Saturday, May 2, 2009

Shortest Love Affair Evah

From its first encounter with my tongue, Sabra's Supremely Spicy hummus seduced me with its creamy orgasmic goodness. I thought I found the Holy Grail of healthy snacking. Sexy flavor with no guilt. As the product proclaims, "Go Mediterranean!" The package invites us to "experience the authentic traditions of the Mediterranean." (emphasis added)

Sadly, the hummus is hardly "authentic Mediterranean."

First of all, it has no olive oil. Zip. Instead, it's made with soybean oil. Ick. Soybean oil is like Agave Nectar...a highly processed food product that is anything but natural. And, there's no lemon juice. Just citric acid. And worse, it is super high in fat compared to traditional hummus. Six grams for a two-tablespoon serving. And about 80 calories. That's about double the fat and calories of a traditional hummus.

I feel like I brought home Christian Bale from the bar, only to wake up with a skanky 45-year- old Bret Michaels in my bed...sans bandanna and smelling like PBR and stale cigarettes. *shudders*

I feel so unclean.


  1. I'd off myself in the morning if I woke up next to Bret Michaels...

  2. Actually, Bret Michaels is 46. I didn't know who the hell he was so it was google time. Via the wiki, he just had a birthday. Creepy lookin dude. That's quite a disturbing scenario you imagined.

  3. I would hate to see what lies underneath that bandana.

    P.S. I love your blog :)

  4. I hope none of that stuff got on us. Did you wash your hands before your posted?

    (Hate to get all attracted to something(one) and find out it (he) is nothing but a lying sob who doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as me.)

  5. I used to work with a young girl who was obsessed with Brett Michaels. I don't know why - he was kind of before her time and not all that hot. But when he was doing one of his pathetic has-been tours she got to meet him. And I'm pretty sure she fulfilled her dreams and blew him. (Can I say that here?) I mean, ICK.

    Despite all of its faults, the hummus looks delish!

  6. Jelly Bean-- Cat's out of the bag, girlfren. Too late. *snorts*

    So, by admitting to the deliciousness of the Sabra hummus, you are also saying that Bret Micheals looks good through beer goggles?

    Wait, that's what I said, too, huh? I need therapy!

  7. I love Trader Joe's hummus..nothing better. I know you mentioned this too. Nothing better than the horshradish TJ hummus, Tribe aint bad either.

  8. Whoa whoa WHOA! What's with all this Brett Michaels hating going on around here?!

  9. I'm with Lisa. Give Bret a break! I mean, the man lost the love of his life 3 seasons in A ROW. Poor dude.