--albeit long-distance--grocery store, Mustard Seed Market. After enjoying a dinner of broccoli & cauliflower dill salad and splitting a large asiago chicken breast with the hubs from their deli, I picked up some makings for an awesome veggie & rice bowl using this spicy peanut and ginger sauce. Can't wait to taste the results!

As I'm writing this, I'm enjoying a large, plump plum that I also picked up at the Market. Thanks for the reminder, Jelly Bean!

My little toe is still broke, but hasn't really interfered anymore. Maybe it'll just fall off one day. Sometimes evolution works way too slow.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In 8/5/09: Eh.

Broken toe + 4 day of sinnin' = 1/2 pound gain on the scale today. 151.2 lbs. My bathroom scale is like a kiddie park roller coaster ride here lately.


Saturday, August 1, 2009

Why, exactly, do we have little toes anyway?

Went shopping at A.J. Wright this afternoon and picked up two bags of clothing for $31.00, which contained:

3 bras
1 pair of Vera Wang (her perfume stinks) jeans
1 pair of Liz Claiborne (snob) workout pants
1 sports bra


I didn't try the clothes on because I was in a hurry, per usual. As it turned out, I got skinny jeans. *gasp* By accident. I'm wearing them. Size 10'ers. I gotta say, I'm not a fan of the skinny jeans. My ankles don't move so freely. While they lift my butt and thus cause Bobzilla to salivate, the jeans triggered strange tingling not unlike blood being cut off to my extremities. More importantly, I'm just too old for skinny jeans. They are best left on the bods of 20-somethings and emo boys with a surplus of white belts. I just don't want to die from blood clots. Ya know?

After that shopping blowout, we rushed home to meet the plumber who has been on a mission to discover why water keeps leaking under our bathroom. Fair enough. But, I kept telling the dude that the tub needed more grouting around the edges, but I'm a girl, so of course he bought supplies and did work that addressed everything but what was painfully obvious to anyone with a vag. And, of course, the leaking persists.

Goji had her first "accident" today. On one of our new bedroom rugs that bears a striking resemblance to grass. I don't blame her, and I'm not upset. I feel like we reached a milestone with our doggie, like we passed a real test. I spent tonight scrubbing the rug, beaming like a proud parent.

But, really, that's not why I'm blogging tonight. I am in serious pain, which in turn is pumping adrenaline into my system and keeping me up past my bedtime. The kind of pain you can only get when you drop a gallon Coleman thermos filled with fruit punch & ice on your little toe. Which is exactly what I did while preparing a Friday night munchie package for our drive-in date. Yeah, I crushed that little piggy. Crushed it real good.

The funniest--and saddest--thing was when I was searching the internets about broken little toes, and I came across a runner's message boards. Apparently, broken little toes are common. They just tape the suckers up and keep running like a broken bone is no big deal. Hard core.

So, the drive-in date was cancelled (bummer), and we stayed at home watching the rest of the first season of True Blood on DVD while my foot was propped up over the sofa. Oh, and this is why Gogi probably peed on our rug. We shoulda taken her out sooner, but I was boo-hooing over my toe. Bad parents!

My little toe looks like an undercooked blood sausage. I can't wait to see what it looks like tomorrow.

I have it taped to the neighbor toe, who doesn't appreciate the invasion of space. But I gotta do what I can to ensure I'm able to complete my workout tomorrow and then drive to Pittsburgh and attend this Slayer/Marilyn Manson concert that I promised my niece. Why, oh why, do the teenage nieces/nephews look up to us through those ridiculous cool shades? Do they not realize we are dorkier than the kids they shun at their high school?

So, I'm going to google "little toe" and "amputation techniques." I'm done with this already.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In 7/29/09 & CHUCK!!

Scale said 150.6 lbs this morning, down 1.8 poundages from last week. I'm storming the 140 gates!

And, for all those who follow his sordid adventures, a report on Chuck's stay with me has just been posted on his blog. Enjoy.

Now, I'm going to finish this dish of gelato and walk the dog!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Awesome 80's Workout!

I've been obsessed with creating new music playlists for my workouts. I can't listen to the same playlist for more than a few workouts before I quickly tire of it. And I was running out of ideas for some motivational tunage...until last night. While watching Meatballs with Bobzilla, I got to feeling nostalgic.

Remember all of those 80's action movies? The acting was pretty atrocious, to be sure. And the story & dialogue ridiculous, even laughable (every other line in Top Gun is dry-heave worthy). But the best part of those movies are the cheesy soundtracks. The Jan Hammer-esque drum machines, keyboards and male falsetto vocals seemed to appropriately undermine the testosterone-laden energy the songs tried so desperately to convey. Yet, common among all of the songs was the theme of staying strong in the face of adversity, of fighting through to the end. How perfect for a workout!

Here is my ultimate Cheesey 80's Soundtrack Workout playlist:

1. To warm up, let's start off with something a little less threatening for our stretches. Like, say, "You Got the Touch" from the animated Transformers movie. (Yes, that song was later covered in the movie Boogie Nights)

2. To start the heart pumping, "Never Say Die," by King Kobra from the awesome Iron Eagles is a great transition song.

3. Now, to reach maximum heart rate, nothing does the trick more effectively than "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins, from Top Gun, which would be perfectly paired with the elliptical:

4. Getting tired from riding that bike? Here's some inspiration from Frank Stallone, who reminds you that you may be down, but you are "Far From Over," from the underrated Staying Alive:

5. Pat Benatar's "Invincible" from the movie The Legend of Billy Jean will help you finish that last set of tricep curls:

6. Channel Stallone in Over the Top as you work those pull-ups, courtesy of Sammy Hagar's "Winner Takes it All"

7. Would Rocky stop running simply because he was winded or had excruciating cramps? Would he stop going into the ring simply because it might kill him? Hell, no. Grit your teeth, suck it up and keep going. As Robert Tepper wisely observes, there's "No Easy Way Out."* And there's no shortcut home:

8. As we cool down and stretch, envision yourself as Ahnold's character Kaminski in Raw Deal after you just handed the asses of Patrovita and his henchmen back to them. Yeah, that's some hard work. Now breathe deeply and bring your hips back to your neutral spine....

*"Eye of the Tiger" is for pansies. Save it for pilates.


I'll be circulating some ideas for the Winter 2010 Flog 'O Rama shortly. So much fun!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wednesday Weigh-In: 7/22/09 & Shtuff

It seems that these weekly weigh-ins have started to expand beyond simple scale readings and more like reports of everything I've been doing lately crammed into one weekly post. This has been one hella busy summer, and I underestimated my available free time. Every week I think things have wound down, but I ignore the calendar Bobzilla has hanging on the office wall behind me. That calendar is scrawled with notes, appointments and events for every weekend since May.

For instance, there's a party this Friday, the Yorktown Lanes Hot Rod Rock 'n Bowl this Saturday, bridal shower Sunday afternoon and Horror of '59's final show opening for Daikaiju at the Beachland Sunday night. Then there are weddings, concerts, travelling and more weddings coming up through September. Whoa.

So, I have no idea how often I'm going to be updating this blog beyond the weekly weigh-ins. I like being able to hop on the computer Tuesday or Friday night to just update random stuff or post new recipes, but I don't know if that's being realistic. I guess I'll follow Josh Homme's advice and just go with the flow.

The Health Front

I upped the weights for my tricep strength training to 15 pounds. Yeah, not exactly badass. But I can't handle anything heavier at the moment without breaking form. And my arms are sore. Guess that's a good sign.

Current workout playlist (mixed tempo songs to fit with interval training sandwiched by warm-up and cool-down tunes):

"This Tornado Loves You" Neko Case
"Flaming Telepaths" Blue Oyster Cult
"Barracuda" Heart
"Never Let Me Down Again" Depeche Mode
"Be Aggressive" Faith No More
"Consoler of the Lonely" The Raconteurs
"What Love Is" Rocket From the Tombs
"Spellbound" Siouxsie & the Banshees
"Die, Die My Darling" The Misfits
"Dead Moon Night" Dead Moon
"Burning Beard" Clutch
"What Love Is" Rocket From the Tombs
"Panic Switch" Silver Sun Pickups (the only good song they have. This band needs to get rid of that mouth breather of a lead singer)
"To Parter" Butthole Surfers
"Sensual World" Kate Bush (this would make a great yoga song...if I did yoga)

The Dog Front

Our first week with Goji turned out fairly well. She was a bit nervous and maladjusted the first few days--growling at the in-laws and neighbors, barking at other dogs and men in general, chasing the kittehs, etc. However, she's settled in nicely now and has gone on play dates with other dogs and behaves on her walks. Bobzilla takes her to a park almost everyday,and gets in his exercise on the fitness trail with her. His legs are throbbing from the runs. I usually walk her about a mile (before and after work) everyday, as well, which helps get my heartrate up before the workouts. Who knew Goji would be such a great fitness tool!

The Chuck Front

I got custody of Chuck the rubber cock this weekend and showed him all the redneck delights that Dragway 42's Rock 'n Race had to offer. It was magical.

On the Scale Front

152.4 this morning. A miniscule loss, more like a maintain. That's cool, though. I've been faithful with the workouts and eating per usual, so the pendulum will eventually swing my way once again.