I'm Not Fat Yet.

I didn't get fat again, despite popular assumptions about prolonged absences of bloggers in this particular community.  *lolz*  Current stats are on the sidebar  (155.6 lbs).

My blog was looking pretty wrecked and it took me a while to figure out how to fix it so that the sidebar appeared where it should and whatnot.  But I'z smart and I eventually figured it out.  Go me.

Pickle turned SIX MONTHS old recently.  Holy shit.  Half a year.  Seems like a lifetime, but what an amazing half year it has been.  I can devote a whole blog to poop and boobs alone.  Which I may do.  But not now.

One thing about raising an infant is that time is limited and precious.  "Thank you, Captain Obvious," right?  It's not that I have no time, but I do have to spend it wisely.  I have 90 minutes or so in the morning to get my daily shit together before I go into full on Working Mama Mode.  That means I have two options:

1.  Blog about how I don't have time to work out; or
2.  Work out.

I chose Option 2.  And the Work Out option works out.  Even when Pickle gets up early in the morning, I have found ways to incorporate Mommyhood into my fitness regimen:

See?  He works out (tummy time, rolling, playing) while I work out.

He is also useful as an extra set of weights.

I have so much more to blog about, but I don't have time.  And these veggies and hummus sitting on my desk aren't going to eat themselves.  I will still be popping in from time to time (who knows, maybe even more frequently than once every 4-5 months), but for now, ciao!

P.S. --I also had to change my side-bar "about me" to reflect the fact that I am no longer "30-something."  Hello middle age, nice to meet ya!

P.S.S. (or is it P.P.S.?)--Hang in there, Lacey.  He's in good hands and you'll be with him soon.

So, About My Resistance Bands....

It turns out that the near-fatal encounter with my resistance bands wasn't so unusual or a result of user error.

The brand of resistance bands that I used, Fitness Gear purchased from Dick's Sporting Goods, has been recalled due to reports of the bands breaking and causing lacerations, amongst other things.

Figures.

Back in the Saddle

This week, I returned to work from maternity leave. It was TUFF.

First of all, the Saturday before coming back, we found out that Pickle has a pretty severe milk protein allergy. I had reintroduced dairy into my diet, thinking that the Zantac was taking care of his reflux. That was a dumb mistake on my part. Now, for the next two weeks, he has to be on soy formula until the dairy clears my system and I can breastfeed him again. Soy formula is evil. It is mostly "corn syrup solids" and oil.

In the meantime, baby boy suffered from bad tummy distress. His normal newborn acne turned into angry red patches on his cheeks and neck. His poops...ick. Up through the night before returning for work, he was miserable. And so was I. I had a bad meltdown, worse than the normal hormonal baby blues, punishing myself for returning to work too early.

But we survived. I was a sad mess on Monday, calling home to Bobzilla every hour or so. He handled his new role as Stay at Home Dad ("SAHD") like a champ. The baby didn't break. And life went on.

There is one thing that hasn't been difficult: Working out.

Amazingly, Pickle has what closely resembles a feeding and sleeping schedule. He gets my ass out of bed by 5:00 or 6:00 a.m. He feeds and goes back down to sleep for another two hours. During the second morning snooze, I've been able to get my usual 60 minutes on the bike, walk the dog, feed the cats, take a shower, do my hair and makeup and pack things up for work. By the time he stirs from his sleep, I'm able and ready to focus on him until I leave and pass him off to Daddy. Hopefully, this will continue. I haven't been able to do my pre-pregnancy workout schedule of 90 minutes by including strength training. Still haven't touched the weights. Next week, I will try to fit the strength training in during the late afternoon/evening. I'm not going to kill myself, though. At least I'm getting some cardio in.

Since I've "sorta" returned to normal, I'll be posting and tracking my progress again.

My current weight is 157.4 pounds. I was 142 pounds pre-pregnancy, amounting to an approximate weight gain of 15 lbs.

I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to deal with my diet, if I make any changes at all. Breastfeeding has caused my appetite to go through the roof. I am ALWAYS hungry (and thirsty), and I eat obscene amounts of foods. About 80% of the food is healthy, thanks mostly to Bobzilla's homecooking. But I ain't gonna lie...I can tear a whole bag of tortilla chips up. And there were some milkshake and cheese binges that most likely triggered Pickle's bad dairy reaction last weekend. Since I need to be REALLY careful about making sure I'm eating enough to sustain breastfeeding, I'm not going to be too concerned about it for now and will just wing it until the scale sets off alarm bells.

There is no doubt that eating healthy pre- and post-pregnancy, and staying physically fit, has helped us create and grow a healthy, thriving spawn. Pickle started smiling and cooing at 4 weeks, which is considered an advanced development. 

Pickle is also holding up his head for long periods at a stretch, and is growing like a mo fo. He is alert and intensely observant during the day hours. This week, he's learned to play face games by copying faces we make at him.

He still hates baths, though. It's like a horror show when his toes even graze the bath water.

Still cannot believe we grew this thing:

Home Stretch: Bring on the Chocolate and Bacon

I have the best excuse in the world for not blogging for 8 weeks. Really, this pregnancy card gives me a free pass to do (or not do) anything, short of a 2nd degree felony. So why not play it, right?

This baby is going to make his entrance in less than a month. Less than a month. Am I ready? Probably not, but Bobzilla and I have sure worked hard to get ready. Multiple childbirth and childcare classes. Furniture set up. Clothes and bedding washed. Baby gear acquired and in place.

It helps that we have been the recipients of such overwhelming generosity by family, friends, clients, associates, even strangers. Otherwise, we'd be less than broke.

The baby shower was...wow:

This remains a very healthy pregnancy. Perfect blood pressure and weigh gain. Baby Vincent is strong, healthy and active. He's developing at the rate he should be. I'm kind of annoyed that my "advanced maternal age" is the reason I have to be strapped to a monitor for an hour every week, but Vincent's strong and healthy heartbeat is the sweetest "fuck you" that this old lady can give to those over-zealous geezer haters at the midwifery department.

I'm eating healthy, well, ok, probably 70% of the time. But give me a friggin' break. I have to eat more carbs and, well, when baby wants chocolate and cheese, he gets chocolate and cheese.

Still staying active. Here's what an 8+ month pregnant woman of "advance maternal age" looks like doing cardio:

...OK, you know how I was talking about how generous everyone's been? Just now, a friend showed up at our front door bearing bags of baby clothes. Sweet! I swear, when you become a first time parent, it's like you're automatically initiated into this elite club that you never knew existed before spawning. I likey.

I'm now at 36 weeks, about 9 months knocked up.



Final countdown!

Current craving: Spicy hot cocoa. Thankfully, the generosity of a friend has come through once more.

Happy New Year!

28 Weeks Later

It's been, what, 6 weeks since my last blog post? Despite my plan to slow down in October, things have been everything but slow and casual.

Here's the breakdown:

1. I lost my mom. It's ok, tho. We knew it was coming. She was elderly, suffered from dementia and had been sick for a while. I said goodbye to her two years ago.
   
   
2. I lost a good friend suddenly. That was not so easy to take.
   
   
3. Stupid gestational diabetes screening threatened to derail my natural childbirth plans. I blew a 180 on the first sugar test. 180!! So I had to carb load for 3 days, (150 grams a day!), fast for 12 hours and do the 3 hour blood sugar test. And, go figure, I passed the 3 hour test. I no has diabeetus! But that time period in between the first and second blood test put me in an emotional tizzy, as I was worried that I was diabetic and would be put on the C-section train.
   
   
   
   While I'm relieved things turned out ok, what a flawed testing system! It demonstrates how eating healthy will actually result in a false high blood sugar reading, causing unnecessary follow up work, unrealistic dietary changes and anxiety. After all, how else is the body supposed to react when it's forced to ingest 50 grams of glucose in one shot, when it is not used to even half of that amount of carbs/sugar in any 12 hour period? And how ironic that one way to pass the sugar test is to ingest an assload of carbs/sugar. Kind of calls into question the whole "low carb" way of eating.
   
   
   
4. Bobzilla started his own film blog. This means that we've been going to movie screenings about twice a week, usually at 7:30 at night on a school night.
   
   
5. Marathon shopping for maternity & baby room stuff. It took a week of driving all over Cleveland just to find the right dresser. We could probably stand to be less picky.
   
   
   
6. Speaking of the baby room, we spent 3-4 days moving around furniture, baby proofing, packing and hauling stuff in the attic to make room for baby.
   
   
   
7. Sis had her baby!
   
   Xavier arrived after only, like, 5 minutes of push time. I hope I have a super vag like her come delivery time.
   
   
8. Bob and I went on our last "babymoon," staying an extended weekend with my BFF in the Pen Mar blue ridge mountains. Le sigh. We all entered the annual Pumpkin Cooking Contest, using recipes we were perfecting since late summer.
   
   
   Bob's pumpkin pizza took third place!
   
   
   My pumpkin & cream cheese baklava took second place!
   
   
   Bridgie's pumpkin & mango curry was delicious, but did not place. She got skunked.
   
   
   
9. Two Halloween weddings in one day. Whew! One of them was a costume reception. Here we are, as Rosemary (and her baby) and the Devil (proud papa):
   
   
   
10. Reconnecting with lots of good friends. Ben. Alan and Margie and their uber babies. Christie and Tony. And LOTS of visits with Vincent's grandparents, who are probably more excited than we are. However, Bob suspects they are just using us to have some one-on-one time with Goji, who is really their favorite grandchild.
    
    
    
11. Zombie walk. Again.
    
    
    
    And it doesn't look like things are going to let up this month, either. Just this week alone, we are busy every day. We start our first weekly childbirth class tomorrow night. They're 3-hour sessions after work. Ugh. More movie screenings. Funeral on Friday, followed by a memorial on Saturday. I also have to find time to cook some GF desserts for the baby shower/Hell-has-frozen-over party, which--holy shit--is this coming Sunday!
    
    Sure glad we did absentee voting this election.
    
    And after that? Bi-weekly prenatal appointments, more baby classes (CPR, breastfeeding, daddy bootcamp, etc.), the holidays and BAM! Baby.
    
    

    BABY UPDATE:
    
    

    I am now in my third trimester, at 28 weeks. I can't believe we're almost 7 months along now! So far, this has been a healthy pregnancy. Vincent's growth is right on target, and his heart rate is going strong. Blood pressure is excellent, as are the bodily fluid tests and misc. prenatal checkups. No edema/swelling or bloat. I've now gained around 18 pounds and am steadily gaining a pound a week.
    
    
    

    
    

    I still maintain 90 minutes of fitness every morning, one hour of cardio + 30 minutes of strength/core exercises. In fact, I think the regular exercising has really helped during this pregnancy. While I definitely poop out at times, my energy level has been pretty good. The special prenatal core exercises I follow on Babyfit will, hopefully, prime this body for some effective and efficient baby popping in a couple months.
    
    My mood is strong, and I actually *like* carrying this parasite around. The belly and its jerky, jumpy, squirmy contents are an endless source of fascination for me.
    

    
    
    

    Downsides? My hair is growing wacky and fast. I've given up on regular haircuts and have accepted bad hairdays as the norm. I pee a LOT. Especially at night, so straight 7-8 hour sleep is a distant memory. Heartburn is practically constant, with the baby pushing up against my stomach. Gum and Tums help some. I just can't eat a full meal except on a few occasions. Instead, I nosh here and there constantly.
    
    I'd like to say I will get on top of all my blog following, but I just don't know if that's being realistic. While I still read many fitness and health blogs (waves at Shelley, Cammy, Trish, TJ, Patrick, Ariel, Fat Daddy, Bobbie) I am spending most of what little free time is left hanging out at Babyfit and reading baby books (4 of them are currently stacked on the toilet tank).
    
    Current food craving(s): Peanut butter with anything.
    

Oh yeah, about that ultrasound from 3 weeks ago...

We're having a boy.

His name is Vincent Christopher. Just don't call him "Vinnie." That's too Jersey Shore for my tastes. *shudders*

All genetic screening tests came back about as good as they could get, with like a 1 in a gazillion probability that he has an abnormality. His heart is strong, over 145 bpm. He is extremely active--I started feeling him kick and squirm from the outside of my tummy at 19 weeks. Bobzilla felt him move last night. *gushes*

He has both brain hemispheres, all organs and is growing ahead of his gestational age. So despite my initial concerns about not gaining enough weight, he's getting what he needs and is thriving.

Speaking of weight...I am now 10 pounds heavier! About friggin' time. Had a growth spurt over the last 10 days or so. In just the last 3 weeks, I gained over 5 pounds!

And the belly keeps expanding. I now use it as a laptop rest. The laptop sometimes jiggles from the baby kicks. *lolz*

My sister, who is due in THREE DAYS, tells me that her boy is so fidgety and powerful that he can steer the car. Yikes!

Physically, I feel better than I have since early May. I am less tired overall and am more mentally focused.

On the other hand, my stamina for physical activity has gone down. I still work the bike an hour every morning, but not at the same speed or intensity because I overheat quicker. Bobzilla and I go to at least one show a week, and standing for more than 30 minutes or so is now a real drain. We often leave early, or I pace the club looking for a place to sit and sip my club soda and lime. We went to see an old band of his last Thursday, where I sat on the barstool all night and kept watching the clock wanting to go home. I like seeing our friends, but I feel less sociable because of this. Don't think I can keep doing that sort of thing and may be staying home a lot more beginning October. Which is fine. It'll give me time to engage in wacky nesting behavior that all the mommy friends tell us will hit this trimester. And catch up on Breaking Bad--I really want to watch that show!

I can't wait for my nephew Xavier to make his introduction early next week! My sis has an induction scheduled for the 21st. Wow. An appointment to have a baby. Craziness.

This week's food craving: Watermelon. Still.

My Biggest Fear Came True Again!

Well, it finally happened. My resistance band snapped while I was doing strength training. This pretty much sucks, because I've gotten used to the convenience and freedom of the bands.



It also sucks cuz it hurt! The band whipped across my arm while I was doing military presses:


This is the second time I had a resistance band mishap, the first time being slapped in the face when it came undone from my feet. While I'm lucky I didn't lose an eye, I'm not sure there should be a third accident, so I may have to retire the bands.

Fitness can be a dangerous activity. Stay safe out there, kids!

Wednesday Weigh In 6/...oh, wait. Nevermind.

Not having to report weekly weigh-in results has un-tethered me to this blog. I haven't posted in, what, 3 weeks?

I've been leading a pretty intense jury trial which finally concluded today with the verdict, which took the jurors 2 days to deliberate. The result? A King Solomon where both sides got something. Now, I have about 3 weeks worth of backed-up work piled on my desk that I had to put aside while doing the trial gig. No big thang.

Staying fit and eating right during these hectic last few weeks was a bit of a challenge, but doable. Had to cut back my workouts to an hour each morning (hello, five a.m.!) and stuck with less-than-perfect cafeteria fare offered at the courthouse for lunch. All in all, I did pretty well. I'm actually below 138 pounds, which was a bit of a shocker to me.

Getting new suits in appropriate sizes was the bigger challenge. I hate spending money on clothes. Hate it. Most suits retailed at about $150 on clearance and I just couldn't cave. The single size 10 jacket I have hanging on my office coat rack wasn't going to get me through each day and it was looking pretty sad on me. I did have to buy a new jacket for $70 on clearance, and it brought tears to my eyes. Thankfully, Bobzilla took me to some consignment shops later and I scored a never-worn Ann Taylor suit, dress blouse and 2 jackets for about what I paid for that damn $70 dollar coat. Oh, and they're all size 6's. Yay me.

In between all the trial work, Bob and I snuck away for a 3-day retreat at my BFF's fabulous estate in the Maryland Blue Ridge Mountains. We tried Ethiopian cuisine for the first time. Loved it. As leftovers the next morning? Not so much. Miz BFF and I share a passion for vintage clothes and we spent Saturday night modeling some crazy 60's and 70's fashion, acting the fools.

Bobzilla got me this outrageous dress as a (23rd!) anniversary present earlier this month. The hippie chick in the bodice? She's showing nip. Both of 'em. No lie. I swear, this pattern must've also been used as wallpaper:


I need the perfect shoes to go with this dress. Preferably some shiny white babies with a chunky heel. Or maybe white boots.

My garden is growing out of control. Sadly, due to the unseasonably warm weather, the broccoli bolted before it even grew full size. On the upside, the tomatillos, lettuce and the prized jolokia pepper plant are thriving. There's gonna be some good eatin' in the house pretty soon.

My other BFF just ran her first 4k last weekend and I'm proud as a mama. It was freakin' hot that day, but she still pulled it off in 45 minutes. A-may-zing!

And Bob? Holy shit, he's been hitting the bike and weights practically every morning, on top of his runs with the dog after he takes me to work. What's significant about this is that he just does it without making a big announcement about it, like it's a noteworthy event. He's treating it like an everyday routine now. Kick. Ass.

In totally unrelated fit 'n healthy news, we've been watching the TV series The IT Crowd on Netlix Instant View. It may just be better than The Office. Perhaps it's because we relate much more intimately to the show given our own geek backgrounds.

Wednesday Weigh-In 6/2/2010: The Final Edition

I never set an official "goal" for myself when I first set my mind to lose weight 3 or so years ago. I liked the idea of 140 pounds, but never put a target on that number. At around 250 pounds, I was happy at the idea of just going down to a size 16, ideally a size 14. 140 pounds has been a magical number for me. There's no logical reason for it. I just remember weighing 14o in jr. high/early high school and that I kept getting heavier ever since. And 140 seems reasonable. It's not, like, an anorexic size for someone of my 5'7" body. It's a solid, healthy zone. Yeah, 140 was pretty much the golden grail for me.

So, I finally made it to 140.0 on the beloved Tanita scale. Finally.

Now what?

Well, not much will be changing. I'm still going to work out 6 days a week, the usual program of 1 hour cardio/30 minutes strength training (different muscles on alternating days). As I head into my 40th year, this amount of exercise is about right for maintenance.

I don't think my eating is going to change. For so long now, I've been eating what I want in reasonable portions. And what I want happens to be lots of home-cooked meals made from whole foods, lean meats, veggies, nuts, cheese and fruits. I also have a serving of gelato every night. Of course, I still eat out and don't really fuss too much about what's on the menu because I only eat half of what I order anyway. I don't count calories anymore. I got this. It's ingrained.

I'm not worried about losing weight anymore, and I doubt I'm going to lose any more pounds, although I promised myself I would cut back a little on the workouts if I still lost weight. That's not likely to happen though. Getting to 140 has been a slow and easy landing. This is a comfortable place for my body to settle down.

Just to make sure that all departments in my brain are on the same page in terms of maintenance, I'm going to stop posting my weekly weigh-ins. I do still weigh myself every day, but the concept of "reporting" a weight every week places undue emphasis on weight-loss, which is not the mode I'm in anymore. If, in the future, I start noticing gains or losses of 5 pounds or more, then I'll record it and adjust the food and fitness accordingly.

And so, that's that.

I've been a bad blogger lately in that I'm rarely posting comments on anyone else's blog and just being an overall lazy bitch. I could blame work and hectic real life, but really, I do that enough already. So, I'll just acknowledge my lameness and leave it at that.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 5/26/2010 & Crazy Train

140.6.

I'm hanging on to this blog by my fingernails while the weight of real life is strapped firmly around my ankles, pulling me the other direction.

Work, work, work is driving me insane and sapping all of my free time. Well, except for the exercise. Gotta always make time for that. For example:

I'm supposed to be leaving for an appointment at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow. To accomplish this, I initially resigned myself to missing my first weekday workout in months. *gasp* But I came to my senses and have instead decided to just get up at 5:00 a.m. and fit the workout in that way. Yup, I'm totally sane here.

Wednesday Weigh-In 4/28/10 & How Much is Too Much or Not Enough?

Posting Wednesday weigh-ins on Friday now. Getting better. I'm hanging on to this blog by a thread lately. Anyway, weighed in at 142.00, about a half-pound loss. No big whoop.

Zombie Walk was, as always, a big party of blood, booze and brains. Our zombie destroya' team double-tapped practically half of the 500+ ghouls, which ain't half bad. Here we are refueling and reloading:

Me, Meg and Mariah

This was the team logo I designed for our clothes. ZWAT...lolz:

WORKOUT UPDATES

Since the beginning of April, I have done a major overhaul of my daily workout routine. Jillian has been shelved, sadly. As much as I loved indulging my Jillian girl-crush and taking on the challenge of completing all levels of the Shred, the benefits did not outweigh some issues. The big drawback is the pounding my knees took. Plyometric training is the foundation of The Shred and Blast Fat/Boost Metabolism: Jump Squats. Rock Stars. You get the idea. While I felt like a badass doing them, I was regularly humbled post-workout by the knee pain that would set in. I had about as much difficulty navigating stairs as I did when I was running.

But not all of the Jillian moves are so easily disposable. Walking pushups, boxing with handweights, and other upper body moves she employs are sure keepers. So, I incorporate them into a new workout plan that I devised and will post later this weekend since I forgot to email it to myself before I left for the office. *slaps self*

Between eliminating plyometrics/intertal training from my daily workout regimen and going back to old-fashioned cardio and reading Merry's blog post recently asking the question How Much Cardio Do You Do?, I got to thinking about how much exercise we really need to get and stay healthy.

Currently, I workout 90 minutes every morning, 6 days a week: 30 minutes strength training followed by 60 minutes of cardio on the bike. Is this too much, not enough, or just right?

The answer depends, I guess, on the type of cardio and a person's age and weight range. The guvment chimes in that adults need at least 150 minutes of exercise every week to maintain good health. Kids/young adults need more, about an hour every day. That is just for maintenance.

As we get older, the amount of minimum exercise goes up. The esteemed Dr. Gupta has cited authority that at least an hour every day is necessary to maintain weight and fend off weight gain. The same amount is recommended for overweight women who are trying to lose weight.

The hour-a-day recommendation mirrors that cited by The Institute of Medicine (click on the internal link on that page to read the full report for free). Not just 60 minutes of any activity, but 60 minutes of vigorous exercise that is in addition to what you normally do day-to-day. So, housecleaning, wrangling kids, and laundry don't count. This is just to maintain healthy weight. For the obese or overweight, while an hour a day is great, you still need to include calorie restrictions in the diet. On the other hand, if you restrict calories, but only walk or exercise 15-30 minutes a day, it still might not be enough for long-term weight gain.

Applying this to my own experience, in the beginning I lost some weight biking only 20 minutes for 3 days a week. But then the weight loss would stop after 20 or so pounds. I increased biking to half hour then 40 minutes 5 days a week. Again, I lost some weight but quickly hit a wall again, even when restricting calories. Long-term, effective weight loss did not happen for me until I upped the cardio to an hour a day. I'm finally at my goalish weight, but does that mean I can scale back? Given my age and weight stats over the last 4 months, probably not. I'm maintaining at an hour a day, with healthy eating.

As for plyometric or interval training, this has become somewhat of a holy grail for those looking to reduce the amount of time devoted to exercising, the theory being that if you work harder for shorter periods of time, you'll achieve the same result. "Get the benefits of 60 minutes of exercise in only 20 minutes!" Really? The effectiveness of interval training remains the subject of much debate, and I'm not convinced that it works over time, especially given that higher-endurance workouts can increase the risk of injury, especially for those of us nearing, at or past middle age.

I tried intervals, loved it, but noticed that I really didn't lose much weight, if any, on an interval/plyometric program. While I sweated my ass off, there were no real results to report on the scale that were significantly different from what I achieved doing traditional cardio for an hour. On the other hand, my physical endurance increased, my muscles definitely strengthened and I lost inches. No small benefit there. But on the other other hand, the pain and injuries around the knees proved too much for me to continue. So in other words, this type of exercise depends on the person and his or her ability to maintain proper form. If it works for you, it works for you.

Developing muscle strength is nonetheless important, so rather than jump around like a kindergarten spaz, upping low-impact strength training seems to be a viable option. Thus the additional half hour of weight training each day. My new fitness goal is to lift my own body weight via chin up or pull up.

Really, everybody should be able to do this in the event of some Poseiden Adventure-type disaster so that we can pull ourselves up and out of a capsized ship or some shit.

Wednesday Weigh-In 4/21/2010 and Gonna Kill Some Zombies--BRB

Wednesday I was down a little over a pound and a half, to 142.6 lbs.

Just a quick check-in, and them I'm outtie. This is my birthday weekend and today is the semi-annual ZOMBIE WALK, the funnest way to get in one's fitness. This time around, a small group of us are storming the walk as a zombie destroyer team. Ahhh...so much better than the NBA playoffs.

Hope everyone stays alive this weekend!

Wednesday Weigh-In: 3/31/10 and Up Up and Down Down

I've been so caught up getting crap out of the way to enjoy this 3 day weekend,that I pushed off doing my Wednesday report. Realizing it's now Thursday night, I had to force myself away from playing God of War III to be "responsible." *rolls eyes*

I had been doing the Shred for so long that some parts of it are ingrained in my head, like a bad earworm. Yesterday, I weighed in at 150.00, which is about a half pound gain from the prior week. Immediately, I thought of that part on Level III of The Shred where you're doing the walking planks on the second go 'round while Jillian chants "...and UP UP and DOWN DOWN and UP UP and DOWN DOWN..." Yup, that's me. So what of this gain? It could be water weight. It could be muscle gain from increased strength training, it could be last weekend's Amish getaway where we spent the entire time in a hot tub eating cheese and drinking grossly sweet Amish wine , or a combination of everything. What it ain't is something I should concern myself with. But that's not to say that I don't anyway. Stupid scale head games.

Oh, about that strength training, I found some great new (or rather, new to me) videos on Spark People that have been added to my morning workouts:

1. Crunchless abs! I friggin love this workout, and so does my back.



2. Fun with resistance bands. Now, I don't follow this whole video. However, Coach Nicole does an informative demo of how to do rows and chest flies with bands, which I have worked into my regular strength training regimen.



Tomorrow, we're off for a picnic and romp in the park with the doggy. Then a drive-in movie later on. Yup, it's drive-in season! We're going to milk this good weather as much as we can, since it'll probably snow again next week.

So Now What?

Looks like I'm over the mini-pregnancy hump.

I finished the last of the antibiotics and the 800 mg-of-motrin-every-6-hours regimen that was wreaking havoc on my stomach and bowels. My gut cramped when it was empty, and cramped up again when I did eat something. The pre-natal vitamins with the "magical" iron side effects are out of my system.

Prolonged bathroom episodes and other unmentionable symptoms of a uterus turning itself inside out and violently puking are, for the most part, gone. Par-tay!

Any resemblance between me and Ozzy are purely coincidental.

So what now?

Well, there's no point in spilling my emotional guts any longer here, is there? Nope. So, no more sobby blogging about what was and what coulda been and what was lost.* The best therapy?

EXERCISE.

A return to the old workout routine this week has proven to be quite therapeutic, albeit a little painful. On early Monday morning, I popped in Jillian's Fat Blast/Boost Metabolism DVD. This was the first time I did this 40-min. workout since January. And, whoa. My legs, abs and shoulders were screaming the next morning. Fuck the pain. The following day? Back to Level I of the 30 Day Shred! Apparently, riding the recumbent bike and doing moderate resistance band training while pregnant really didn't maintain certain muscles, which atrophied during that brief Jillian hiatus. Who knew?

While temporarily painful, this return to high-endurance workouts was the single best, kindest thing I've done for myself lately. To sweat again, grunt, curse, breathe and just feel alive really made a difference in my mindset. This is a comfort that I could never find from junk food, sweets, alcohol or afternoon TV. With three + years of constant physical fitness and healthy eatin' in my routine, the good habits have become so ingrained that my brain is wired now to take pleasure from them. This gives me hope as I go into middle-age. I'm in a place where being physically active is its own drug. It's what my body craves and needs, and I can ably provide. I am past the point of no return.

And that's that.

Back to the Wednesday Weigh-Ins and all that crap next week.

In the meantime, I've been noshing on some excellent cauliflower salad and lentil salad from our local health food market, Nature's Bin. Definitely my go-to snacks for this weekend! Sadly, they did not have their infamous broccoli slaw. *sniff*



*Ok. A few things before I let this whole pregnancy miscarriage thing go.

Thank you, thank you for the thoughtful comments. The last post was a hard one to write. I felt that I needed to address what had happened before I could move on to normal blogging. I struggled with whether I should disable comments because of the frank and, well, personal nature of what I was thinking and going through. I'm glad I didn't.

I'm not looking to start an abortion debate, but I have to get this off of my chest:

Being faced with an unplanned pregnancy was a new experience that I often thought about, but was never fully prepared for. Before, I was a staunch Pro-Choice supporter. And I still am, even more so.

This was a tough, extreme experience that many readers have gone through already. It is one thing to advocate terminating a pregnancy. It is quite another to have to deal with it first-hand. It is the most difficult crossroad I ever had to deal with. I respect what every woman and couple have gone through. This is not a casual decision. I can't imagine what it's like for a pregnant woman who, for instance, isn't in a solid relationship with a committed partner or who is pregnant as a result of abuse or incest. Therefore, I really cannot judge the decision of another woman in that position. It is a serious matter left for her alone to decide. She is dealing with complex issues, so being told what she decides may be morally "wrong" is cruel and pointless. She is going through enough already. Let her be.

It is not a matter of being pro-life or not. Frankly, what I had in me was not a "life" per se. It was a potential for life. What I learned from my doctor is that many pregnancies--as much as 50%--end in miscarriage. And in my case, that potential for life fizzled. It was not viable. Having to carry the bad pregnancy and wait for the miscarriage to "just happen " was more emotionally, physically and financially dreadful than just terminating it early, to wit:

1. Early term abortion. Less than $500. Minimal medical intervention and physical trauma. Greater psychological closure. Done and done.

2. Carrying a non-viable pregnancy for another 6 weeks. Five ultrasounds, doctor's visits (where doctor keeps encouraging us to hold on and keep going, despite bad ultrasound results and non-existent hormone blood work that I was still charged for) and lab costs are over $3,800.00. The emergency hospital treatment for the miscarriage alone is totaling $3,200.00 so far, and that was just for one evening. Medication and vitamins, about $150.00. Preliminary monetary total, about $7,150.00 for medical costs. Emotionally, an extreme rollercoaster where we accept, reject and accept again the pregnancy, and then are informed it ain't happening--something we had suspected from the beginning.

Winter Excuses

I've always thought that cold weather was the powerful force against weight loss. I mean, it makes sense. We're so often told that our metabolisms shut down during the dark, cold days of winter and go into hibernation mode. That the desire to eat more and pack on/retain fat is "natural." Not surprisingly, S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is the current weight loss fail scapegoat. Less sunlight = less Vitamin D and thus less energy, or so the theory goes. So, trying to stay fit and healthy during the winter is a no-win proposition. Even unnatural. Right?

Uh, no.

We can learn a thing or two from Icelanders. We think winter here (well, at least up North) is bad. But in Iceland, not only is the climate brutal but the country gets, on average, only 4 hours of sunlight in the winter. Relatively speaking, they eat a fairly high caloric diet consisting of fatty lamb, dairy, carbs, fried pancakes and fritter-thingies and lots of sweets. And, of course, fish. Fried, salted, preserved fish. Poultry meat is not a staple (they don't like to eat birds, traditionally), but they wholly welcome eggs into their diets. Yet, Iceland ranks as one of the top healthiest nations in the world. Why is that?

For one, Icelanders do not "shut down" in the winter. They are, for the most part, quite physically active. Even in the dark. They enjoy numerous sports, and are renowned for their great strength.

Perhaps the explanation lies with their badass Viking genes.

Public Domain and Fair Use, so suck it.

Maybe this is explained by generations of evolution where only the strongest and fittest survived. Or perhaps they are onto something that we cannot quite accept: That life goes on even in the most challenging conditions. Rather than succumb to it, we can and should adapt, move on, and make the best of it.

I just watched an Anthony Bourdain "No Reservations" episode where he stayed in Iceland in the dead of winter. One day, he visited a local gym, which was packed with buff-looking men and women who were vigorously engaging various exercise equipment even as icy blackness loomed just beyond the glass walls. Before and after their workouts, they eat large bowls of fatty lamb stew. No protein shakes, oatmeal, cereal or skipping meals.

Physical activity in Iceland is a way of life that is ingrained early on. Icelandic authorities* recommend at least an hour of moderately intensive physical activity at least 5 days per week for children to maintain physical health.** Is that what your child is doing? Is that what YOU are doing?

This kind of calls into question these old notions we have about winter. About how cold weather and lack of sunlight bring us down. As Icelanders have shown, these are no excuses. In fact, they take advantage of the time they have indoors to devote to physical fitness. Sure, they fuel up on necessary carbs, proteins and fats. But they also burn it off.

Why, then, can't we? Are we using "winter" as another excuse?

For me, this winter has been challenging in the sense that I have turned into the biggest freeze crybaby ever. I wrap myself up much like Ralphie's little brother, Randy, even indoors. On the other hand, since I'm cooped up, I've been spending a little more time on the morning workouts. Workouts warm me up, and so I'm not cold anymore. Sure, I get tired, but that's usually after I come home from work. It's a process of whining and then adapting. Since I have more dark time in the morning, I use it to exercise more.

While I may sound pretty self-righteous saying all of this, the fact is that we all have the ability to change and adapt. We shouldn't misinterpret initial, petty negative body signals to mean that we just can't do it. Sure, the darkness is a downer and we feel more tired at certain times. But summer hotness also drains some energy out of us. So do Spring allergies. When will the excuses stop and the will take over? Exercising counteracts a lot of those bad feelings. After a little while of daily, consistent activity, it will be as if weather weren't an issue at all.

Yeah, we definitely could learn a thing or to from those eccentric, but sensible, Bjork-ies.


* Well, U.S. authorities, too, but most of us tend to pooh-pooh them anyway.

**While the study shows that Icelandic children have increased their physical activity over the last ten years, Western couch-potato trends have spread their tendrils into the brain stems of a lot of adolescents, and more physical activity is recommended.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 1/27/10 & Shtuff

I was at 143.00 again yesterday. Fine by me. The scale today actually has me at a lot less, but whatever. I'm getting used to the fact that there isn't going to be much excitement with the scale anymore, unless I purposefully start gaining weight or come down with a terminal illness. Instead, the focus has been on toning and shit.

Didn't get a chance to post the weigh-in earlier because a.) I found out my sister is pregnant. And probably twins. Her first daughter just turned 18. So she has another 20 years of parenting, squared. Yowza! b.) I had to go along with Bob to watch a screening of the new flick When In Rome yesterday. It was horrible and put me in a downer mood the rest of the evening.

I blew my right knee. Again. I put Jillian back in her cage for now and have gone back to my usual 60 minutes of recumbent biking and 30 minutes or so of fun with resistance bands. I still do her knee-friendly-ish core circuits, tho. They rock.

So the H1N1 vaccine (or the "hynie shot" as Bobzilla calls it) is now available at our local pharmacy. We were going to get them yesterday but I wussed out. Even a one in a million chance of a horrible reaction is enough to set off my anxiety alarms. We'll try again today. If I don't post something within the next 7 days, that means I'm probably dead.

Oxygen is the best thing ever.

What was seemingly a harmless cold turned out to be one of the nastiest respiratory viruses to plague the household. Almost a week to the day after Bob got sick, I got hit. It started off innocently enough, but by Christmas Day, I was curled up in the corner leaking essential fluids from my throbbing head while the rest of the family pretended death wasn't creeping their way across the room:

A few days after that, and things got worse as the bug hit my chest. Breathing became the most important activity. I had to bid adieu to Jillian and attempted "gentle" workouts on the bike, but when breathing was too difficult, workouts were shelved altogether. I expelled copious amounts of unspeakable things from my lungs as I sat around feeling sorry for myself, watching five seasons of The Office on streaming Netflix and playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook as the dog whimpered at my feet over the lack of attention. Did I feed her? I can't remember.

Sleep was difficult due to the coughing fits. Prescription cough medicine helped, but it turned me into a dopey night zombie and plugged me up.

There were no shameless bouts of bingeing and celebration. My biggest treats over the two-week holiday marathon were a half dozen or so amaretti cookies, a glass of eggnog, Lemonheads and two pots of home made chicken soup (per Alton Brown's recipe, highly recommended). And some cheese. New Year's was dry...the first dry New Year's since '88, I think.

Last week, I started getting better and returned to the tough-love arms of Jillian, but I had to start back at Level 1. That was rough and I went back to the bike.

This week, I'm feeling near-normal and the coughing has subsided. Breathing capacity is at about 90%. So, yay.

The scale stayed steady at 143 during Christmas and New Years, then up to 147 (!) late last week, then down to 144.6 today. I can't really put much stock in those numbers, though, given the circumstances. Even if I were at a loss, it's not like a real victory anyway. The "official" weigh-ins will resume next week, assuming I successfully dodge future plague bullets.

On the plus side, Bob got me some sweet resistance bands for Christmas, which I have been using and LOVING. There is an element of danger to using them. I can't help but think one of the plastic clasps will break, causing a band to whip across my face and take out an eye. And a tooth or two. So, it makes my workouts that much more badass. Rawrrrr!

I've been lurking and reading many blogs, but haven't the time or energy to catch up in one fell swoop. I am energized by so many bloggers' new-found commitment to a fit and healthy New Year, as well as others' continued success (and reasonable bitchiness!), and look forward to following their progress.

And the new season of Biggest Loser has started already. Dammit.

Thanksgiving Weekend Breather

First off, my weight last Wednesday was 145.6, back exactly to what it was 2 weeks ago. I didn't have time to post a Wednesday Weigh-In and update, between office wind-up and food prep. I'm more interested to see what the scale says next Wednesday.

Thanksgiving itself was pretty great. We spent it with Bob's family and it was actually one of the best Thanksgivings we have shared. I handled the turkey and pumpkin squares (made from scratch...including the pumpkin itself), Bob made his GF mac 'n cheese, and his mom pretty much slaved over everything else. The turkey (which I had brined the day before) came out especially tasty and juicy. There were no food disasters or kitchen mishaps. This was also our dog's first Thanksgiving, and she was very well-behaved and goofy. She was the centerpiece of the day.

No, I didn't pig out. But I have a weakness for the gamey dark meat. And Sandi's cranberry orange jello mold. A peek at the scale the next day showed zero gain, so that's good.

For Black Friday, we avoided the big box stores and chains, and instead stuck to all local shops and artists. The highlight was hitting up the Bazaar Bizarre, featuring some of the most unique, neat-o wares by local DIY artists. Artisan glass, found object wearable art, scarab jewelry made from watch gears, marshmallow soap...I was overwhelmed by such talent. And THE coolest T-shirts I ever saw, designed and sold by Psycho Reindeer. I couldn't resist picking up a shirt for myself:

Today, we went to the newly-restored Capitol Theatre and saw The Fantastic Mr. Fox. It was fantastic. Tonight, Master Chef Bob made Vindaloo (basically, Indian hash) from some of the 10 pounds or so of leftover turkey. It was quite tasty:

Yeah, Goji wasn't too far from the turkey. She's developed quite a taste for it. Our cats don't much care for turkey, but this dog goes apeshit for it and will actually go through her whole repertoire of tricks without being commanded to do so. Impressive.

And tonight we are staying in and watching some DVDs, starting off with a zombie movie to get into the holiday spirit. Tomorrow, we'll be taking Goji to the park for a run and some frisbee action. Later, we'll be putting up the holiday decorations and tree, which will no doubt be destroyed by Monday. Goji was already trying to pull down the (empty) pet stockings that I just hung on the mantle.

Still working out every day (except Sunday). I'm up to Level Two on the Jillian shred, which I alternate every other day with the other Jillian vid, with an extra 30 minutes on the bike for cool down. Yeah, the bike's a cool down. It's my recovery after those got dam walking push-ups, plank jacks, squat thrusts and lunges w/bicep curls. *shudders*

Wednesday Weigh-In: 11/11/09 & Looking Back

Since I've been feeling perfectly healthy for several days, the "official" weigh-ins are back on. Scale tells me I'm at 145.6 lbs. That's a two-pounder loss since the last WI two weeks ago. While I am pleased, the scale numbers matter less and less. My body seems to have changed rapidly over the last 2 months or so. The tummy is most definitely flatter. Muscle tone is becoming visible everywhere...back, shoulders, thighs, abs. So weird. I've never looked like this before. It's like everything is settling in. One day in the near future I might be drunk brave enough to take and post pics. Right.

But even more than that, I feel good. Consistently. No, not the high and low extreme feelings from earlier in this process, but, well solid. I am more active even in passive activities, and it's effortless. For example, I take my dog on 20 minute walks twice a day. Years ago, I would have considered just one 20 minute or half-hour walk to count as exercise towards weight loss (Not surprisingly, the weight did not come off as expected, except for the typical 10-15 lbs of water weight that initially slides off whenever I began a diet/fitness plan). Now, it's just routine, a part of life in addition to my normal 60-90 minute workouts. I can shop forever. I usually don't buy anything, but I like to walk around and just look. And it doesn't wear me out. Even when I was sick, it only lasted about 3 days and I was still doing things. A far cry from what things were like 1 or 2 years ago.

In fact, there is an embedded normalcy to this. Often, I find little to talk about anymore on the weight loss front. What was a milestone before is now just "meh." Healthy eating is so everyday--so innocuous--that trying to sing praises about my meals seems forced. Right now, I'm lunching on an artichoke and spinach salad in a lemon dressing with a slice of roast lean meat. I could tell you how awesome and healthful it is. But, whatever.

Wait. It has kalamata olives. Now I AM excited.

Wednesday Weigh-In: 10/7/09 and Poopsicles.

149.00. Inneresting.

Maybe next week, I'll sprout an appendage.

On the Jillian front, I can do 2 sets of walking planks without my lips turning blue. And I've introduced deltoid weight lifting to my regimen last week. I love telling the hubs about my "delts" because he snickers and seems somewhat embarassed. We didn't even know women had delts, believing it was a penis thing.

On the clothing front, I went shopping. I could button up a pair of 8's, but there was some sad shroomage showing. Got a little more to go. But, I did manage to score $5 sweats at Tarjay. Suh-weet!

On the food front, this new peanut ginger sauce in my veggie rice bowls produced a thick toxic fume at the office that will take weeks to vaporize. I'm nobody's friend there for the moment.